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        New Message Board Archives >> 2002 Posts >> Washington Post Headlines
        
(Message started by: Ted on Dec 3^rd, 2002, 2:17am)

Title: Washington Post Headlines
Post by Ted on Dec 3^rd, 2002, 2:17am

It's still National Lampoon. Still falling for it?

Americans mark World AIDS day with rallies, gay jokes

Asian stocks steady as reports from Monster Island remain positive

Bush's twin daughters turn 21; Texas bar owners brace for record year

Separated twins to return to Guatemala for Christmas; "that's a hell of a present," notes one sister

Canadian politician forced to resign after calling Bush "a Moron"; Emperor's tailor unveils new line of invisible clothes perfect for Northern winters

Bush asks Americans to pledge 2 years of their lives to Public Service; vows to do his good work for America immediately after leaving office

Heidi Klum's marriage is over; despite real possibility of supermodel engaging in promiscuous bouts of "rebound sex," you in particular are not advised to get your hopes up

Senators warn of dangers from missile attacks; "Look out for missiles," says Senator helpfully

Israeli tanks raid Gaza town, bring back 20 sets of panties

Producer sues Madonna for not giving him credit for "Swept Away"; Madonna files countersuit to force him to take it

SUPER BONUS HEADLINES

Affirmative action case awaits Supreme Court review; in discouraging footnote, Rehnquist says court is entitled to move "on Colored People's Time"

Porn business booms despite weak economy; "We're the last ones to feel the squeeze," says actor proud of his staying power

Peanut butter may prevent diabetes; definitely good for getting dogs to perform cunnilingus

Title: Re: Washington Post Headlines
Post by Charlie on Dec 3^rd, 2002, 6:29am

Hilarious Ted...some of the best I've seen.

The following got lost in the shuffle and I thought I'd bring it back up for awhile:

Henry is baaaaack.......I lifted most of this but you guys know me. I love this stuff

Who better to investigate an unwarranted attack on America than the man who played Iago to Richard Nixon, telling him he'd be "a weakling" if he did not prosecute newspapers running the Pentagon Papers, and wiretapping journalists? It‘s safe to investigate 9/11 now, secure in the knowledge that Mr. Kissinger has never shed light on a single dark corner, or failed to flatter a boss.

If you want to get to the bottom of something, you don't appoint Henry Kissinger. If you want to keep others from getting to the bottom of something, you appoint Henry Kissinger. Bush and Cheney are in tune with Mr. Kissinger's principles: that the greatest enemy of the U.S. is the U.S. media.

George never disappoints.

Charlie

Title: Re: Washington Post Headlines
Post by domm on Dec 3^rd, 2002, 8:29pm

Ted - you seem to enjoy this stuff. Here's another site if you haven't already stumbled across it..
http://www.theonion.com/

or my favorite - real news that's too wierd to even make up
http://www.fark.com/