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Title: Hey LT Post by Mark C on Oct 21st, 2002, 1:09am Is your head still hurting? I was thinking about your post from the other day when you were talking about telling everyone the HA were gone, and then they were back and how much it sucked. I am going through the same thing, coming through 2 months of attacks. Been on Medrol and Topamax but the Steroids are gone and it sure feels like the beast is back. The Topamax aint working. I really dont think it ever left, just subdued for a while. I have had Medrol quite a few times and this it what it usually does, works for a short while, then quits. I have not had a HA yet but I have had some real powerful ghosting to the point today that I was in the decision making process of should I take a Zomig or not, it was that close. I dont know how to explain to my wife and kids, my friends and co-workers how after 2 months and $2000 worth of meds my head is still fucked up. It should be over by now, hell maybe it is, I am just a girl thingy. Well at least I have had a couple of weeks to get a few meals in and some sleep so if the beast does want to dance some more I have a little more strength than I did 2 weeks ago. Maybe I am turning Chronic, oh no..........I hope not. I hurt much more often when I was younger and this reminds me of then. Sort of PF today........... Mark |
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Title: Re: Hey LT Post by LTBullitt on Oct 23rd, 2002, 3:44am Same game endless days damn man, as brutal as the pain is, being this mentally fucked up from it is just as bad you don't stop shaking i just want it to go away i have this beautiful dream of becoming a junkie but it's not possible with CHs i know lots of people can deal with clusters, hell deal with having them and the other problems in life but i'm not doing it, i'm donewith reality(whatever the hell that is anyways) i don't do pain, i definately won't see doctors or take their poisons i can find my own drugs if this will just end so no more working out, no more books no more clean living no more life i'll live on the outer limits until I can fade away too sick, too tired the game is boring, it always was i want to sleep again and dream of fire |
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Title: Re: Hey LT Post by Ree on Oct 23rd, 2002, 8:18am LT... I hate that you feel this way and it sounds as though you are giving up the fight... Don't... get up and move on. Keep working out, get pissed... beat this thing. You have so much to fight for. Start today and try again. Ree |
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Title: Re: Hey LT Post by Margi on Oct 23rd, 2002, 9:11am Ree's right, LT - get MAD. Get EVEN. Keep fighting. You've got lotsa clusterpeeps out here pulling for ya. Who's to say you won't be the guy that discovers the cure? Stand strong in the face of the demon, LT. If you feel like you've reached the end of your rope, know that you have all us idiots out here with an endless supply. And if you can't deal with it alone - don't try. Go to emergency or call 911 if you feel like the beast is winning. Ok? Promise? |
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Title: Re: Hey LT Post by Peppermint on Oct 23rd, 2002, 9:20am Hey Kid. Now...these two angels above me are telling you to fight... you have to fight A.... don't give up. Ya hear me?? Don't give in... Think Rocky. I'm sorry.. but I had to put my 2 cents in - maybe it'll be worth the million coming from the ladies above who are definitely more experienced in this than me.... You don't have to be alone in this. signed..the other kid |
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Title: Re: Hey LT Post by Mark C on Oct 23rd, 2002, 1:31pm Hang on LT...........this shit gets old, I know, I been doing this a long fucking time and I too and damn tired of it, going on three months now. Had some days relief but the last few are getting worse, its coming back I can tell, I've done this long enough to know, hurting right now, about a K4 ghost, starting to tear, think bout trex, fuck. Hang on LT, I am |
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Title: Re: Hey LT Post by Ree on Oct 24th, 2002, 8:39pm checking in hopin you guys are both ok... thinking about you... ree |
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Title: Re: Hey LT Post by Mark C on Oct 26th, 2002, 1:51am Thank Ree, I think I might be a little better, at least for now. I dont sleep much, stay up all night and day. Might get 4 hours out of 24 but it will do for now. You were one of the first to welcome me I thank you again. I found a home. I been hurtin a bit much to post as much as I would like but I hope that will change soon. LT........HEY.......LT.....you OK man?.......where are you? Bitch, moan start a flame thread, check out the "I love Hub" thread, its funny as hell, hey they caught the sniper, I am fixing to turn 41, my wife has stopped bitchin after 3 days, come on get up and raise a little hell!! Love you guys Mark |
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Title: Re: Hey LT Post by jonny on Oct 26th, 2002, 7:25pm on 10/23/02 at 13:31:15, Mark C wrote:
LMMFYBO!!!!!;D Dont mean to demean your pain Bro, I envey you! Hey Svenn, bye bye jonny |
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Title: Re: Hey LT Post by talitha on Oct 26th, 2002, 8:03pm LT, I don't understand half the stuff on the posts but I know pain and after 21 years of this crap you'd think we'd get used to it, or get tough, or whatever.But ... geez this is no help at all to you. hang in there, please cause this beast can't win. talitha |
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Title: Re: Hey LT Post by Charlie on Oct 26th, 2002, 8:57pm Dear Talitha: You are right and anyone who says they can get used to CH pain, doesn't have CH. There is a lot here I don't understand as well. We have our fun and you're welcome to join in. Things get a little bouncy at times but much of it is between old friends. I'm glad you're staying with us and your input is welcome. We need you as much as you may need us. Charlie |
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Title: Re: Hey LT Post by Mark C on Oct 26th, 2002, 11:22pm I came here at a very low point and received support that was, and still is overwhelming. This cycle seems to be drawing to an end (?) and if possible I would like to give 100x the support have received. I am ECH so I am lucky (?) enough to get some months in a row PF. During these times I intend to give back what I have been given, because I KNOW the beast will return. When it does return, you will be the first to know. It always has, every year since I was 14 years old. I am already quite possessive of this place and you people in a very short period of time and feel not only my pain, but some of yours as well, which is what I think this is about. Jonny was nice enough to smack me of a pity pot a few weeks ago, thanks Jonny. I hope to return the smack some day for you too ;D I envy you too Jonny for you seem to have found the magic combination of preventive meds that work. I am still searching, till then the trex will have to do. This shit gets real hard, life with such debilitating pain is almost unbearable at times, and is for some. They don't call these "suicide headaches" for nothing. I bet most of us at one time or another have contemplated a final solution, I have. LTs' post hit home with me as do most of what this site is REALLY about. I have been where he is at, a bunch. Pain, hopelessness, fear, anger, depression.........sucks. I am glad I am no longer alone and neither is LT, or even Jonny ;D I'm done. Thanks, Mark |
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Title: Re: Hey LT Post by OneEyeBlind on Oct 27th, 2002, 6:53pm Hey, I finally heard from LT ... took a few emails. He is still really not feeling good. I let him know you guys were looking for him. Pray for some relief for him, and hopefully he will be back soon. Just thought I would let you know. |
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Title: Re: Hey LT Post by Mark C on Oct 27th, 2002, 7:32pm Thank One Eye, I sent a couple too. We know how to hurt thats one damn thing for sure. Hang on LT Mark |
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Title: Re: Hey LT Post by LTBullitt on Nov 1st, 2002, 12:23am Hey guys. Same story, I'm alive and all, just not happy about it. hehe thats just me :) Kinda had to hide away. This stuff is pretty rough and I don't feel my negativity is helping anyone a god damned bit so I just shut up and locked myself away for awhile. I'm reading everything you guys write and appreciate it. I felt I had to post now so others wouldn't think I got better and decided to forget about everyone. Thats something I won't do and when I get out of this cycle I'll post so much stupid shit and annoy everyone to the point that I will have to be banned forever from the site. hehe :) Love, Andrew |
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Title: Re: Hey LT Post by Mark C on Nov 1st, 2002, 1:35am Glad to hear from you, I know you been having a rough time, I hope you are gonna get a break for the Holidays. I think I am, Lets hope so. Post away and lets stir things up a bit ;D See ya later, Mark |
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Title: Re: Hey LT Post by OneEyeBlind on Nov 1st, 2002, 4:00am Hey, glad to hear ya still kicking bro. Hang in there !!!! Nancy Mc |
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Title: Seraph sings above Post by Peppermint on Nov 1st, 2002, 9:19am Hey Kid... ;) I knew it.... Kick ass. Tell more stories. LIVE... and don't say no. :) |
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Title: Re: Hey LT Post by Slydog on Nov 1st, 2002, 11:02am LT, Just wanted to say hang in there. Keep Fighting the Beast!!!! Slydog |
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