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Title: Why this fighting between us? Post by Svenn on Dec 8th, 2002, 10:34am Long time ago my great grandfather gave me a "present"on the way from childhood to adult. I`d like to share those words with all of my friends here. "O LORD HELP ME TO KEEP MY BIG MOUTH SHUT UNTIL I KNOW WHAT I`M TALKING ABOUT. And i put in a few from myself IF YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY,DONT SAY IT. Over the last months i have seen a lot of fighting and "offending things" here.Just wondering why? I`m afraid that those things in the end will destroy this beatutiful community called Clusterville. I hate that to happend because there is a lot of friends out there looking for us.So why scare the shit of the newcommers here with this behaviour? just a simple question from me Take care friends Svenn |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by jonny on Dec 8th, 2002, 10:42am Why? Because this shit happens every week of every year, if someone with CH is going to be scared of this site cause of two knuckle heads arguing they dont have CH. Plain and simple. When I found CH.COM I would have killed somone if they said I couldnt come back here. DUH!!!!! ........................jonny |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by KingOfPain on Dec 8th, 2002, 11:41am Svenn, Good point. Well put. ^5's to you. I 100% agree. Treat people as you want to be treated. You have to give respect to get respect. Thank you Svenn. |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by cher on Dec 8th, 2002, 1:57pm svenn, i often wonderred that myself. seems that those who argue cant be in that much pain to have the strength to do it in the first place, and like you say,. if you don`t have something nice to say, dont say anything at all, i agree with you too. anyway, how are you my friend? love cher x |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by Edna on Dec 8th, 2002, 2:02pm Smart words from you grandfather Svenn, glad you follow them.......and of course it would be great if EVERYONE here could.......... BUT..... I can also understand the frustration with the founders here, and how it gets to be purty fucking aggravating as all hell when there are ppl around that don't belong.............yeah, very sorry, but EVEN I am getting ticked at some of the stupidity going on here.......NO I'm not gonna whine and say I'm leaving.....that's a damned chicken shit way to be..(sorry if it offends) Shit Svenn, I love you man, and really don't want to get off the subject in YOUR post.....I value the input you give me and what you give here too much to do such a thing........any one have any slams, cussing or whatever to do to me.....IM me..........DON'T DO IT IN SVENN'S POST Don't want to contribute to any of the "fighting" here, I value this place too much........sorry for my frustrated comments Svenn, but it comes after reading a digusting post and you would know which I talk of.....Oh well, if none of you now understand what I'm telling Svenn.......GOOD..............that ONLY goes to show the friendship you COULD build here if you want to. Damn I think I'm no longer making sense.....time to stop before I really blow. Those of you that know ANYTHING about me, know I'm sorry if I offend any true cluster here!!!!!!!!!! sincerely wishing pf moments to all ch sufferers and supporters, after all.......that's why I'm still here during my out of cycle time. EDNA |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by firebrix on Dec 8th, 2002, 2:51pm Friendly and happy greetings Svenn! Good to hear from you. We hope all is well and happy with you in Norway and that the weather is not too cold! We loved the frozen car pic you sent, and the mobile men were too much!! I lost about an hour with that one!! Still can't figure out how to save it tho. Your grandfather must've been good friends with mine!! They both speak the same words anyway. I guess that not everyone had such far-thinking grandparents though, and didn't learn the skills of saying nothing when the opportunity to slam someone arises. Some humans are easier to anger then others too, and when you think about the pain people are in on this site, really, its no wonder they get a bit "toey" from time to time. We are fortunate that there are also plenty of people who are NOT easy to anger here. Like you. When I started work as a brikki in industrial sites, I was gobsmakt at the negative attitudes, the anger and the need to hit out at anything perceived as criticism. I soon learned that the best way to deal with it was to be HAPPY! No matter how I was treated, I would smile and thank them for the benefit of their wisdom. ;D -Crack a funny;(it was a lead balloon many times) and NEVER allow anyone to see that what they said had "got in". Usually, the joke would cause laughter. If not, it's easy to ignore. Some people prefer to live life in anger and that is their choice. It is a lot easier to be angry than happy. (I can back this up with medical research too!) There's plenty to be angry and depressed about , and not everyone has the skills to rise above it. They may learn from people such as you, Svenn. Of course, we all fall from time to time. I "lose it" and say things I don't mean, then wish I could un-say them. I attended the funeral of my 35 year old friend on Saturday. A good chikki she was very young to die. It made me realise that each day is a gift, and what we choose to do with it is entirely up to us. I'm gonna have a good day. I hope everyone reading this does too. Love and peace to y'all firebrix |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by cootie on Dec 8th, 2002, 3:21pm Jus wonderin....who do you guys not want around here.....GAWD....could I be one of 'em.....I'd never want to add to any of you'ns aggravation....jus needed ta ask....I ain't been on here long so I dunno exactly what's up....typical fer me......always a day late..... |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by BobG on Dec 8th, 2002, 3:38pm Stick around, you're needed here and SHUT UP COOTI! NOBODYS TALKING TO YOU. ;) Feel better now? ;D |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by Donna on Dec 8th, 2002, 7:50pm Jeez, Svenn, why don't you just come out and name names. We all know who starts most of the crap around here.............it's Terry and Riccardo.......those two guys just never stop nitpicking. ;) :D ;D I guess you're just too much like your grandfather to do that, tho. :-* |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by Ree on Dec 8th, 2002, 8:12pm nah its really me donna!!! people hate that i dont punctuate and think im too damn religious... did i say damn ~~~off to confession oh oh... love me ps hi svenn~~~be happy friend and stay out of the fights... ((thats what I do))) did i just capitolize that??? |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by Donna on Dec 8th, 2002, 8:19pm No Ree, you didn't just capitolize anything.......and I should add your name to the list with Ricky and Terry..........you are a troublemaker too.........we all know that, especially Ted. Now I'm in trouble but it's just this mood I'm in...........ever hear of jimmy legs? I've got jimmybrains. Help! |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by Charlie on Dec 8th, 2002, 9:03pm Yeah Svenn. It can get pretty boring for some after awhile, and it no doubt scares away some newbies. I confess finding some perverse enjoyment from some of this but it's more fun when we pile on a crank or a snake oil type. This stuff fit better on the old board when you didn't go through so much work to read posts. Everything was a crap shoot. It is a problem and you're right my friend but it's been here forever. Not sure what you can do about it. Den is right. Take what ya need and leave the rest. Too bad this isn't at the top of the page. Take care my friend Charlie |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by Svenn on Dec 9th, 2002, 12:37am Donna Its not my job to "nail people" at the wall with names and all BUT i feel that its my job to tell the the beautiful community of Clusterville when i feel that something bad is going on here.And thats what i did.No more or no less.If somebody read that and recognise them in that,and start thinking ,iVe done my share of the job i think.I`ll never HANG OUT names because i dont think thats the right way to go. Hopefully this answer can clear something out. btw thanks for your Reply Svenn |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by pimmony on Dec 9th, 2002, 1:53am You are right, it is very frightening for a newbie here but I stay, or at least I fight the urge to leave. I reads things like there are too many people here, or ye like scaring the newbies or you hate people who do not belong here (who does not belong?) and I have actually cried when I read them. Call me soft and wimpy but even though I am a new cluster headache sufferer I really do need a group with whom I can identify and who I feel I could actually approach for comfort should I need it. No one has to be what they feel they do not wish to be and that includes welcoming or sympathetic but I flinch when I feel like I am unwelcome simply because I only recently was diagnosed and am new to the forum. I am not in a bout at the moment. When I am next in one I have agreed not to take any medication other than oxygen. I desperately hope I can come here at that time to seek solice. I would love to post more and get to know folk more but I am terrified even as I write this that someone will simply gratuitously post hostility back. I am so easy to get rid of and yes I feel whipped and the cluster headaches are only a very small part of why. This sounds like an appeal for kindness, I wish it did not, it is really about trying to express feelings. If that is not possible, I would carry away the kindness of the responses to my first desperate post for help. |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by Mark C on Dec 9th, 2002, 2:04am A few thoughts, I have been thinking about this post and the problem(?) that is discussed and it seems to me the following is true. Clusterheadaches do not discriminate. The Beast does not care about your skin color, your hair color, or he color of your eyes. It don't care where you or your parents were born. It don't care how much money you have, or don't have (like me!). It don't even care if you believe in God or not. Man, Woman, Child are all susceptible. Young or old, it just don't care. With such a criteria for admission the members of this "exclusive" club are more varied than a UN meeting! With such a wide diversity of people from all walks of life, from all around the world a few "disagreements" are bound to happen. Is it a problem? I don't think so, in the big picture. As a matter of fact I think our widespread diversity is a tremendous advantage in our common goal of living with CH. After all if it wasnt for CH I would never have met my CH "family". Fight amongst yourselves all you want....its just words on the screen........but when the Beast comes knocking I expect every damn one of you to be in my corner as I will be in yours. We have a common enemy, and it's not each other, but like all brothers there is bound to be the occasional fight, so be it. So long as when the shit hits the fan we are one. Remember, Clusterheads are people too. |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by paul_b on Dec 9th, 2002, 4:47am Like your style Mr. C and your insight. I am not one of the attacker types, always perfered harmony, but I am understanding the diversity that exists among us CHers. This place is a good. Where else could I be at 3am pacific time filling in the gap beteen headaches--5th one tonight. |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by Charlie on Dec 9th, 2002, 5:52am Pimmony: No need to worry or to be afraid. No one has been more helpful than Jonny....he's done things for me and it's partially his fault that I"m still here. All you have to do is to give him a reason and he'll do most anything for you. For some odd reason, women fall all over him. He told me so. :D Drk has been helpful too but I haven't known him long. He has done some helpful stuff and has been amusing as well. Separately these clowns are great. I kid you not. Don't pay attention to them when they go after one another. It reads worse than it is. They do have a way with words. Sorry you have this horror but everyone here is your friend, even mean old Charlie and those two idiots who call themselves "Bob," that are victims of failed cranial surgery. :o Welcome to the ward and feel free to jump in the fray with a bayonet in your teeth. You'll have an "edge" on Jonny right off the bat. ;D Charlie 8) |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by Donna on Dec 9th, 2002, 6:02am Sven: It seems that my futile attempt at humor really failed (again). I don't seriously "nail people to the wall", I try to encourage harmony. I'm sure that those I mentioned know without a doubt that I wasn't serious. They were mentioned because they would be the last people guilty and those that know them probably laughed at my post. |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by suzy617 on Dec 9th, 2002, 6:05am Welcome Pimmony, I understand about your feeling uneasy to post here but you really shouldn't feel that way. These guys are all great here. They will help you out with an encouraging word anytime you need it. If they feel the need to fight amongst themselves, thats ok too, they won't take it out on you. Its only words, they're not gonna come to your door and shoot you down (well most of them won't, LOL) So post away my friend... :) suzy |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by Elaine on Dec 9th, 2002, 7:11am Hi svenn, Your a angel with a great personality. I use to be the same way wanted to be a peace maker. This board is the best board I know on the net cause its REAL!!! Other boards are not REAL. I post on many boards, some boards you post on are read and OKed before they are posted. Others are deleted as soon as they hit the boards., but not here, all emotions are excepted. I don't think its newbies against the oldtimers. I think its just human to not always get along. Sad yes but human. A few disagreements is not bad , but what is bad is when someone takes it so to heart that they try to destroy a good thing. That is when it has gone to far. Like I said this site is REAL thats why its so good. |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by StanTheMan on Dec 9th, 2002, 8:22am Svenn, Pimmony (and others): Thanks for your posts -- and I agree with you. I had my "say" on another thread and I'm gonna let it drop. I have no problem with people having a nasty, "drag 'em out" fight -- I just wish they'd do it in private. BUT HEY-- that's just my opinion and the "powers that be" at CH.com don't agree, and that's okay. I'll heed the advice Ree and others have said and mind my own business. Peace to all. StanTheMan |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by Ueli on Dec 9th, 2002, 8:50am Yes, it's a real shame how some newbies are treated. >:( Only yesterday a new guy wanted to tell us something about 'pain meds', but he was received with such flack that he deleted his message again within three quarters of an hour. Due to some intolerant bashers his knowledge is now lost to the rest of the readers. :'( But the worst part: These people who can't get along with others robbed me of an opportunity to sharpen my blade :o Ueli |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by BobG on Dec 9th, 2002, 11:19am Sorry Ueli. I was one of those that robbed you of the opportunity to cut the I-have-backpain-and-can-supply-drug$ snake oil salesman. Next time I'll wait and let you take first shot at him. :D |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by echo on Dec 9th, 2002, 1:10pm Bob G. Glad you brought this subject up. I pulled my back while doing the limbo over the weekend and found the following to be a mircle worker. One part WD40, 2 parts baking soda, 1 tsp strawberry jam and a medium Canadian Goose crap mixed together and duct taped to the hurting area made it better within 10 days. I need someone to lab test this for me, maybe you or Ueli could pass this along to the next snakeoil person. I thought squishing it behind the eye may cure athlete's foot. Too much time on my hands |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by BobG on Dec 9th, 2002, 1:18pm Thanks for the tip echo. The secret to the formula is the proper use of duct tape.. I'd like to duct tape the snake oil peddler's butt closed for about 2 weeks. Then he'd know what real pain is. |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by Roxy on Dec 9th, 2002, 1:36pm Welcome pimmony! I am another newbie to the site, and I do have to say it can be a bit intimidating at first. I've never posted, or been in a chat room before...but, I have found that I really enjoy this site. Most of the posts are either amusing, informative or supporting. The arguments, to me, are the amusing part. I may be wrong, and yes people do disagree...if we couldn't, and were not able to express it, well, does totalitairian ring a bell. Everyone's opinions and thoughts, to me, are interesting. The world would be terribly boring otherwise. I feel, underneath everything, there is a warmth and caring from the people here that you don't find very often, and I plan to hang around and try to get to know everyone. Yes, we may be new, but I don't think my ch's are going away...so neither am I (except to New Orleans this week for a Xmas party! yeah!). Sooner or later, we won't be newbies! And sooner or later, I will get the hang of this message board. (I'm still figuring out how to do a pic). PFDAN Roxy "One can always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing" Oscar Wilde |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by Dave_W on Dec 9th, 2002, 3:08pm Hi Friends, Oh, and welcome Pimmony and Svenn! I first came here in 1998, not long after DJ cranked it up. I found lots of help and support, and also flame wars. I try to take what I want and leave the rest. I've been lucky with my cycles for a few years, they haven't been too bad. This year sucks though, and I've been back more frequently. In between times, I always lurk -- just to stay connected. I'll stick my neck out and venture an answer to this post's header: Why this fighting between us? BECAUSE OUR HEADS HURT LIKE HELL ITSELF AND MAYBE EVEN WORSE THAN THAT!!! Stay cool and stick around, newcomers! It's the best family in the world. Peace and PFD's everybody, The Old Decrepit One |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by Slammy on Dec 9th, 2002, 4:06pm Well :-X It seems that every week we get a "Why can't we all get along" post. Nothing specific, but a generalization which leaves everyone to wonder who it applies to. Since we have enough resident experts which have forgotten more about clusters than I will ever learn, there is nothing more for Slammy to add. Just change my status to "lurker" :) Slammy 8) |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by echo on Dec 9th, 2002, 4:35pm Since the california dude has gone into lurker status the only thing I say is. Hey Asswipe I'm calling you out |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by RevDeFord on Dec 9th, 2002, 6:50pm Welcome Newbies, hi svenn. The overwhelming majority of the posts on these boards are totally in fun. That is important to remember. And occasionally, when they aren't just in fun, just like in a real family, we speak our mind, sometimes in awe inspiring ways, and other times in moronic, idiotic ways. But usually, once the air is cleared, we go a day or 2 without having to do it again. ;D |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by pimmony on Dec 10th, 2002, 1:51am Thank you all so much for the reassurances and warmth! One thing I have been wanting to say for so long is how much I admire the way you all lay it on the line, expressing your pain, feelings and giving yourselves so much. Not least, too, the way you are all willing to offer advice, support and information. I was not sure if that would come across the right way and I would end up roadkill! I am sure now I won't end up that way I will become a big pest and when I can find a picture of me that is not too appalling I shall submit it for the rogues gallery. |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by dannyboy on Dec 10th, 2002, 5:15am You're right Svenn. I feel that wars on this board result in unnecessary and innocent casualties. I've been on at management, royalty and other assorted dignitaries, apostels, and messiahs of Ch.com for the longest time, on the request of The Italian Stallion, to set up a Fighters Corner... A Place at Ch.com Dedicated to Conflict ...Wanna throw rocks cause you know more ... sweet, it means you have a strong opinion, hurl away ... but not in a place full of sunday shoppers and kids. You see there's only so much that innocent Sunday shoppers and kids can handle before they shout "Enough!" So issues that generally blow into a fight on Ch.com often dissappear below the surface unresolved, only to re-emerge bigger and meaner and more distructive than before. ...kind of like D.O.U.C.H.E. Sure there are arseholes here, I'm walking talking proof, but there are unresolved issues too, and no place to duke them out. Danny |
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Title: Re: Why this fighting between us? Post by Charlie on Dec 10th, 2002, 6:00am Thanks Dannyboy: Quote:
Gotta admire the consistency Charlie |
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