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        New Message Board Archives >> 2002 Posts >> Suicidal??? Post here, the rest of you get out 
        
(Message started by: NancyMcFree on Sep 15^th, 2002, 9:59pm)

Title: Suicidal??? Post here, the rest of you get out
Post by NancyMcFree on Sep 15^th, 2002, 9:59pm

Suicide theats are not funny. The topic is not funny. The responses are not funny If you are seriously considering suicide please read the message I already posted:

My brother-in-law committed suicide 17 years ago. When he did that it left my husband so devistated that he himself did not want to go on. His family has mourned for years the fact that they never saw the signs and got him some help.

We raised my brother-in-laws daughter for him. To this day, while she loves us like a mom and dad she still wonders why her mother never wanted her (she is a drug addict) and why her father left her.

To this day, we think of him and still cry.

While you may think that no one cares ... I can guarantee you that people do. I have never met you and am crying at your post. Each of us has something to offer in this life. Don't cut yours short and not meet the challenges that God had planned for you.

Turn to your family, turn to your friends, turn to a councelor ... but turn to someone. Your life does make a difference in this world.

Read the rest of the messages from the survivors as well..... it tells a story of "pain left behind".

Please do not post notes about suicide .. we have a lot of members who have lost family and friends due to suicide. If you are considering it yourself .... post ... cause we have something to tell you. If you are not considering it yourself .... don't even post about it. This is not a joke ... it's way to real for way to many members.

Title: Re: Suicidal??? Post here, the rest of you get out
Post by Slydog on Sep 15^th, 2002, 10:16pm

Well said Nancy...... I think many of us who truly suffer from CH have maybe had thoughts about it but....Not Seriously. I agree Don't joke about it. We all say why me and how can I get away from the Demon but we are stronger people than that....after all alot of people on here have dealt with the Demon for years. If someone on here is truley to that point I would give whatever help I could but to many people crying wolf ruins it for everyone else. Slydog

Title: Re: Suicidal??? Post here, the rest of you get out
Post by LTBulllitt on Sep 16^th, 2002, 2:59am

It'd hard for me to put any thoughts into a normal perspective. I truly want to die and but lack the determination and resolve. Seem to to to afraid of a worse fate in another life, a worse kind of pain. So these genetic spiritual beliefs keep me in cont battle with myself.
Alot of my problem could be that I have never grieved death and cannot feel it or see it through anothers eyes with any sadness.
When my friend Peter shot himself and I heard the news I was jealous and later when alone I looked up at the sky at night and said "you lucky bastard" and smiled for him. Myself I see going to a hell, not him, just a paradise. Peter was to sweet a soul for anything else.
I've always had a few friends but we were so close from the first day we met, and I know now alot was b/c we shared such a hatred for life as I felt others didn't. At least to this degree. Mine was always there but more dormant until CH, his, people like to say he suffered from depression now that he's gone they are all psychiatrists.

Another problem is knowing that others have it worse in life. That doesn't make an arguement for life any better in my opinion. Goes further to my beliefs we are in a pergatory, a hell, a nitemare on this little earth.
I dream of painfree existence, I dream of angels, I dream no gender, no race, no hate. Only angels, souls of love.
So back and forth the merry go round, dreams of paradise, dreams of punishment.
The fact I'm still alive I think indicates I'm more afraid of a horrible afterlife. And after all this time, I feel living must be my destiny.
Don't get me wrong I hate being here but I cannot seem to take proper steps to insure a way out.
So as long as no bravey is thought on my part for living b/c it's just the opposite.

Title: Re: Suicidal??? Post here, the rest of you get out
Post by Svenn on Sep 16^th, 2002, 3:33am

NancyMcFree my friend

Guess we all agree that suicide is NOT the answer to our problem.
I have to answer you because i`ve been there and tried it.To be honest tried it twice.
We just has to agree that 1 clusterhead can take that much pain before going over the edge.
We also agree that there at lot of question from the family after.
Thats why i think we all has to be on the "alert"if we feel that some of us is "tipping"over If i remember correct we has had a few exaple on that earlyer.
A little story about my last attempt"If you don`t mind"
As some of you know i had a heartattack last november.
Had ALL the classical signals.
But what i did was that i was refusing my darling Wife to call the ER for 2 days.Not tell her anything whats going on.
Just waiting for the heartattack to knock me out permanently.
After i woke up i 100% understand what a stupid IDIOT i was ,when i could let my family go trough that ordeal.
Just believe me that i will NEVER forgive me for that stupid mistake.Was just thinking about my self that time.
Not 1 single though about my wife or my children.
You can call me a IDIOT for that.
It was selfish "or what you call it"
When i woke up at the ER i saw my wife and my sons afraid faces and finally understand whats importent in life.
Some of you might also call me a coward,but i dont wont to use that word on this subject.We just has to remember that we can deal with that much pain before going over "the edge"Some of us can deal with more pain then another.Don`t have a answer on that.But thats the way it is as i see it.
Finally i`ll have to say that after my incident i feel honoured and dedicated to help fellow clusterheads.If you feel like mailing me my mailadress is svenn@norges.net

PS/ the heartattack was familyrelated not medicalrelated"imitrex"

Take care friend

Your friend in Norway

Svenn

Title: Re: Suicidal??? Post here, the rest of you get out
Post by NancyMcFree on Sep 16^th, 2002, 8:03am

Ah, Svenn .... I do believe someone was watching over you during your heart attack. You came through it and .... were given relief for your clusters. God does intervene sometimes and gives us the relief we need.

Andrew, read your private messages .... in the upper right hand corner there is a note that says "LTBULLIT you have 1 new message" Click on it.

PFDAN's to all.

Title: Re: Suicidal??? Post here, the rest of you get out
Post by echo on Sep 16^th, 2002, 8:33am

Agree it's not the way to go. Hard on the ones you leave behind.
Have had one in my family and three among my friends.
Thought of it years ago before I found the relief and support I needed at the time.

Title: Re: Suicidal??? Post here, the rest of you get out
Post by Liz on Sep 16^th, 2002, 10:40am

Sucidial thoughts are definetly not to be scoffed at, belittled or ignored. Nancy I can also say I have had patients so good at hiding their intentions that no family member, friend or health care professional saw the the "act in the making" taking place. It is NOT TRUE that there is always clue howevery subtle, and is it true that if someone is intent on suicide they will find a way.

I have had suicidal thoughts more than once. They are strongest for me after multiple cluster attacts over multiple nights. leaving me exhausted from pain and sleep deprivation. I feel helpless and hopeless, tho in reality I am neither. It is during those times I try hard to remember and believe a statement a friend shared with me. After a suicide attempt of her own, she learned and grasped this statement "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem". I couple that statement with the knowledge that I have clusterheads who understand the sucidial thoughts, won't put me down because "I SHOULD ME STRONG", .
I don't post very often but the knowledge that I am not in this alone, means the world to me.

thanks for your message.
Liz

Title: Re: Suicidal??? Post here, the rest of you get out
Post by 2late on Sep 16^th, 2002, 10:56am

well put nanc, nuff said ...........2late

Title: Re: Suicidal??? Post here, the rest of you get out
Post by don on Sep 16^th, 2002, 3:20pm

Well put NancyMcFree ! Bravo!

Crying is healing. Hope the tears are no longer from guilt.

I would be a little more cautious about telling people to get out unless you have been paying the fee for the this site.

Title: Re: Suicidal??? Post here, the rest of you get out
Post by Svenn on Sep 16^th, 2002, 4:56pm

How shall i start this?
My very personal thought with people that thinking,talking about suicidal:Im shure i need some help to get this very importent subject right.Ask for forgivnes if i write anything wrong.

My personal oppinion is that those that "almost always"talk about doing it is mostely asking for help BEFORE they loosing it.Of course thats very importent to give them a hand and support to.Let there be no question about that.
This is in no way ment as a provocation,but only my experience

The maijor problems in general is those poor people that never give a signal what to expect.Those are REALLY dangerous for themself.

Any advice on that?

and finaly.why i reacted in the way i did to uikid whas not that he would help,but the words he choose.Hope everybody can forgive mee for that.

as a clusterhead we have to from time to time deal with this problem.That why its so importent we are able to stick together.

Your friend in Norway

Svenn

Title: Re: Suicidal??? Post here, the rest of you get out
Post by Slammy on Sep 16^th, 2002, 6:11pm

I feel another Slammy rant coming on! >:(

I know I was away during the weekend... but did I miss something? Did we become a suicide prevention hot-line?

That's a dicy subject at best....and one to stay as far away as possible. I mean, how do you respond to it?

Tons of us have felt pain so bad that the thought of offing ourselves to rid the pain has crossed our minds from time to time.... How close is anyone to actually do it is personal to the individual....but, I tell you this... if my depression reach the point of actual planning... this would be the last place I would go to get help. Don't get me wrong... I love you guys! ;D But here's why....

IT'S THE FUCKING INTERNET!!

There are friendships and relationships that go beyond this website....and that's different, and I am sure that discussion would occur over the phone or face to face, as opposed to a public post!

Now, if you want a philosophical debate over suicide.. then that goes along with religious and political debates... There are better places to discuss those topics, other than here.....

I mean.. the topic of this thread is bizarre! "Suicidal?? Post here, the rest of you get out" ????

what does that mean??? If I post that I'm suicidal, then I'll feel better getting it off my chest? IS someone trained here to say the "magic words" to make me feel better? GIVE ME A BREAK!

Slammy 8)

Title: Re: Suicidal??? Post here, the rest of you get out
Post by Jill on Sep 16^th, 2002, 6:53pm

Hey...I know that I have not been on in a while, but things have not been great at all or good for that matter. Sorry!
I am not sure what I am trying to say, but I have contiplated it before though I have never told anyone before. The times have only come when I am intense pain and because I do not know any other way out. I do think about it on a daily basis and am not depressed but sometimes when you are in chronic pain, the world is so lonely and it seems that no one understands. I hope that this does not sound too depressing or sad but it is life.
I do not really want to hurt myself because I do want to experience my older years and I do have a family and friends. I know that I am not alone but sometimes that is hard to see. I have now begun to write in a journal so that my feelings are expressed.
It is nice that people want to discuss this because then I do not feel as bad for what I think about. I hope that this does not make me sound bad, because I am not....I just do not know how to deal with the frusteration, the anger and the confusion for what happens with the headaches.
As an ending, since this is so long, I appreciate you letting me say this because it helps and I know deep down I would never do such a thing, especially if it would hurt those that I love and care for.
Thanks and sorry it is so long,
Jill

Title: Re: Suicidal??? Post here, the rest of you get out
Post by echo on Sep 17^th, 2002, 9:03am

Nice rant slammy!

Title: Re: Suicidal??? Post here, the rest of you get out
Post by Charlie on Sep 17^th, 2002, 6:41pm

After reading this, I want to kill myself

Charlie