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New Message Board Archives >> 2002 Posts >> The Berkshire Eagle Headlines
(Message started by: Ted on Dec 10th, 2002, 4:54am)

Title: The Berkshire Eagle Headlines
Post by Ted on Dec 10th, 2002, 4:54am
Like you didn't have it figured out before you clicked here. National Lampoon Headlines:

Al Qaeda states that it is sending a "gift of terror" to America for the holidays; "I'd rather get a Honeybaked Ham," frowns New Jersey housewife

Scientist says oldest American skull found; "Get this scientist off me!" yells Phyllis Diller

Web posting vows more Al Qaeda strikes; angry Usenet geek threatens retaliatory "flame war"

Innovative TV sports exec Roone Arledge dead at 71; left instructions for coffin to be lowered into earth, then raised back up and lowered again, then re-raised and re-lowered, until finally lowered one last time in super slow motion

Pennsylvania school district offers STD tests; Irony-loving sophomore hires hooker, starts cramming

Youth drunk driving deaths down; contributing factors include education, enforcement, really lame parties

Books on personal finances and accounting called good gifts for teens; middle finger raised high in the air deemed good "Thank You" note

Experts believe Al Qaeda has made use of the Internet to communicate among each other; "and apparently they're wearing nothing but Jockey shorts"

Mouse genetic code published; "I'm going to wait 'til it comes out in paperback," says cancer researcher doomed to failure

Winona Ryder gets 3 years probation for theft, 40 years hard time for "Mr. Deeds"

SUPER BONUS HEADLINES

Senator Graham says an Intelligence Czar is needed; "if he is half as effective as the Drug Czar, then by Allah, we have won!" gloats bin Laden

Judge orders Michael Jackson to prove he was bitten by spider; King of Pop requests extension in order to catch crafty Green Goblin

Title: Re: The Berkshire Eagle Headlines
Post by jonny on Dec 10th, 2002, 4:40pm
You ASS, Ted!!!!.......Hook, line and sinker.....you got me again....LOL

I thought, whoa, local news.....LOL ;D

Funny read, Dude.

....................jonny



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