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        New Message Board Archives >> 2002 Posts >> Happy holidays to all 
        
(Message started by: OneEyeBlind on Dec 8^th, 2002, 11:50am)

Title: Happy holidays to all
Post by OneEyeBlind on Dec 8^th, 2002, 11:50am

The holidays always find me reflective. It starts with Thanksgiving, giving thanks for all we have; and continues through the end of the year, giving hope that the new year will bring peace, joy, and serenity to all. I get mushy from the time I buy the Thanksgiving turkey through cleaning up New Years day and starting afresh with all of my resolutions.

Life is funny. You grow up only wanting to move out and be on your own; and then, once you get older, you pray for the holidays to roll around so you can spend time kissing the brother or sister you spent half your life hating.

The things that normally annoy me will not this holiday season. My dad, telling his old stories that everyone has heard a million times will make me laugh. Because it will be one more year that I have gotten to spend with my father. My sister-in-law's excuse for baking the pre-bought cookie dough and trying to pass it off as "delux Christmas cookies" won't bother me, because it will be one more year that I can say I bake much better than her or the Pillsbury Dough Boy. My sister may or may not show up. If she does I will be happy. If she doesn't I will give her a call after everyone has left, asking how her depression is, and letting her know I love her and that we can exchange gifts when things aren't quite so hectic and hard for her to handle. My daughter will complain of the backache the "baby on the way" is giving her with a smile, and will probably compare belly sizes to my sister who is also adding another "bundle of joy" to her already large family (you go sis !! This will be her seventh blessing and I am loving being an Aunt to all of them, hers and the other 25 that I have !!!). My husband may or may not feel well. If he feels good, he will enjoy all the company; if not, well then he will be up in the bedroom knowing that I am enjoying myself downstairs. My family, extended and nuclear, will hug like there is no tomorrow. And invariably there will be some type of disagreement. Whether is be if the turkey is done, or who has to do the dishes. What would family life be without a disagreement or two ?

And eventually, when all calms down and everyone goes home; my husband and I will look at each other and thank God that we have been given another year to spend together. Whether he was feeling good or not won't matter. Just that we have each other at the end of the day will be what is important.

I hope each and every one of you finds something special to rejoice in this holiday season. From my family to yours .... Happy Holidays !!!

Title: Re: Happy holidays to all
Post by Roxy on Dec 8^th, 2002, 12:51pm

You are very, very lucky, and it sounds like you will have a wonderful holiday.

I lost all my grandparents, and my parents pretty young...my brother didn't like the will, so he has cut himself off from us. But, I do have three lovely children, and a terrribly terrific husband, so we all cling to each other at this time of year, and spend many evenings with an open bottle of wine, remembering and laughingly telling stories of those who are not with us any longer. We try to keep them with us in spirit daily. We always have to curse loudly when putting up the Xmas lights...my father would be proud. This year my oldest son is bringing his fiancee...he is realizing that now his time will be divided. and now he will belong to two families. Where to spend Christmas Eve is now the burning question. I do have a wonderful mother-in-law, although her husband has been gone 10 years. If we could talk her into moving closer, we would be ecstatic...but she likes her own home at Christmas, and with teenagers work schedules, we can't, as a family, spend as much time with her as we'd like.

So now, on Christmas eve...instead of only family at the buffett, we invite all our friends who have no family, or their family is to far away to visit...or they bring all their family. We have a huge gathering, and I try to not whine about cooking for 60 people...lol. Now if only we could get snow on the ground in Texas, it would be perfect.

I hope everyone out there has many PF days and nights for the holidays (or all the time-lets think large!)

R

Title: Re: Happy holidays to all
Post by OneEyeBlind on Dec 10^th, 2002, 10:35am

Roxy, glad to hear ya got to pick who you are spending Christmas with. Bet some of the board will be jealous .... they will be stuck spending it with family they inherited. Anyways, Happy Holidays right back at ya ... and enjoy your extended family this year. Life is what ya make it, it can be a bowl of cherries, or just the pits. Take your pick.

Title: Re: Happy holidays to all
Post by StanTheMan on Dec 10^th, 2002, 10:53am

Thanks for the thoughtful, reflective message, Nancy.

Can relate to (and agree with) much with what you said.

Our children are younger (7, 4, and 1). You should have heard the squeals of delight when we put up the Christmas tree, decorations, etc! :)

After a candlelight church service, we have a "waffle feast" on Christmas Eve with my side of the family -- a small tradition that goes back to when I was a kid.

After opening presents Christmas Day, we head for Western Kansas to visit my wife's extended family, for Christmastime on the farm!

All thoughout, my wife and I strive to help keep each other (and our children) focused on the
real "reason for the season" -- God's precious Gift of Christ and the life He brings us.
He is the only reason I can celebrate each day -- even the ones that are filled with pain!

Have a happy holiday, everyone!

StanTheMan

Stan :D

Title: Re: Happy holidays to all
Post by cootie on Dec 10^th, 2002, 11:08am

My holidays have been nothin but stressfull...I 'envy' you and your wonderful family holidays..I have wonderful family don't get me wrong and VERY loveing all the way, but they put to much pressure on us. Both sets eat at the same time.....we have to choose and past several years have HAD to split up to keep the peace bu not makeing it look like only one matter'd to us. It's a bit more 'laxed now these days....still stressy I must say tryin to be everywhere at once. My daughter and husband keep bitein off more then they can chew and fall on there faces......now with a new house and car payment and second new baby they decide there not working anymore...soon they'll be demanding family partcipation in there plea for help. Family dinner at the inlaws ment try and make somethin good fo get 'flammed'.....so now ya know where bah-hum-bug came from ! I wish it could of been different and closer with all the family and not the pressure we had and yelled at if late and glared at......there all wonderful people and family......don't get me wrong there !!! So...I have a bad attitude for holidays even tho I do love them and had wonderful ones at home..........

Title: Re: Happy holidays to all
Post by Cathi on Dec 10^th, 2002, 1:06pm

Cootie-Can you start your OWN traditions? The year my dad died, we dreaded the holidays- rented a cabin- big enough for everyone- the diversion was great- and we had a white Christmas...in CA! This year, our daughter will not be with us for the VERY FIRST TIME :'(-
I dreaded Christmas without her(she's in Italy- for about 6 months....pleasure trip)- our celebration is always Christmas Eve- fundue at midnight, open gifts- children have to wait till morning- well, this year, we are going to the coast- just my husband and me-we'll get back just in time Christmas day to pop prime rib in the oven, and. voila! Another new tradition....and foolish mom no longer feels quite so bad......That's a long way around telling you, Cootie- the holidays are meant to be a joy. We all get the bah- humbugs, but if there is less pressure, and more compromise, everyone is happy-right? You deserve a very Merry Christmas, too-so make your plans according to what works for you......and.....JOY TO THE CLUSTERWORLD!!!

Title: Re: Happy holidays to all
Post by cootie on Dec 10^th, 2002, 5:10pm

Cathi......Happy holidays to you first off !! I tried fer years ta be able ta do our own thing on Xmas or at least go at a later time ta visit.....Brad would not deal with it since his family was "so" strong on tradition. His dad would not talk to us some visits if he disapproved of somethin....I got to HATE the holidays cuz of it. We were told if you want to have holidays at home' then get up earlier'.....they were NOT changeing or lettin us off the hook ! I hated goin over there even worse as the years went by...we'd of done better if we'd of put our foot down first off I think !! When his dad died I noticed things got more relaxed...we went later in the day last year and had a quiet Xmas at home but felt "guilty"....duh....but I felt some sort of strange and deranged satisfaction it fineally got to tht point !! It really shouldn't of been that way.....if we ran into a problem and got there late we were in BIG trouble. Some sort of control thing.....we'll do my folks Xmas eve and his Xmas day....other holidays we split up or do both but can't eat with both so one gets passed by on that deal....the daughter will be interesting with her new baby and problems....can't win fer loosein !!! Anyhone else ever go thru such a ritual with familes ???

Title: Re: Happy holidays to all
Post by Cathi on Dec 10^th, 2002, 5:38pm

Ahhh, Cootie, Family dynamics- aren't they swell? What should be such a beautiful time of year turns into a power play. Hope you can find a way to avoid the pressures, and make it what it should be- joyous, raucus, loving, warm and happy.

Nancy, thanks for the warm wishes.....I wish you and Red a Christmas filled with love and joy, and a New Year filled with HEALTHY surprises!
Cathi

Title: Re: Happy holidays to all
Post by cootie on Dec 10^th, 2002, 6:17pm

Who started the tradition of havein holiday meals at 1:00 pm....no one eats dinner at 1:00 pm......I think it's a conspiracy....(jus jokein)....fer the next couplea weeks yer droolin fer all that big holiday meal stuff 'n deserts verses back to the normal lunch of MSG contianing soups or salads or samich.....blows the diet no doubt......then ya spend all summer tryin ta loose the excess and by Oct/Nov. yer lookin good 'gin.....then it's 'Thanksgiveing' early dinner deal ta start it all over 'gin......life is fulla cycles..............

Title: Re: Happy holidays to all
Post by Charlie on Dec 11^th, 2002, 12:02am

Happy Holidays to you all.

Believe it or not I love this time of year even though I'm alone. All I have to do is send a card or two and buy a present, I'm happy. I'm never alone on the 24th and since the family is so contracted, we go nuts with gifts and I have a great time. I even make cookies. I spend the next day with some of you and Alistair Simm. I can watch Scrooge a dozen times.

I know I'm supposed to be depressed but so far, I still behave like a kid. Maybe it's because no one had better Christmases than I. Everyone in my family was great. No drunks, no feuds or wife beaters...not even a divorce. It was unreal.

Be careful of those dancing sugar plums and good luck avoiding your kid’s endless Harry Potter video replays.

Festive old Charlie

Title: Re: Happy holidays to all
Post by Linda_Howell on Dec 11^th, 2002, 2:47am

Charlie.............

That was beautiful.

LH

Title: Re: Happy holidays to all
Post by pimmony on Dec 11^th, 2002, 4:07am

I have been estranged from my family for thirty and more years and cut off from most everyone I could call friend for five.

Growing up meant really good Christmasses and I was a believer so underneath all the commercial glitter lay a most sincere faith, which shone a light on everything over the season.

I lost that faith and my family and for a while it was all heartache and bitterness and serious depression which shrouded several years and I look back on that time and am amazed it was me.

Anyway, several years ago I started my own traditions based on what me and my partner hold dear and have faith in. The fact is that there is a very real and loving bond between us which has saved my life and this, to me, is what I can spend the quiet days of Christmas celebarating. I am simple, I cook great meals over the quiet days - we always watch Willy Wonker and play old computer games together - Diablo on the lan and even Doom, the old one.

We do not exchange gifts. To be honest we try to do this so much during the year that it would somehow detract.

Anyway I am so looking forward to Christmas now. I do mourn that the true meaning has gone for me (and no, it will never come back as that shining light) but I love the days.

There is also something quite weepy about logging in and posting messages on 25th. I think of the people sleeping in different time zones and how they will wake up, all mussed and scratching from sleep, and read the forums to find nothing but goodwill and warmth on their screens. We leap borders every day and make such huge commitments of faith in each other, and that is a very very wonderful thing.

Title: Re: Happy holidays to all
Post by suzy617 on Dec 11^th, 2002, 4:46am

Happy holidays to all! My 2 sons (18 and 23) go to my ex's family on Christmas eve so I visit friends. The next morning we go to see my mom in the nursing home (which is depressing in itself) then I just cook all the stuff my kids like to eat and hang out on the couch. Its a little quiet and far from how it was when the kids were babies and had lots of family around but I am grateful for them and all my great friends. Kind of sux this year being in the middle of the week and having to work the next day, hate the shopping and wrapping and all that, i'm a little bit of a bah humbug person but thats just me.

suzy