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        New Message Board Archives >> 2002 Posts >> I might be quiet for awhile
        
(Message started by: NancyMcFree on Sep 9^th, 2002, 5:31pm)

Title: I might be quiet for awhile
Post by NancyMcFree on Sep 9^th, 2002, 5:31pm

Ok, well I am figuring the next month or so might be pretty shaky. So while I am riding the roller coaster of life I won't be posting. I'm way too emotional at this stage to be resilient to anything I perceive as an insult. Sorry about the fight Jonny, it's just a really bad time in my life. Actually appologizes to anyoneI I offended.

My husband starts his treatment this Friday. Yea, Friday the 13th. Ah what the heck, he was diagnosed based on his doctors appt from April fools day...so lets just keep the ball rolling. It's like Chemo so he will probably loose his hair. No, he will loose his hair. Hey Echo, you won't be alone !!!!! He is ready to shave it before even starting the treatments as he doesn't think he can take the clumps falling out and watching it wash down the drain. I tend to agree with him, besides it'll be like having a new man around the house and at 40+ what the hey - might be fun !!!!!!!!!!!!! He'll probably be really sick and weak as well so I have applied for the FMLA to take care of him if necessary. He hasn't been feeling real great lately so I am just praying he is up for the treatment. It can be pretty brutal and lasts for a year. At six months they will decided whether he is responding. If he is not responding at that point they will discontinue the meds. Then we wait until he goes on the liver transplant list unless they come up with a new treatment by then. His chances of the meds working are really slim due to the fact that he is stage 3 ciroisis already and because of the type of Hep C he has. His cancer indicator is still up .. so we will continue to get the cancer tests every three months. Guess he drew all the short straws on this one.

Sat down with his family and went over all this over the weekend so that was pretty emotional. He had been holding off telling them ... don't ask me why. I on the other hand have been leaning on my family and anyone who will listen.

In the meantime I have started the Verapamil to erase the shadows and occasional clusters that I am still having. I gotta get myself up for the next challenge whatever it takes. Hopefully the Verapamil will work as I am getting tired of the all day/all night shadows with the occasional wakeup call from the beast. I shouldn't complain about the shadows, after all, it's better than a few weeks ago when it was still at least a daily call from the beast.

I did take your advice and found a good support board for my husband. While it lacks the energy exhibited here they are nice and answer all of our questions and concerns. I have to laugh cause I never used to sign on to the internet before all this crap started. I work on a PC all day and never had the desire to spend time on one all night. I might end up becoming an internet junkie with all the sites I need to check. LOL.

Talk to you guys soon. PFDAN's to you all. Have fun in Vancouver !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Title: Re: I might be quiet for awhile
Post by jonny on Sep 9^th, 2002, 5:34pm

Good luck to you and your husband, Nancy, my thoughts are with you both.

.........................jonny

Title: Re: I might be quiet for awhile
Post by 2late on Sep 9^th, 2002, 5:44pm

hopin' things work out for you guy's, good luck, don't be a stranger!! ..............2late

Title: Re: I might be quiet for awhile
Post by Slammy on Sep 9^th, 2002, 5:44pm

Nancy,

I'll be praying for you and your husband.... hang in there, girl.... :-*

Slammy 8)

Title: Re: I might be quiet for awhile
Post by Margi on Sep 9^th, 2002, 5:46pm

i disagree, nancy. i think you SHOULD come here when you can. we might be a rough bunch sometimes, but look who was the first to step up to the plate to offer his thoughts?
and, here's some advice. next time you see a post that upsets you? confirm it with the writer...come right out and ask 'hey, buddy, did you really MEAN to be an a*s*s*h*o*l*e or are you just kidding?'
or email or chat with someone else and see if they see it as an insult too, before you post. please don't take this as an insult - it's not meant that way at all - i'm forever emailing peeps (one very patient soul in particular who puts up with it without question ;) ) to ask them if they are taking a post the same way I am. they're usually not and can make me see the light.
but remember one thing...if you're a clusterhead, or support someone who is, then this is your new home. you're allowed to talk about life in here too and share whatever part of your load you need to. that's why we're here, lady.
we understand if you need to turtle, we'll hold a chair for you, but rest assured folks will come looking for you if you don't report in, every once in awhile.
carry us around with you and know that you've got lots of clusterbuds who will gladly share your burden and offer up prayers for you and your family. (we've got a 1-800 number to God now, after this long.)
Hugs,

Title: Re: I might be quiet for awhile
Post by eyes_afire on Sep 9^th, 2002, 5:47pm

Hang in there Nancy. Don't worry, disagreements and misunderstandings among people are bound to happen... that's just the way it is sometimes. We're thinking of you and your husband... wishing you both well.

Title: Re: I might be quiet for awhile
Post by mustang on Sep 9^th, 2002, 5:58pm

Hang in there, Nancy, you were with me with your prayers and now I am with you in my prayers. Hope all goes well. You will be in my thoughts and prayers till I hear from you.
:) Mustang :)

Title: Re: I might be quiet for awhile
Post by Drk^Angel on Sep 9^th, 2002, 6:04pm

Good luck to you and your husband. You both with be in my thoughts and wishes.

PFDAN............................ Drk^Angel

Title: Re: I might be quiet for awhile
Post by kim on Sep 9^th, 2002, 6:09pm

Nancy, you are not alone. Life is dealing you a big pile right now. Whatever helps you out - hang on to it TIGHT!
Thinking of you. :)

Kim

Title: Re: I might be quiet for awhile
Post by Linda T on Sep 9^th, 2002, 6:16pm

Dear Nancy: Hang in there. Come here as often as you need to, even if it's only to vent. God knows, enough of us here are guilty of it!

When you need strength we will be here to give it to you.

Wishing your hubby well and PFDAN always to all, Linda T

Title: Re: I might be quiet for awhile
Post by Elaine on Sep 9^th, 2002, 6:51pm

I ditto Margis post!!!

Title: Re: I might be quiet for awhile
Post by BobG on Sep 9^th, 2002, 7:03pm

Nancy,
Our thoughts and prayers go out to you and your husband.
Come back and check in now and then. Let us know how you're doing.

Title: Re: I might be quiet for awhile
Post by Jim R on Sep 9^th, 2002, 7:11pm

Nancy,

My prayers and thoughts are with you both. Wishing you and your husband every success. - Jim R

Title: Re: I might be quiet for awhile
Post by Darleen on Sep 9^th, 2002, 7:26pm

Hey Nancy,

Thoughts and prayers are with both of you...

Stuff happens when you are part of a family...we can't get along all of the time now can we...how boring would that be anyway!! :)

I agree with Margi as well. Check in with if you can to let us know how you are both doing.

Lots of love,
Darleen :)

Title: Re: I might be quiet for awhile
Post by maria on Sep 9^th, 2002, 7:27pm

Nancy, I hope you know now that a lot of people here on the board are wishing the best for you and your husband. Please come back and update us with your progress as well as that of your husband. You know we all care about you. Maria

Title: Re: I might be quiet for awhile
Post by pjbgravely on Sep 9^th, 2002, 8:36pm

Nancy, Hang on, it may be a wild ride, Let us know how things are going. You don't have to read the replies.

Title: Re: I might be quiet for awhile
Post by Melissa on Sep 9^th, 2002, 8:38pm

Nancy,

You have my thoughts and best wishes. It would be hard on ANYONE to go through what you are, and I commend you for having such patience and love for your husband. Remember to take some time for yourself also, for how can you help him, if you need help yourself? If you ever need someone that will listen, or offer an outside opinion, you can drop me an email anytime you like.

Take care, and much luck!
:)Mel

Title: Re: I might be quiet for awhile
Post by don on Sep 9^th, 2002, 8:44pm

Fight? You call that a fight !

Nancy, that was but a mere dew drop in the great spittoon of bar room, (and CH) brawls. Your not a true poster if you haven't offended someone around here.

The people on this board have supported and have come through for me during some tough times and I've insulted pretty near everybody.

You and your husband will be in my thoughts and prayers.

It would be much easier if you were to keep us posted on both you and your husbands progress.

don

Title: Re: I might be quiet for awhile
Post by Mastifflvr28 on Sep 9^th, 2002, 11:14pm

VIBES headed your way Nancy, take care,
Mast

Title: Re: I might be quiet for awhile
Post by Charlie on Sep 9^th, 2002, 11:18pm

Margi said it rather well. She has a habit of doing that.

You're in my thoughts too and I hope you keep in touch with all us oddballs. We need your new blood.

Come here and vent or at least let us know how things are going.

Charlie

Title: Re: I might be quiet for awhile
Post by ShariRae on Sep 9^th, 2002, 11:20pm

Nancy,
Please know you are both in my thoughts and prayers..be strong honey.
Huggzzz
Shari

Title: Re: I might be quiet for awhile
Post by echo on Sep 10^th, 2002, 8:24am

Nancy, Hopefully you will drop in from time to time to chat a little with us. I know we will be wondering how you and your hubby are doing. Both of you will be in my thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself. Come back when you need to vent. I imagine you will need to from time to time.

Title: Re: I might be quiet for awhile
Post by Cin on Sep 10^th, 2002, 9:37am

Nancy,
Hang in there, and praying for you and your Hubby:) Keep posting, sending ray of sunshine your way**

Blessings,
Cin

Title: Re: I might be quiet for awhile
Post by nancyc on Sep 10^th, 2002, 9:55am

Nancy, you and your husband are in my prayers..please stick around the mb..you need the support ...smiles,nancyc

Title: Re: I might be quiet for awhile
Post by oringkid on Sep 10^th, 2002, 10:37am

I agree with everyone else Nancy. You will need an outlet in the coming days. And you will need a smile and a reason to laugh. Don't stop coming here if it's just due to 2 bad moods having a head on collision. We are here for you. And you can email me too, any time you want or need a shoulder, a sympathetic ear, or a sounding board.

I am sending strength and the protective shields of humor and love to you and your husband.

Sherry

Title: Re: I might be quiet for awhile
Post by NancyMcFree on Sep 10^th, 2002, 11:41am

Thank you guys for all the wonderful support. I have to give my vote to the oring kid when she said "2 bad moods having a head on collision". Shit, guess I have to thank Jonny ...my insurance rates won't go up now. LOL (If you didn't read the post you will never get the joke)

This post may have come after the big fiasco with Jonny and I, but I do believe Jonny and I have tried to lay our differences aside. I think we would both agree we don't talk the same lingo. Heck, I am not sure we are even on the same planet. Jonny is on earth. I am not sure where I am.

While I have always wanted to travel around the world I never thought I would get to do it over and over again in a matter of months. Between my panic attacks, first cluster episode (both of which was brought on by stress and no one in their right mind will disagree with me here), and my husband's illness I have been on a roller coaster of emotions. Guess I should thank God the trip was free !!!! But I can't quite thank him yet. When he lets me stop spinning I will get on my knees.

For now, will take it one day at a time. That is all I can handle. In the meantime I do have my husband reading some posts from the new board (for HepC) and that is a step in the right direction. He wants to be an ostrich and pretend this never happened even though he is already weak and ha'’t even started the meds that will kick his "wambag" from here to eternity and back.

Heck, I will keep in touch and answer a few posts where I feel I can truly add something. Heck, I haven'’t been able to stay off for 48 hours!!!! Lol

I just keep reading over and over again the prayer that my father gave me when he found out about my husband's illness. It has brought me peace and tears since I received it, as I have a hard time living up to it.

Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
And where there is sadness, Joy.
O Divine master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
To be understood, as to understand;
To be loved, as to love;
For it is in the giving that we receive,
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Yea, I know, the Catholic in me is coming out big time....but you know what, I kind of like that side of me. I might have to call my mom and dad and thank them again for doing a great job raising me. Take care. And PFDAN's to you all.