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        New Message Board Archives >> 2002 Posts >> National Lampoon Headlines
        
(Message started by: Ted on Nov 12^th, 2002, 2:06am)

Title: National Lampoon Headlines
Post by Ted on Nov 12^th, 2002, 2:06am

Again, most suck. Some are good.

FDA okays 20-minute HIV test; "It's a simple multiple choice test filled with Nathan Lane trivia," says spokesman

Red wine may provide basis for anti-cancer drug that goes well with beef

Titanic victim identified; "Anyone who saw that goddawful movie"

GOP plans tax cuts for the rich, drilling for Alaskan oil and appointing right-wing judges; "Did you think they were lying?" wonders befuddled Democratic strategist

Ramadan begins; experts warn that terrorists will be extra cranky after month-long fast

Teenage girls now often initiating sexual activity with boys; 35-year-old man tries hard to look younger

German man kills mother, lives with body for six weeks; finally realizes "the sex is the same, but the dishes are piling up!" Waits for rimshot.

Prime Minister Blair warns Britons of high risk of terror attacks over Christmas; "On a brighter note," he added, "the 'War on Fruitcake' has been won"

Americans are more body-conscious than Germans; Germans more "body-count conscious" however

4 out of 5 high school girls experienced some form of sexual harassment; 1 in 5 are actually nasty, dirty very *friendly* persons who like it rough

Title: Re: National Lampoon Headlines
Post by BobG on Nov 12^th, 2002, 2:23am

Thanks Ted
That started my day with a chuckle.
Only 7 and a half more hours then I'm going to Vegas. ;)