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Title: National Lampoon Headlines Post by Ted on Jan 21st, 2003, 3:40pm Missing California pregnant woman's husband to join in search for wife; OJ Simpson offers to share search advice Sharon says Europe is biased against Israel; "Vy vould you zink zat ve have zomezink against ze Jews?" asks German chancellor innocently North Korea wants "Knee to knee" talks with US; "We'll have to bring in a high chair," smirks President NASA to send teacher into space next year; "probably not a history teacher," notes widowed husband of Christa MacAuliffe dryly American Indian colleges embrace heritage, accept brightly-colored beads for tuition Shark populations in rapid decline due to overfishing; American Bar Association urges members to stay out of the water Researchers discover how embryos stick to uterus; Deranged performance artist discovers how embryos stick to wall of his basement 25% of American women are distressed about their sex lives; 75% have pool boys Rumors of vampire attacks spark fear in Malawi; Government responds by outlawing "Blacula" rentals Australian MD plans to build new, improved suicide machine for people to kill themselves with; calls his groundbreaking invention "the shotgun" Convicted super-hacker Kevin Mitnick allowed to go online again; first thing he does is type "what are you wearing?" in chat room 1 in 5 depressed people attempt suicide; 4 in 5 wonder where the others get their energy from Bush says "there is more to do" to achieve Dr. King's dream; promises to do his best to stop it Libya set to win chairmanship of UN human rights commission; "We have ways of discovering the truth about violations," testifies Libya's chief "investigator" Shortage of Girl Scout Troop leaders blamed on lack of firm, supple prepubescent boys with virgin asses The Who's Pete Townsend Arrested On Pedophilia Charges; Will Change "My Generation" Lyrics To "Hope I die before I'm paroled" |
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Title: Re: National Lampoon Headlines Post by firebrix on Jan 21st, 2003, 5:09pm Hey Ted! Great to see you're back and keeping us all in fits of laughter again! Good to see you again, mate! Hope your car is now fixed too. Happy daze! PFDAN and trouble-free motoring and computing firebrix |
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Title: Re: National Lampoon Headlines Post by 2late on Jan 21st, 2003, 9:33pm LMAO! welcome back bro' ..........2late |
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Title: Re: National Lampoon Headlines Post by Mastifflvr28 on Jan 21st, 2003, 10:01pm so great to see you Ted!! Mast |
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Title: Re: National Lampoon Headlines Post by cootie on Jan 21st, 2003, 10:51pm Good times will be had by all now that Ted is back....Pam |
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Title: Re: National Lampoon Headlines Post by jonny on Jan 21st, 2003, 11:15pm Ted who?.......LOL Glad to see you back, Bro ........................jonny |
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Title: Re: National Lampoon Headlines Post by Peppermint on Jan 22nd, 2003, 12:42am See .... I knew you'd be back you wiseass. :) Glad to see you start off in true form Ted... Boy, wait 'till you get rollin... :P schmuck you... :D Pepp ;) |
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Title: Re: National Lampoon Headlines Post by BobG on Jan 22nd, 2003, 2:56am Ted's back! :D Here's headlines from the Houston Daily News. Gen Xer's Gather to Protest War with Iraq The story goes on to say Gen Xer's and over-the-hill Yuppies held a 10 minute protest shouting "Hell no we won't go. We won't fight for Texaco" And "No war for oil" Then they all hopped in their Escalades, Excursions, Navigators and Hummers and went to Starbucks for a cappuccino. |
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Title: Re: National Lampoon Headlines Post by Charlie on Jan 22nd, 2003, 7:10am Ted's back and all is right with the world. Everyone open their files of incredibly inane political bullshit. Ahh......I feel warm and cosy again.....in strictly a heterosexual fashion, you understand. http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/gifs/couchsmiley.gif Charlie |
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