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        New Message Board Archives >> 2002 Posts >> Loss in Italy
        
(Message started by: Jill on Nov 1^st, 2002, 4:15pm)

Title: Loss in Italy
Post by Jill on Nov 1^st, 2002, 4:15pm

I am not sure how to begin this, where to begin or even what to say, I just know that something needs to be said.
I lost two little cousins in Italy from the earthquake and some of my family has had to leave their homes. My cousins were Natalia and Maria, they were both six and were the sweetest kids in the world. Natalia had turned six not that long ago, she was so happy for her birthday.
They came to visit us not that long ago and I kept in touch with them alot, I always had pictures. I loved them, still do and the pain is unbearable.
I am not sure how to deal with this, it is too much on top of everything else. I feel so alone, scared and confused about it all. Why did it happen? Why would two inocent little girls be killed for no reason? It is just not fair at all and I just dont understand.
It is so hard to imagine and I never would have thought such tragedy would strike our family..why?
How does one get past the pain...does it ever get easier? I hate this so much....
Thanks for listening, I dont know what to think anymore about anything. I am sorry if this is confusing but my mind is turning too fast for me to write..sorry.
Thanks guys for everything
Jill

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by BobG on Nov 1^st, 2002, 4:22pm

We're sorry to hear of your loss. Our prayers and sympathies are being sent to you and your family.

I also do not understand why the children have to be taken from this earth, especially in such a tragic way.

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by Karla on Nov 1^st, 2002, 4:22pm

Jill I am so sorry for your pain and sorrow. It is never easy to loose a loved one especially when they are young. I don't know what to say except that I will pray for you and your family to have peace and confort through this trial.
Love,
Karla

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by 2late on Nov 1^st, 2002, 4:27pm

Jill, i'm very sorry to hear this, it's not fair & i can't imagine the grief you & your family are goin' thru. we are here for you!! ...........2late

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by OneEyeBlind on Nov 1^st, 2002, 4:36pm

Prayers going out for you and your family. Sometimes life is tougher than we ever thought it could be. For sure those two little girls have wings and are in heaven. Know that they are at peace and try and take some comfort in that. In the meantime ... I'll be praying for you and yours.

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by Cathi on Nov 1^st, 2002, 4:37pm

Jill-
I am so sorry to hear that you have lost 2 such precious ones from your life. Hold their memories close to your heart. Your cousins will be remembered on 2 continents. You will get past this- it's not easy, but those little girls will be with you forever, and some time from now the pain you're feeling will be replaced with your fondest memories. My heartfelt sympathy to you & your family.
Cathi

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by kim on Nov 1^st, 2002, 4:39pm

I don't know the answer either - it's not fair. Heart goes out to you and your family.

Kim

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by Svenn on Nov 1^st, 2002, 4:47pm

Prayers going out for you and your family

Svenn

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by jonny on Nov 1^st, 2002, 4:53pm

:'(

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by Jackie on Nov 1^st, 2002, 5:17pm

My heart goes out to you and your family, Jill.
I'm so sorry.

Jackie

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by Drk^Angel on Nov 1^st, 2002, 5:36pm

Thoughts and wishes for you and your family, as well as everyone else connected with the tragedy.

PFDAN................................. Drk^Angel

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by Elaine on Nov 1^st, 2002, 6:42pm

You never get over the lost of a child or loved one. The pain lessens but its with you always, but I look at it as a way to keep them alive in our hearts. No one knows why its not ours to know.No words can easy the pain, I KNOW...but knowing others care and are here for you makes a big difference.
Know you have friends here that care.

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by Not4Hire on Nov 1^st, 2002, 8:35pm

....so sorry to hear of your loss. Please know that they are in our prayers and send our condolences to your family in Italy. Also please let us know how YOU are doing.......Steve, Martha and the kids....

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by Charlie on Nov 1^st, 2002, 11:31pm

Damn Jill......The world has no business doing that to kids. All of us feel this kind of thing a little.

For you, it will never be as it was but, it will become something which will be easier to set to one side for a time. It will take time though. Feel free to vent.

Charlie

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by Mark C on Nov 1^st, 2002, 11:40pm

Prayers are with you and the families in this tragedy.

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by Peppermint on Nov 2^nd, 2002, 12:22am

My dear Jilll.. :'(

Its easy to see why people get mad at the world.. just remember these two precious girls as the sweet angels you know.....there is a plan for us all, however hard it feels.. Wish I had more to offer, but here's a shoulder if you need one.

Heartfelt sympathies to you and your loved ones... so sorry for your loss sweetie.

Love, Peppermint

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by Edna on Nov 2^nd, 2002, 12:46am

Jill sweetheart, my thoughts and prayers are with you. It is a sad time for you I know. None of us know the reason and when it's something sudden and tragic it makes it all the harder to understand or comprehend.

In time your grief WILL subside, and in place will remain the fond memories. And when you're able to smile when remembering, their joy will be lived through you in the moment.

Pray for them and all others struck by this tragedy along with us.

My sympathies to you and your family,
EDNA

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by Riccardo on Nov 2^nd, 2002, 3:30am

Jill, I am so sorry.

That school (500 miles far from me) have had to be demolished 5 years ago (the Police discovered the documents in the Mayor house).

All the pupils of the 1st grade of elementary school has beed died in the earthquake. And the punishment for the Mayor, that forgot the demolition has been very hard..... his daughter died in the same school!!!

I'm with you for the loss, and if you need that I phone of write to your relatives, just ask, I will do for sure.

Ciao

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by Jill on Nov 2^nd, 2002, 7:04am

Thank you all for your kind words, you truly are some of the best people around and so much like my family.

I can not believe the horror that has evolved and am at a loss at believing how these two beautiful little girls can be gone. I really used to believe that some things are not to be understood and that there is a reaon for everything that happens, but now I am in doubt. It just does not seem right at all.

They were so wonderful, always smiling, so inquisitive and just the nicest kids. They had a way of working into anyones heart with their personalities and thier kindness. I am sorry that I keep talking about them but I just cant help it, I cant believe that they are gone.

Now all I can do is try to get by this, a task that is not easy in any sense and I am not sure how to do it. I am going to try and get funds or something for those in Italy that have had to leave their homes, for everyone not just my family. The pain is so unbearable, I need to help in some way, some form.

Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers, no words can heal the pain but knowing that you are there, my other family does help to ease the burden.

Jill

PS. Not4Hire- I am still battling the beast more than 8 times a day and they are some hard hits. Thanks for wondering.

Title: mourning medication
Post by rumplestiltskin on Nov 2^nd, 2002, 9:07am

In my morning meditation it consels me to "...gladly accept God's plan".
I know this is the "key"....i'm just so bad at it.

I know the big picture is too big fer my eyes...even with my glasses on.

A baby swept away. Why is there so much rain? Why can't the river banks hold it? Why was that child so close to the edge? Why did I have to know it happened? Why do I care?...on another day a gentle breeze will blow, the sun will be shining and the river will run peaceful...and I'll enjoy watchin it...on that day it will be easy to "gladly accept God's plan"....i won't need reasons. i won't ask "why".

Pain brings us to this site...this webpage...to deal with the pain in us and in others...i can't fix yers...all of us wish we could. We can only be together...my best guess is.... for a brief moment we find someone staring and caring about us and get a little lost in their face...if only fer a moment we get distracted from the pain....and maybe....just maybe ....that other person will take our hand and walk with us till the rains stop and floodwaters subside and we can sit by the still waters and talk of happier days.

Walk in the sunshine
den

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by Edna on Nov 2^nd, 2002, 9:24am

Jill, told you ppl here would lend support. Now go back and re read den's post

Thank you den your words ALWAYS seem to keep us in the right perspective.

You know how to reach me if you need Jill,

wishing pf moments in time for all,
EDNA

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by Jabeen on Nov 2^nd, 2002, 10:46am

I know there are no answers-but when catastrophic things happen you always end up asking "why"??? Man made violence is one thing-but theres no way to explain acts of God and nature. I read only 1 building totally collapsed that day-the school. Why? Why not the jail?? A day starts off like normal, you head off to school-it's just unbelievable. I pray too for your family and all the lost souls.
Jabeen

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by Jill on Nov 2^nd, 2002, 2:43pm

I am sorry to be writing again about the pain of this tragedy but I need to get it out and you guys are so great, so I hope that you dont mind at all.

I decided to take some "me" time today and went to a local park to just relax and, I guess, let my mind wander and to find a sense of serenity. I am trying to work through my thoughts, to understand them and to move past them, if that makes sense. However I am at a loss as to how to get past them, to work with them and understand them.

I am at the point now where I still cant believe that all of this has happened. These children, though so far away, were so close and were like sisters to me. Our family is very close and distance could never affect that fact.

I keep trying to cope with it but the only way that my mind is letting me think about it is to want blame someone. Who do we blame though? I know that it is not supposed to be anyones fault, but it sure feels like it should be.

Do I try and blame our ultimate power? That does not seem right since He is supposed to always have a plan and I dont like the feeling of blaming Him. (I dont mean to offend anyone, I really dont)

Do I blame the mayor? Shouldnt he have know that the building was unsafe and no children should have been in there? I would think so and it is so easy to blame him but he also lost a child, so that is not fair either and maybe it was out of his control.

Then I come to, do I blame myself for all of this? Have I done something so bad that I deserve all of this pain? I thought that I had enough pain (the clusters, my family situation, etc) but I guess not. I suppose that someone is trying to tell me something but the words are muffled.

I am aware that I am not supposed to feel this way but I know that my family is great and they dont deserve this, no family does for that matter. It seems like I will never learn to accept, to deal with or to understand why all of this has happened, why even the last few weeks have been so rough.

I thank you all for "listening" and I cherish everything that you say. I appreciate the help and it is so wonderful to know that others care, that others understand the pain.

Jill

PS Den's words were beautiful and I really took them to heart today...thank you.

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by Darleen on Nov 2^nd, 2002, 3:36pm

Jill,

Don't ever apologize for posting - that's what we are here for. I'm not very good at putting things into words but den did say it as well as it could be said.

I can't explain why things happen the way they do but please know that we are all here for you and prayers and sympathies go out to you and your family.

Lots of love,
D

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by Slydog on Nov 2^nd, 2002, 5:28pm

Jill My thoughts are with you. May you find some peace for the pain in your heart as well as your head.
Slydog

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by Jill on Nov 2^nd, 2002, 9:40pm

Thanks for the support once again. Just when I dont think things could get worse, they do. I guess I should prepare myself and be on guard but that just does not seem right.

I have learned that my one uncle and aunt's house is completely destroyed and some others are severely damaged. They have lost almost everything, this is just not fair. How much more can be dealt to us?

They are supposed to be holding a funeral service tomorrow for all of the children. I wish so bad that I could be there for them but I guess that being there in spirit is okay too. Can I ask, though, that you try and remember them? I know it is alot and I always feel bad asking, but for all of the victims, all of the families, my precious cousins. It means alot to me and my family, more than I can express.

I have lost alot of faith today (sorry) and am not sure how it is going to come back. I keep trying to think that there is a reason for all of this, but is there really? What reason would justify this kind of torment on a family/ families?

I wish so bad that this never happened but I suppose that that will get me nowhere. I just dont want to accept it yet, this is too much pain to bear right now or anytime for that matter.

Thank you for listening, I am sorry to vent too much. I have so many feelings running through my mind and so many emotions that I just dont know how to deal with.

Thanks for everything

Jill

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by Drk^Angel on Nov 3^rd, 2002, 1:07am

A Special Request -- KEK 11/3/2002

Mourn not over my death,
Or that I have gone,
But celebrate the life I had,
And the memories you will carry,
For I am in a better place,
And as long as you remember,
I will never truely die.

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by Jill on Nov 3^rd, 2002, 8:10pm

I am so sorry to write once again of this but it has just really hit me what has happened. Before I couldnt believe it, I didnt want to believe it but now, now the pain is all too real.

I am not sure what struck the chord in my head and my heart, but something did and it hurt so bad, now I cant stop crying, it just hurts.

I know that this may sound extreme, but I am not good at dealing with so much pain, so much in a short amount of time. My friend gave me this quote the other day and it weighs in my heart.

"Sometimes you must be hurt in order to grow, fail in
order to succeed, and lose in order to gain, because
some lessons can only be learned through pain."

I am wondering how much pain one has to go through (anyone really) before you can grow enough and what is the point in going through it all. My heart aches so badly now, more than before, for my cousins, my family and all the others.

I dont want to sound selfish, but how can it be allowed that one person go through so much? This is applicable for anyone, not just me. I cant help but wonder what part of life is worth all of this. I cant see what the future is beholding when the present is so unbearable.

I have been battling the beast all day today, when I wanted to rest he would not let me, when I wanted peace it was not allowed. How much more of a fight do I need to give? How more do I have to go through before it gets better?

I am sorry for being so down, for writing about this again but I am shocked and scared that all of this has hit so hard today. I never knew that so many tears could be cried, how many more before the pain subsides, if it ever will?

Thanks for listening, being there. I am sorry if this post does not make too much sense, my feelings are going faster than I can think them out and I hurt so bad it is hard to write. sorry.

Thanks
Jill

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by domm on Nov 3^rd, 2002, 8:15pm

Jill - I have no idea how to consoul you, other than to let you know we are there for you.
May you find peace in your soul
domm

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by Ree on Nov 3^rd, 2002, 8:31pm

With everything else you are going through at this time... I cannot imagine the weight on your heart right now... Little children ask nothing but to be loved... Try to celebrate their lives no matter how short they were and bring comfort to yourself knowing you will be with them again... I am so sorry for the people that they have left behind for they suffer no more...love to you ree

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by Edna on Nov 4^th, 2002, 7:24pm

And this is my favorite part of your post.................

"I decided to take some "me" time today and went to a local park to just relax..."

as I've told you I think you needed this.......and the crying probably came from all the thinking you had time for, BUT GUESS WHAT? THAT'S OK

Grief is a process that goes through many stages...crying is healthy because that is one of them. And when you go through any others, GUESS WHAT...we'll still be here to help you through.

Please don't lose or question your faith Jill, if you find yourself doing so, perhaps it would truly benefit you to talk to a clergy member.

Still wishing you the best, keep us all posted WE CARE

EDNA

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by OneEyeBlind on Nov 4^th, 2002, 7:56pm

Jill, my thoughts and prayers are with you. It's really difficult to watch people suffer, but your friend is right ... in the end .... you will have grown. Suffering brings compassion and having true compassion opens the door for so many things. Prayers and hugs coming your way.

Title: Re: Loss in Italy
Post by catlind on Nov 4^th, 2002, 8:31pm

:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
A tear for each one lost.

Jill my heart aches for you. No words will ease your pain. I cannot fathom that kind of loss.

I can tell you that from my own experiences, there is no getting past the pain, just going straight through it. Don't deny yourself your emotions. Don't be strong, don't try to hide what you feel. Let your anger out, yell and scream and punch pillows, let your heartache out and let the tears flow, let each and every emotion have it's moment and go straight through them, not past them. No one has the right to tell you how you *should* feel, you feel what you feel, and don't deny yourself those feelings. I have no answers for such a heartwrenching tragedy.

A Native American Prayer:

I give you this one thought to keep
I am with you still I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
When you awaken in the mornings hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush --
of quiet birds in circled flight
I am the soft stars that shine at night
Do not think of me as gone --
I am with you still --
In each new dawn

If you need anything call me or email

Cat