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        New Message Board Archives >> 2002 Posts >> National Lampoon Headlines
        
(Message started by: Ted on Sep 30^th, 2002, 11:33pm)

Title: National Lampoon Headlines
Post by Ted on Sep 30^th, 2002, 11:33pm

They sucked this week. This thread is now available for thanking me for not posting them.

Title: Re: National Lampoon Headlines
Post by Charlie on Oct 1^st, 2002, 2:40am

Okay but here are some more predictions:

JAPANESE CARS:
With over 50 foreign cars already on sale here, the Japanese auto industry isn't likely to carve out a big slice of the U.S. market.
_Business Week, 1979

Trains:
As you may well know, Mr. President, 'railroad' carriages are pulled at the enormous speed of 15 miles per hour by 'engines' which, in addition to endangering life and limb of passengers, roar and snort their way through the countryside, setting fire to crops, scaring the livestock and frightening women and children. The Almighty certainly never intended that people should travel at such breakneck speed.
_Martin Van Buren, then governor of New York, in a letter to President Andrew Jackson, 1829

OVERWEIGHT:
A 1974 report by the Institute for the Future predicted that by 1985 no one would be overweight, thanks to special foods and supplements.

HUMAN ACTIVITY:
"The main result of all these developments will be to eliminate 99 percent of human activity, and to leave our descendants faced with a future of utter boredom, where the main problem in life is deciding which of the several hundred TV channels to select."
_Arthur C. Clarke, The World of 2001, 1968

INTERNET:
"I predict the Internet will soon go spectacularly supernova and in 1996 catastrophically collapse."
_Bob Metcalfe, InfoWorld, 1995

Uh......Thanks Ted. Better luck next week.

Charlie