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        New Message Board Archives >> 2002 Posts >> I hate my painfree days
        
(Message started by: LTBullitt on Sep 22^nd, 2002, 6:17am)

Title: I hate my painfree days
Post by LTBullitt on Sep 22^nd, 2002, 6:17am

No attacks at yesterday and I managed to sleep for the first time in about 7-8 weeks. It's only a curse, a sham, a false hope.
Rather I had never had the day nor the sleep. It only weakness my defences as it did today. Just bring the #!@# pain!
The worst part really is now I'm angry with Charlie here and it's through no fault of his own, quite unjustified I will admit.
This said I'm still cursing him.
I cannot do the KIP scale, I just don't understand it b/c my headaches all seem for the most part the same in pain levels.
That said, it was gd brutal and the pain was as insane as always.
So I be a pacing, a slamming, a punching, ect ect,ect *Yul* in the King And I again.
And my mind, this mind, this messed up head of mine has to fixate on something during every attack. Often as mundane as a scene from a move, a lyric, over and over the whole attack.
But today Charlie from the board leaps into my head and sort of in a literal fashion as I am picturing him doing jumping jacks. As I've told him I liked his name b/c it reminds me of Chaolin. So what I am seeing is "The Little Tramp" with a CH doing these blasted jumping jacks.
Then it happens, I laugh, out loud no less! And KIP or no KIP I find a new level of pain b/c of this.
Now maybe you shake your legs whick is good. Thrashing around, good, punching good. Laughter, NOT good. If you haven't done this I don't suggest it.
And what kind of deranged person laughs during a CH attack anyways? What the hell is wrong with me??????
If I was laughing at Charlie being in pain then I guess I deserved it.
I thought I had point to this post but if you have read any of mine you will no I never do and I have proven it once again.
Except maybe laughter is NOT the best medicine, at least not in this case.

Title: Re: I hate my painfree days
Post by Karla on Sep 22^nd, 2002, 10:35am

I hate my pain free days also. I find them only to tease, taunt, and remind me of what I am missing in life. I think painfree days are a cruel joke. Yet at the same time I also treasure them. I hope you get some peace soon.

Karla

Title: Re: I hate my painfree days
Post by Jasmyn on Sep 22^nd, 2002, 2:08pm

LT, real funny imagery of Charlie. I will also laugh through an attack if my mind could conjure it up at that stage! ;D

But thanx for the warning, I'll put THAT image out of my mind with the next episode, I don't want to hurt more!!!

Title: Re: I hate my painfree days
Post by jonny on Sep 22^nd, 2002, 2:35pm

Charlie hasent had a HA in over a decade so keep laughing.

........................jonny

Title: Re: I hate my painfree days
Post by Night_Owl on Sep 22^nd, 2002, 2:38pm

Haven't had a pain free day in a couple years, but when I have a kip 1 or 2 people tend to think I am on drugs or have won the lottery! I don't know, I guess because my personality is so different when I am not in pain that when I am in pain people assume that is how I always am. When I hit certain pain levels I tend to get very creative, that is the time that my sketch pad opens up. I wake up and look at it in the morining, and can't believe that I could draw that well under that kind of intense pain. Just make use of your pain free days. If not, can I have em? lol.

Night_Owl

Title: Re: I hate my painfree days
Post by LTBullitt on Sep 22^nd, 2002, 3:37pm

yea, I read that about the dude
all my hopes and faith are tied in with Charlie beating this thing
screw the MDs and reseach, I see hope when I think of him

Whoever wants my painfree days can take them but they wont add up to much :)

Title: Re: I hate my painfree days
Post by 2late on Sep 22^nd, 2002, 5:48pm

I love every PF minuite!!! tease me with it, i don't care, i'll take it. if you hate it send it my way!!!! ;D ...........2late

Title: Re: I hate my painfree days
Post by Charlie on Sep 22^nd, 2002, 8:38pm

Always skun my fingers on the ceiling doing Jumping Jacks in the house. Too fucking dumb to go outside or in the gym. Had a pogo stick in the kitchen, that hurt too, and I had to stay away from the cellar stairs.

I was so bandaged up as a kid, I looked like Lon Chaney.

I wish I knew why I'm so lucky with CH. It's a puzzlement.

Hope you all get some shuteye

Charlie

Title: Re: I hate my painfree days
Post by echo on Sep 23^rd, 2002, 8:43am

Love the PF times, but in the back of my mind I always wonder when the SOB will drop in for a visit.

Title: Re: I hate my painfree days
Post by nancyc on Sep 23^rd, 2002, 10:00am

I love the pain free days..gives me time to reorganize my attack against the beast...let's me get alitle sleep...anything to restore my strength... ;Dnancyc

Title: Re: I hate my painfree days
Post by 9erfan on Sep 23^rd, 2002, 11:39am

I love the painfree times!! Although, it rarely happens and when it does sometimes it takes me a few hours to realize I"m NOT having a headache because I'm so use to ALWAYS being in pain (everyday since Feb, 2001). A couple of months ago I had 15 hours painfree! Woohoo!! And last week on Tuesday, I had the whole afternoon painfree. My department must have thought I had lost my mind. I came out of my office all loud and smiley saying "I am currently not having any pain so watch out because the old Virginia is back in action!". I just get goofy & loud & laugh A LOT!! ;D ;D Doesn't last for long, so I have to cherish it!
Miserable when they come back again, of course!

Title: Re: I hate my painfree days
Post by Slammy on Sep 23^rd, 2002, 11:47am

Hmmmm...... I still can't imagine how chronics manage.. :-[

As for my pain-free days... I would imagine they are like non-CH peoples....I don't hink of the beast at all....except in here.. :)

I don't ever know when he is going to return... he just does... I never know when he is going to leave.... he just does...... and I don't think about my pain free days.... they just are....

Slammy 8)

Title: Re: I hate my painfree days
Post by oringkid on Sep 24^th, 2002, 12:20pm

I am the same way Slammy.

Sherry