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Title: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by kaptex on Sep 19th, 2002, 3:58pm Even though I have shown him all the info I can and taken him with me to the Docs office he still says it must be because I am about 30 pounds overweight. I went from 390lbs (I am 5' 11") to 195lbs in the last 8 years. If my weight were the problem you would think my headaches would have gotten better as I lost weight but instead they have gotten worse. This last cycle has run for 4 years and still counting (chronic sufferer). He says he's tired of me taking all these drugs and costing him all this money even though we have insurance through his work. He says if I wanted to I could make the headaches go away but that I don't because I like the attention. :'( I know how hard it is to convince other people that there is a real problem but I was just wondering if there is anyone else out there who has had this type of problem with their spouse? He has never acted like this about anything in our 17-year marriage except about my weight. Which he was right about. He admitted it wasn't all my fault that I got that way (2 bedridden pregnancies added 150lbs to my 160lbs, I added the rest ) but it was my fault that it took me so long to lose it. :-[ Depression about these headaches and being overweight can be a vicious circle. If someone might give me some advice on how to get through to him, it would be greatly appreciated Thanks, Kimberly |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by Melissa on Sep 19th, 2002, 4:56pm Wow, I'm not sure what to tell you Kimberly. Sounds like your hubby is being a little close-minded :-/ Honey, if weight were the cause of clusters, I'd be having them all the time! I am episodic though...so obviously that can't be it. Plus, there are thin men and women with clusters also. Just show him Bob P's picture page here--> http://www.pahlow.net/ch/clusterheads.htm BTW, it is ALWAYS easier to gain weight, than to lose it. Don't be so hard on yourself, and don't take what your husband says too seriously. That (as you've experienced) can lead to a vicious cycle of depression. Attitude is Everything! You have to be comfortable and happy with yourself, or you'll always feel this way. You can email me too if you ever want to talk!! Take care and good luck! :)Mel |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by steColor on Sep 19th, 2002, 5:19pm Hi Kaptex, I would be a good example for the weight issue. I am 6'2" weigh-in at approx. 185 soaking wet and with a pocket full of change. Obviously weight has NOTHING to do with it! Nor is just "making them go away" the answer. I WISH. The LAST thing I want during an attack is attention. But Congrats on your wieght loss tho :) I know it is difficult to explain to someone the pain experienced with this stuff. Keep showing him the site. Good Luck STEC |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by kristi on Sep 19th, 2002, 5:36pm Don't mean to offend, but have you ever thought of telling him to fuck off?! I mean, life is hard enough, with or without clusters, without having the people who are supposed to love us and support us being the ones who are down on us the most. By the way, I am a supporter, not a clusterhead. And I would never consider getting down on my husband about his headaches, or ANYTHING else for that matter, in such an abusive manner. That is NOT what love is. You know the expression..."with friends like that, who needs enemies...." Also, hubby is another example......episodic sufferer, 6'2", 185 pounds. If you need support, I am always here to help in anyway I can. Good luck! K |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by jonny on Sep 19th, 2002, 5:56pm Oooooooh, Kristi!!! I was going to post that but backed off (did I say that?) Although I would have said it ten words with alot more swears......LOL You go, Chick .......................jonny |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by 2late on Sep 19th, 2002, 6:07pm you're husband's actin' like a creep! tell him to get hs shit together & support you, marrige is for better or for worse. my wife doesn't know what i feel but she listens to me, and that's the best support she can give. i feel for ya' good luck! .........2late |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by 9erfan on Sep 19th, 2002, 7:19pm Kimberly, Can you tell your husband to kiss my big white ass please??? I'm sorry, I'm sure you love him and everything but the things that he is telling you are completely asinine!! NOBODY would ever want to keep these headaches just to get attention! That is unbelievable! You need your loved ones to support you NOT bring you down! As far as the weight goes, I was skinny when these things first started 17 years ago. Now, I'm very large! After being on prednisone for a year & 1/2 (gained 60 pounds that time) then becoming chronic has basically done me in. Everytime I try to start any type of exercise program and I'm doing well, I get hit really bad and can no longer function and wind up being sedentary for weeks at a time! Back to your husband, I don't know what to tell you about him. Maybe he should see a therapist or something if he can't give his wife the support she needs. Do you have any other family members or friends who you can go to for support? Of course, you always have this board to come to and everyone here is extremely supportive. I mean I'm sure you know how these headaches can affect you mentally as well as physically....you need people in your life who can bring you UP! ;D I would love to talk to you offline about your weight loss and how you were able to do it. I really admire the fact that you were able to lose that much weight! That is truly awesome! Especially while you were dealing with the beast! I would be interested to know how you did it. Please email me offline. You can email me when you need a friend to talk to anytime... I hope I don't live close to you because I might have to come over & kick your husband's ass!! >:( >:( Virginia |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by kristi on Sep 19th, 2002, 7:34pm Jonny, LMAO - I think that's the first time I've ever seen you back off anything!! Glad I was there to fill in though ;D . Someone has to do it, might as well be me! (p.s. it was great to meet you in person in Vancouver :D) Kimberly, Virginia said it best..."you need people in your life to bring you up..." When our supposed "loved ones" are the ones who are bringing us down, I have to wonder where the love is. You deserve better! PFDAN! K |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by jonny on Sep 19th, 2002, 7:47pm That was the first time in three years I backed off of anything, Kristi Just thought my harshness might make Kim feel worse than good (Christ!!!im almost human, yipppeee!!) But I will go over with Virginia and kick some ass!!!! ....................jonny |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by kristi on Sep 19th, 2002, 7:52pm on 09/19/02 at 19:47:14, jonny wrote:
Just don't make a habit of it okay, those of us around here who aren't used to it might have a heart attack or something! ;D ;D ;D ;D |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by M.R. on Sep 19th, 2002, 7:55pm I'll be the bastard if no else will. Shoot him in the kneecap, toss him in front of a semi, and call it good. As I have no one to support me thru my cycles, the first one that wants to give me a rash of sh*t during one gets slaped. My opinion only. |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by 2late on Sep 19th, 2002, 8:08pm see jonny, we'll pick up the slack bro' ;D .........2late |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by Ree on Sep 19th, 2002, 8:11pm I got the funniest joke today it said " What do you do if you see your husband rolling around on the floor in pain ... the answer was... Shoot him again" and then the next joke was How do you know a man is "well hung" the answer was ... When you cant fit your finger between the noose and his neck... I think I should send you those jokes... just to lighten your emotional load a little... I have in the past been abused emotionally as well as physically... You are as great as you want to be. He tries to bring you down because the wonderful "LIGHT" inside you must threaten HIM in some way... He is trying to keep you DOWN probably so you will think no one else will want you... Don't be afraid... Someone else will always be there for you as long as you believe that you are good, and KNOW IT.... love to you Im thinking about you Ree |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by M.R. on Sep 19th, 2002, 8:19pm Sorry if I seemed a little harsh, but I have no time in my life for shallow people like that. The weight issue is betwen you and him, but I have a hard time dealing with people that want to blame clusters on what ever they want. Still my opinion only. |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by Jabeen on Sep 19th, 2002, 8:38pm This is some more of the same-but I find it hard to believe that your husband can be so stupid. There are certainly a variety of sizes and shapes on this board to prove the weight theory doesn't fly...if only it was that simple. :o I am thankful my husband is always supportive-but can not relate to the amount of pain...it is hard to explain to someone that hasn't experienced it. I know you said you have given him a lot to read, but theres a lot in this site and OUCH-maybe it's not too late- Jabeen :) :) :) |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by don on Sep 19th, 2002, 10:03pm Quote:
Closeminded? Nah! If it walks like a duck and quack likes a duck, it must be a DICKHEAD Sorry kaptex but I couldn't hold that one back. |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by Charlie on Sep 19th, 2002, 11:12pm We tend to cut through the crap here Kimberly....Still he's behaving like a jerk. When one can't come up with an answer, it's easy to blame the victim. Happens all the time, but tell him to get his fecal residue together. Charlie |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by kaptex on Sep 20th, 2002, 12:44am I believe I have found a part of the problem: although if it is the entire problem I don't know for sure yet. Hubby has been talking to someone at work who has a family member who "supposedly" fooled doctors into thinking they had cluster headaches just to get some of the prescription drugs and for the attention he got from his friends & everyone in his family. But he is an avid drug user, prescription and otherwise. At this point I don’t know if I believe this story or not. :-/ I again pulled up information from this site and had him read it, although he didn't want to at first. I asked him if he thought that during the times he has seen me during one of my attacks, if he REALLY thought that I could fake something that horrendous. I had him read the opening page of this site and asked if he thought all the people on this site would waste their time faking something like this. I told him maybe a few would, but this many? Then I showed him the OUCH site and the different chapters it has around the world. I finally told him that if he truly believed that I would stoop so low as to fake something just for attention then after 17 years of being married, he didn’t know me very well and we needed to think about where this marriage was going in the future. Scared the heck out of me but I refuse to live like that. I read all of the responses I got to my post and cried because of all the support and understanding I got from total strangers that I should have gotten from him. :'( He just never said much about how he felt and he pretty much didn’t lift a finger to help as far as routine tasks go. I still had to pick the kids up from school, run errands, get someone else to take me to the ER, and so on. (One time in the middle of a bad visit, kip 9 – lasting for more than 3 hours, I had to drive to the movies to pick up my son and his girlfriend, I could barely see and almost didn’t make it there. My son had to drive from there to her house, and then home. We were teaching him to drive at the time and I could barely think to instruct him on what to do. But it was better than me driving). I had to listen to hubby tell me that he wouldn’t help me until I helped myself and lost my weight. (I did) I was in a car accident before I met him and injured my neck. He thinks that the weight put a strain on my neck muscles and caused my clusters. I tried to tell him that I had clusters before the accident and before I gained the weight but it didn’t do any good. I only have 30lbs more to lose so that shouldn't be an issue anyway. I think I might have made some progress tonight though. He actually apologized for not taking this thing seriously. He made the mistake that most people make in that they relate it to a regular headache, thinking I should be able to get by on a couple of Advil. You all are wonderful! Can I live here!! :D I'll keep you all posted. (no pun intended) I love ALL of the advice!! (The good, bad, and the ugly) ;) Thanks......Kimberly (Sorry I was so long winded) |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by Drk^Angel on Sep 20th, 2002, 12:56am Good to hear that you may be making some progress with your husband. It's got to be horrible when the person who's supposed to love you just refuses to try to understand. It seems to me as though he's upset about the whole weight thing, and is trying to use your clusters to force you to lose the weight. I also think he may be upset that he's not getting the attention, and that's the true reason why he claimed you fake the pain for attention. I really hope that he is coming around to try to understand, because with these things, the last thing you need is a spouse not only not willing to support you with them, but also trying to blame it all on you. Good luck! PFDAN................................. Drk^Angel |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by LTBullitt on Sep 20th, 2002, 7:28am no, thats no good at all thats just, no! Kristi said it all id go with her idea |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by Charlie on Sep 20th, 2002, 7:38am Tell your husband that cluster headaches have zero relationship to migraines, tension, or other headaches. The term "cluster "headaches" is a terrible misnomer. Try to think of them as a vascular syndrome which produces incredible and disabling pain. There isn't a lot of evidence that head trauma causes them and being overweight almost certainly has nothing to do with them either. They are uncommon but so bad that sufferers are at a loss to make others know the level of agony produced by this horror. Remember: They are not headaches other than being in the head. Also, the posters here are on the level. If they found us, they either have this thing or are a supporter. No one can fake this with us for any length of time. Take care and keep up the good fight. Charlie |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by Ree on Sep 20th, 2002, 8:10am Welcome... YOU can live here if ya want... Kimberley and keep coming we will always be here for you... I know I will be here until they find a cure or the bomb drops... Have a wonderful day... you sound like a great ... strong...mom and wife... He is lucky to have you... |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by Melissa on Sep 20th, 2002, 8:32am on 09/19/02 at 22:03:58, don wrote:
Don! Are you picking on my choice of words? Does the fact that I seem too nice, BOTHER you? If I wasn't so charming, do you think I'd be incarcerated? Don... does it frighten you to think of what it would be like, if you were ever to get me pissed? ::) Have a nice day, and I know where you live ;D love, :)Mel |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by stevek on Sep 20th, 2002, 10:13am Kimberly I have a wife who does believe CHs are real but she also believes that if I really wanted to stop them I could. When a cycle gets bad, this is real hard to take. Like I would really rather go through a CH than cook a dinner or drive a kid to soccer. Let me see, watch my daughter play soccer, or scream in pain for an hour, I think I’ll take the pain, yea right. As mad as I get at the lack of understanding, I also see how hard it is to comprehend how I can go from severe pain to no pain in such a short period of time. CHs are very bizarre. That said I still agree with Kristi, tell him to Fuck Off! One of the only times I told my wife this was when I was getting hit for the third time in a day, and she informed that I had done nothing all day but have headaches. My tolerance for that BS went to zero that day. I wish you luck Kimberly and I hope your husband will understand. Take care, SteveK |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by NancyMcFree on Sep 20th, 2002, 10:45am A good support system is essential to getting through a cycle. I thank God that my husband supports me and understands how painful these attacks can be. I do have family members that just don't get it which really hurts. They think it is all in your head (I say, yea, it is .. but only HALF my head). My husband has told me, "anyone who has never seen me in the middle of the night dancing with death just woulnd't have a clue". Perhaps the next time you get hit, rather than pounding your head against a wall, you should pound it against his scull. While your pain might diminish ...... he might get the message !!!!!!!!!! Your weight has nothing to do with this disease. Look at the pictures from the conference ....... all shapes and sizes !!!!!! And having headaches to gain attention ??? Like I said ...... slam your head up against his the next time you get hit ..... then tell him, "oh honey ..... does that get your attention?????" |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by catlind on Sep 20th, 2002, 11:24am Kimberly, I am so very sorry that you have to deal with both the beast of clusters and the beast of husbands. You might want to let him know that narcotics/pain meds are not the treatment of choice for CH. In fact, they don't do much good at all. They won't abort the headache, and generally won't take the pain away completely, but at best can take the edge off. Pain meds are something to use as a very last resort if none of the other preventatives and abortives work. I think many on this board will back that up 100%. Your best bet is to get some Oxygen from your doctor, that is one of the best abortives available in my opinion. Do a search on the site for threads regarding narcotics and CH and show them to your husband, so he can read for himself that pain meds are RARELY used to treat CH's. Some of use them because we can't use other abortives or preventatives, but it's a very difficult line to walk when you have to deal with rebound headaches on top of CH's. Check out the medications portion of the site and you will find a wealth of information through searching the archives as well. After he reads that CH rarely to never responds to pain meds, perhaps he will adjust his thinking on drug seeking behaviour. Cat |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by don on Sep 20th, 2002, 12:53pm Dearest Mel, What frightens me is that you ARE incarcerated. AGAIN! Saw you on the FBI Files just the other night on cable. What was it this time Mel? ? Morals Charges AGAIN? Come to think of it, I like Morals Charges. You know where I live. Come visit. SMMOOOOOOCH ! |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by kaptex on Sep 20th, 2002, 2:06pm Catlind, I have been on O2 for a while now and about 6 months ago finally got a portable that I could take to school. (Should have seen me trying to lug the bigger tank around the halls, even with wheels it was a pain, ::) but it was that or risk losing my associates degree). From recent comments that I have read here I am going to do some more reading about it though and talk to my neurologist. It has never worked to totally abort one of the bad ones but usually takes the edge off and most times it will push it back to a tolerable level: although, I have had it do absolutely nothing. But I think after what I have seen here I might be on too low of a dosage, 2-lpm for 15 minutes. Does that sound low to anyone? And I have already been through the narcotics thing with him. I carry hydrocodone 10/500 and zanaflex 4mg (muscle relaxer because I tense up and my neck bothers me sometimes when I get a CH because of the accident) just in case. But I hate taking it because it makes me fuzzy headed and I have enough stuff going on in my head at the time that I don’t want more. Plus if I am out somewhere and alone I can’t take it anyway cuz I can’t drive after it starts to work cuz of the fuzzy headedness. I sat him down just about an hour ago when he came home for lunch and let him read all of the responses I got. I think he had another wake-up call. He couldn’t believe that total strangers would come forward with their support like they have. But he wasn’t happy when he went back to work. I think it was from not being happy with himself. Not a total breakthrough but a start. I’ll keep my fingers crossed. Thanks everyone. Your support means a great deal to me! :) Wishing everyone PFDAN, Kimberly |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by catlind on Sep 20th, 2002, 2:10pm Kimberly, That is definitely too low of a dose for the O2. You need a min. of 8-10lpm....and I if you can, get a regulator that will give you up to 15lpm. When a real bad one hits, 15lpm can make all the difference in the world. I'm glad you are getting somewhere with your hubby, it's hard enough to deal with the beast let alone have it blamed on you by the person who is supposed to be there for you for better or worse. Cat |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by Ted on Sep 20th, 2002, 2:25pm Yup. 2 l p/m is way too low. Another thing. If that's what you've had it set at you've either suffocated or are using the nose cannules. You need to get a NON-rebreather mask to ensure the O2 intake is realtively 100%. That's almost as important as high enough liter flow. |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by kaptex on Sep 20th, 2002, 2:54pm Well, since I am still here I guess we can assume that I didn't suffocate. :D I have an appointment on the 2nd of October so I'll take all of this info to my doc. She loves getting file folders and computer discs full of new stuff from me! ;D Thanks! Wishing everyone PFDAN, Kimberly |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by 2late on Sep 20th, 2002, 6:52pm 15 lpm for 15 mins. my secret formula ;) ..........2late |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by catlind on Sep 20th, 2002, 6:57pm Kimberly, go to this link and read Jonny's tips for Oxygen. Very good info there http://www.clusterheadaches.com/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi?board=general;action=display;num=1031272858;start=12 Cat |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by kaptex on Sep 20th, 2002, 7:03pm No wonder it isn't helping me the way it should be! It's like I'm breathing almost regular air instead of O2. Thanks for the info cat. :) I feel I am still kind of a newbie when it comes to O2. I just did what the doc told me to do and since it didn't work very well I didn't bother using it a lot. But I'm going to give her some updated information and an address to this site. She needs to take a look for herself. Kimberly |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by kristi on Sep 20th, 2002, 7:12pm Kimberly, You go girl! Stand up to that husband of yours and make him treat you and SUPPORT you like you deserve. And stand up to the beast with the same force - keep reading about the O2 and the meds and then educate your doctor and find the right solution for controlling the beast as much as is humanly possible! I wish you all the luck in the world! But you won't need it - any one who can lose 195 pounds, all while battling the beast and a beastie husband.....well, has *hostas* made of iron. ;D ;D Much love, Kristi |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by jonny on Sep 20th, 2002, 7:54pm Kim, After 14 yrs chronic with no meds I was diagnosed and given 02, instructions were to turn it on and breath...Thats it!!!! no, lpms, no right mask, no when to start using it. I used it for hangovers for awhile and gave the damn 5 foot bottle back. When I washed up on CH.COM shores 3 yrs ago I was convinced by the 02 gurus on this site to give it another try, they taught me what LPM, right mask, when to get on it, to add a water bubbler, to cut the strap off the mask incase I fell asleep. Guess what? 02 killed 32 straight HA's within 12 mins and still kills them in that time. toughest ones are when you wake from a sound sleep. My fingers are tiered....LOL .........................jonny |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by pjbgravely on Sep 20th, 2002, 8:07pm Hey guys, everyone has stayed on the thread except Don, Kimberly, I weigh 155 lb's at 6'. Did your weight lose cause a sooner or longer cycle? |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by don on Sep 21st, 2002, 1:10pm And your problem with that is what PJ ? |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by pjbgravely on Sep 21st, 2002, 5:29pm No problem Don, I forgot to say what is wrong with everyone? |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by don on Sep 21st, 2002, 6:28pm Oh, sorry. :-/ |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by catlind on Sep 21st, 2002, 6:41pm Foiled again eh Don? LOL (no pun intended ;) ) btw...where's my tfh??? LOL Cat |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by don on Sep 21st, 2002, 6:48pm Holy Moley ! PJs icon ust be a long lost relative of StFud ! Wouldn't want to be at that family reunion. |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by jonny on Sep 21st, 2002, 7:16pm Don, He slapped your chapped ass.......LOL If I was you I would blind side him but im not you.....Thank god....LOL Theres one thing good about running away......you live to fight another day. Im in no way saying thats what your doing its just what my grand father (4' 6") use to say ;D LMMFAO........just bustin balls, Bro ..........................jonny |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by Charlie on Sep 21st, 2002, 7:48pm Kimberly: these posts illustrate the effect of Ch on minds that have been terribly wasted. ;D ::) Charlie 8) http://www.headachesupportgroups.com/echat43/help.gif |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by don on Sep 21st, 2002, 8:42pm MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM! CROW! I love crow. Taste like chicken. |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by kaptex on Sep 22nd, 2002, 3:41am pj, Sorry it took me so long to answer. I had to reformat my computer today and take my 17-year-old son to get his girlfriend's mum corsage for homecoming next week. Makes me wish I lived up north! :D My weight loss didn't cause any changes in my cycles.:(They were still almost every day, 2 or 3 times a day, and then a 3 to10 day break before it would start all over again. Although I pretty much always have a shadow 24X7, it just varies in intensity throughout the day: nothing seems to want to work to get rid of it so far. Wishing everyone PFDAN, Kimberly |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by kaptex on Sep 22nd, 2002, 3:50am You don't have to explain the posts Charlie. I totally understand. :D I know all about what happens to a wasted CH mind. Between the headaches and the meds I pretty much have no memory left. It's a wonder I have made it through school. Only 2 more weeks to go. Don't know how the heck I'm going to get a job after that but I'll deal with that later. One thing at a time!! :) Kimberly |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by williamsmh on Sep 22nd, 2002, 7:55am Kimberly, I'm a little late jumping in here... but I haven't been on for a month or so.... Been really busy. But.... I just have to add my 2 cents. I'm sorry but your husband has no right to dog you about your weight or the clusters. Love is about acceptance and caring not ridicule. It's great you lost weight - for yourself!!! I'm chronic and had a mother-in-law who thought my clusters were bull. I know how hard it is to function and much it hurts when someone doesn't even try to understand. I'm not telling you to leave your husband (I would never ever do that), but he needs to get a grip.... He's not helping anyone with his attitude. Understanding won't help the clusters, but it will help you get through them. I finally found something that is helping my clusters - Sansert. It has lots & lots of side effects but it is the only thing (other than prednisone) that has ever stopped them. I'm now almost 8 weeks pfdn. Good Luck! Mark |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by kaptex on Sep 22nd, 2002, 11:13pm Mark, It's never too late. And thanks to you and everyone else who congratulated me on my on-going weight loss. I know it doesn't sound like it but my husband is usually very supportive in just about everything I do. I wouldn't still be married to him after 17 years if he was a total creep. But the headache thing is something that just recently came to a head. (No pun intended!) :D I have put up with his growing indifference for the last couple of years and I guess I just got tired of it. As Kristi said, life is hard enough to deal with while enduring a CH without having to deal with his lack of compassion, sympathy, and understanding. I think I have made a little progress with him since my first post. I showed him quite a bit of information from this site and from the OUCH site, then I made him look at all of the replys I had gotten as of noon on Friday. I told him that it was very sad that I had gotten more support in just a couple of days from total strangers than I had gotten from him in 17 years. He wasn't very happy and I could tell he wasn't happy with himself, as well as me for pointing out his flaw. ::) I've had a pretty rough couple of days and had a bad one last night, kip 10. Today his Mom and Dad were coming over to go fishing and have dinner. I finally got some relief about 5 am and fell asleep propped up on pillows around 6 am. When I woke up at noon to straighten up around the house, it was already done. My husband and 2 teenage boys had cleaned the entire house. :o I'm not going to get my hopes up too far. But it's a step in the right direction at least. Keep your fingers crossed! Wishing everyone PFDAN, Kimberly |
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Title: Re: My husband says it must be my fault! Post by Linda_Howell on Sep 22nd, 2002, 11:43pm Hey Kimberly !!!! I just now saw this post of yours....I've got to say this. I agree with Kristi's first post as well as Jonny's and Don's and Charlies..Girl ,this is NOT your fault and maybe you need to re-think some things here. E-mail me anytime if you want to talk...Linda Howell |
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