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Title: Do you remember what its like to be a newbie ? Post by NancyMcFree on Aug 21st, 2002, 6:51pm I have been appalled at some of the responses I have seen posted to some of the questions asked. As a newbie let me just explain some of the things that you guys may have forgotten being around so long - #1 - Newbies are usually searching for an answer because we have never found NOT ONE ANSWER as to why this has happened to us. I for one know that out of the blue 3 months ago I started getting these things and had never heard of them. I was extatic when I found this site and started reading all the info and posts. #2 - I know I for one landed at this site at the point where I still had NO MEDS, NO EXPLANATION, AND NO SLEEP FOR OVER 35 DAYS. You tell me which button to push at that point .... hell, I could barely see my eyes were so fuzzy from lack of sleep !!!!! I considered myself lucky to have found the site. #3 - We were NOT ALL CREATED EQUAL where PC skills are involved. Some of us may be new to the internet and just searching for the first time and got lucky and landed here. #4 - I will admit this, perhaps many of you won't. I took a Microsoft Word class recently. I use Word every day at work .... and yet I was amazed at shortcuts, tricks and tips I didn't know .... it took someone with EXPERIENCE to point out that they existed. I for one never noticed the search button at the top of this screen ......... STONE ME, KICK ME, but EDUCTATE ME before you call me an ***HOLE. #5 - Making fun of people and belittling them is just unkind. #6 - I personally feel like the true ***hole is the person who doesn't ask any questions ..... for they have no desire to learn !!!!!! |
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Title: Re: Do you remember what its like to be a newbie ? Post by kim on Aug 21st, 2002, 8:50pm ??? Memory? what memory ;D |
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Title: Re: Do you remember what its like to be a newbie ? Post by Charlie on Aug 22nd, 2002, 12:02am I remember and I pretty much agree with you. I was such a clod with my puter that they put up with me. I didn't know how to navigate at all. I got away with it somehow. I did read the board for a couple weeks but then I wasn't in pain. Still, these are people who will do almost anything for a clusterhead. Glad to have ya. Really inquiring old Charlie |
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Title: Re: Do you remember what its like to be a newbie ? Post by kim on Aug 22nd, 2002, 12:06am Holy shit. No one answered this post. She ponders. ............Like those movies where you scream "Don't open that Door ya idiot!" :o And, wha happens? Idiot opens the door ;) Yes. |
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Title: Re: Do you remember what its like to be a newbie ? Post by Edna on Aug 22nd, 2002, 12:21am Yep nancy M...sure do remember.....words cannot describe the feelings.....but we pretty much all must have had the same kind. At first read a lot and thought I'd NEVER post or chat....... BUT then I fell in love with the place and the people here. Hope you find that too......PLUS anything that can help you with your pain. EDNA |
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Title: Re: Do you remember what its like to be a newbie ? Post by ChristineL on Aug 22nd, 2002, 8:38am In life..................... Some are kinder than others Some have more tolerance Some need to get a life!!!! Hang in there Nancy ...........we newbies may not do everything perfect but we are trying. Chris L |
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Title: Re: Do you remember what its like to be a newbie ? Post by oringkid on Aug 22nd, 2002, 10:17am ok, this message board (both versions) has been around for a while. It is very probable that any question any one ever thought to ask has been asked before. So, if no one asks any questions that have been asked before...what the hell do we do with this message board? Let's get real here people. As a newbie, when you find this place and see this message board filled with people who endure the same pain you do, the info becomes not quite as important at that moment as interacting, reaching out and actually touching another person who has felt the pain. The research will come later. The newbie wants to "hear" another voice, "touch" another hand in that long dark tunnel. So their first questions may have been asked before, that is because those are the questions we all ask because we all suffer from the same thing! If you don't want to answer, don't, another newbie will. We can answer AND point out the way to more info. Sherry |
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Title: Re: Do you remember what its like to be a newbie ? Post by Jim R on Aug 22nd, 2002, 10:29am You make some very good points, Nancy. It can get a little cliquey around here sometimes, ah but I don't think there is one member here that wishes anything but the best for fellow sufferers. It's almost like fights within a family... Jim R |
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Title: Re: Do you remember what its like to be a newbie ? Post by ChristineL on Aug 22nd, 2002, 10:30am I have been a mentor for over 20 years to "newbies" in another venue (obviously - LOL). I suggest websites, I print out scads of info to mail and give to people, and I am still asked the same basic questions over and over. I don't tell these people that they already have the information at their fingertips. I patiently answer their questions because as a mentor that is what I should do and what I want to do. As Sherry said, these people want confirmation and reassurance that what they are doing is correct and to hear the voice of experience. To share and to feel confident that they read it correctly or understood it the right way. I agree with Sherry - if you don't want to answer then just ignore the post. Chris L |
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Title: Re: Do you remember what its like to be a newbie ? Post by NancyMcFree on Aug 22nd, 2002, 2:04pm Thanks for the responses .... I have to share with you that yesterday was my FIRST PAIN FREE DAY in 60 days since I got these cluster headaches ........ but for some reason I HAD A FRIGGIN HEADACHE !!!!!!!!!!!! What is up with that ?????? I should have stayed off the board and played in my backyard all day and night ... just celebrating pain free !!!!!! LOL. |
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Title: Re: Do you remember what its like to be a newbie ? Post by jonny on Aug 22nd, 2002, 2:20pm Hell!!!, I was only here for less than a week before I told someone "If it was up to me you would have no air to breath" Nuff said!! ..............jonny |
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Title: Re: Do you remember what its like to be a newbie ? Post by Margi on Aug 22nd, 2002, 2:57pm I'll second that, Jonny. When I first came here, I was maybe the 2nd supporter ever to post? I remember getting hate mail that this is a board ONLY for sufferers - that there was NO way supporters could ever understand or sympathize with cluster pain. I've had to do my share of clawing and biting too along the way. This definately has never been a tea party here at ch.com. It never WILL be either. This will ALWAYS be an issue here. It's just human nature, gang. I think old Hubster and I went a few rounds in the old days. He was a particularily nasty newbie, if memory serves. Now he's just plain mouthy. Heck, if we let HIM stay - we'll let ANYONE in. You got clusters or support someone who does? Then, pull up a chair and pay attention. Leave your sensitivities at the door and be prepared to take your lumps along the way, like EVERY ONE OF US already has. We're not exactly nuns in here. |
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Title: Re: Do you remember what its like to be a newbie ? Post by NancyMcFree on Aug 22nd, 2002, 3:04pm Sorry but I think leaving "our sensativites at the door" cause most of the rude comments you read here. That and the pain from the headaches ..... Just my opinion ... and like an ass*ole everyone has one. My parents always taught me "the good old thumper theory", "if you don't have anything nice to say ... don't say anything at all". Tough cookies, old cookies, fresh cookies, soft cookies, sugar-coated cookies, and just plain tastless cookies .... we all are stuck in the cookie jar together !! It takes all kinds to make the world go round though .... so we will just have to learn to live with each other. ::) ::) ::) ::) |
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Title: Re: Do you remember what its like to be a newbie ? Post by Ted on Aug 22nd, 2002, 3:11pm I have neither an opinion nor an a$$hole. And that explains why I have to post my shit here. |
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Title: Re: Do you remember what its like to be a newbie ? Post by Margi on Aug 22nd, 2002, 3:35pm Nancy, what's wrong with my leaving sensitivities at the door suggestion? We've ALL had to just suck it up at one point or another here, to get to the meat of the meal offered. I certainly DO apologize if that offended you, it really wasn't intended to do so (however you did just illustrate my point.) I guaran-dang-tee you if you post a legitimate question, 95% of the folks here will break both ankles scrambling to help you find an answer. (The other 5%? Well, there's some in every crowd.) Even if that answer IS to point you to our archives. It's still helping YOU to learn how to help yourself through our own personal experieces - what is wrong with that? We're PROUD of the work we've done here and we want to show it off :) Another thing to consider is that DJ pays for this webspace. Why clutter it up with repetitiveness when there IS a library at your fingertips and years of research that has been proven to bring relief - just a mouse click away? But if a person (I'm not naming anyone in particular - HONESTLY!) arrives here and starts criticizing a well-oiled machine that already runs smoothly, of course they are going to get criticized right back. You think us old farts (such a nicer term than Nazi!) would still hang around here if we DIDN'T want to help people? Heck, Charlie and Donna have had eons of remission and they still check in every day, just like the rest of us. You think they're coming here just to chase away the newbies? Then you really haven't done your homework. |
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Title: Re: Do you remember what its like to be a newbie ? Post by NancyMcFree on Aug 22nd, 2002, 4:17pm Margi, I think you may have mis-read my post ... or perhaps brought another post in to it. I started my post for one reason and one reason only ... that was to remind everyone that people unfamiliar to this site may have a hard time navigating around it ... that not all people are as PC literate as the next .... that sometimes when you find a place you might call home .... you don't want to be insulted because you are "not at your best". Perhaps you should re-read this thread and leave the other behind. I am just a soft old cookie who wants to see everyone get along in the cookie jar ... nothing more, nothing less. I thank you for all the hard work you have done on this site. It's great. I thank DJ for starting it. Heck, I thank every last soul that has ever posted back to me with some type of hope. Like I said ..... Just a really soft old cookie |
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Title: Re: Do you remember what its like to be a newbie ? Post by Slammy on Aug 22nd, 2002, 4:29pm Nancy, You ask for the impossible! Not everyone is going to get along in here! It can't happen..... You have too many different type of personalities, opinions, theories, etc., for that to happen. And you know what? THAT'S OK! nothing wrong with that.... I agree with Margi's " Leave your sensitivities at the door". If someone takes this shit personal, then that's their problem. Like my bud, Jonny says: "IT'S THE FUCKIN INTERNET" If I don't like what's on the channel, I CHANGE THE CHANNEL! So it's like any community, you hang with those you like, and you lob scuds at those you don't! ;D SHO! Slammy 8) |
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Title: Re: Do you remember what its like to be a newbie ? Post by NancyMcFree on Aug 22nd, 2002, 4:49pm I still don't agree with the lobbing of scubs .... why can't you guys just leave people alone if you don't like them ... ignore them ... don't answer their posts ..... that's the part I don't get. I never thought that everyone could get along ... for God's sakes I am from a family of 14 and I know what rivalry is ..... but lobbing stuff ????? Some day the person you "LOB" stuff at won't be there anymore .... and then what will you do ??? Regret it or find someone new to pick on ??? The reason I started this tread was because of a comment about someone not being able to spell ... plus a few other things ..... I'm thumping my ass* out of here for now cause now I am just a Sobby old cookie |
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Title: Re: Do you remember what its like to be a newbie ? Post by Margi on Aug 22nd, 2002, 4:54pm Hey Nancy? I think you're right - I think you and I are arguing the same point. I'm a soft old cookie too. ;) There are lots of different personalities here, no doubt about it! I think Slammy's scud suggestion was just an expression. You know what I do, Nancy? sometimes I go to the pic page and find pictures of folks who are arguing. I bet if they didn't have the comfort and anonymity of the internet between them, they wouldn't have the courage to say some of the things they do with a keyboard. We're all just regular folks here, tryin to get by. Oh, and really nice to meet you Nancy. Welcome to the madness. :) There is a saying that fits well here. It's illigitimus non carborundum. Loosely translated: don't let the bastards grind ya down. Stick around gal...who's to say you're not gonna be the one to discover the cure? |
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Title: Re: Do you remember what its like to be a newbie ? Post by jonny on Aug 22nd, 2002, 5:10pm just goes to show you that people should read the MB for awhile before they post ( I did) Lobbing scuds was a joke and nothing more, Nancy, you been reading the board for awhile.....do you really think Slammy was serious about lobbing scuds? Its only the fucking internet....a true CH'er would never be scared away from this haven. Like I said, 5 days in I told someone I would kill them.....gets some balls or unplug the damn puter. If CH dont kill you why would some ones words "typed" make you cry? .................jonny |
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Title: Re: Do you remember what its like to be a newbie ? Post by Slammy on Aug 22nd, 2002, 5:11pm on 08/22/02 at 16:54:47, Margi wrote:
Thanks Margi! That's exactly what it was.. :) sometimes...... LMAO! Easy, Nancy...... I don't think anyone is here to pick on people like bullies...some just ask for it... :-X I think most of it is when someone takes a tongue in cheek post personal, then it flys.... ;) like.. if I was to say..... " lob a scud at... Canada!" :o I obviously meant it as a "fun poke" but, someone may take offense to it.... now..if I was to say.. " lob a scud at Canadian women who love cats" the response would be somewhat different... :D the comment about using spell check, I am sure, was meant tongue-in-cheek.. ;) Slammy 8) |
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Title: Re: Do you remember what its like to be a newbie ? Post by jonny on Aug 22nd, 2002, 5:22pm Or like if I said I would like to kill you as opposed to I would like to kill you by bashing your fucking head in with a hammer. See the difference? LMMFAO!!!!!!!! ;D .....................Slammy 8) |
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Title: Re: Do you remember what its like to be a newbie ? Post by Margi on Aug 22nd, 2002, 5:44pm See Nancy? I'm Canadian. Slammy's tryin to get my goat (i've heard he likes them, maybe a wee bit tooo much.... Pretty baaaaad, huh?) But i ain't bitin this time. Oops maybe i just did. It's all good. Little rough around the edges here sometimes, but we're a lovable bunch. Well, except for Jack Boyd that is. |
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Title: Re: Do you remember what its like to be a newbie ? Post by NancyMcFree on Aug 22nd, 2002, 5:58pm Ok, I saw a message from Dark Angel that he want's it all to stop ... the bitching, the complaining, the not getting along....its too hard to keep up with the posts ... and then it was gone. I think he deleted it cause he was starting a new thread on an old toplic. But I gotta agree with him. We are wasting time here.... we could be looking for the "research paper on clusterheads" and sending our letter thanking the researching which would be getting us places like was suggested to us. Love you guys ..... we are all in this together .... let's make it positive and find our "research topic". 8) :) ;) :D ;D :o ::) :P |
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Title: Re: Do you remember what its like to be a newbie ? Post by oringkid on Aug 23rd, 2002, 8:10am Why should someone leave their sensibilities at the door? They are part of compassion and caring. Without them we would all be hard unfeeling a$$es. There is a difference between a joke and meaness. I can tell that Slammy and Jonny joke around. Others are just unecessarily mean at times. And it's not all the time either. And not the same people all the time. What hurts the newbie the most, I think, is the condescension and patronization that can be quite prolific around here at times. I agree with Nancy, and I have cried because of people here too. You don't come here and expect to have people treat you like a recalcitrant child. But that all too often happens. And it does not matter whether you read every single word on this website. I stayed because so many of the nice people asked me to. I will say, though, if you can make it through the initiation period, and then the limbo period, it is easier. Sherry |
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Title: Re: Do you remember what its like to be a newbie ? Post by Margi on Aug 23rd, 2002, 8:35am Um, Sherry? The word was 'sensitivities' not 'sensabilities' - big difference. Although quite a few people actually do the latter. Sorry, don't mean this to be one of the mean posts. |
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Title: Re: Do you remember what its like to be a newbie ? Post by oringkid on Aug 23rd, 2002, 9:11am Whether it is sensitivities or sensibilities it is still the same. If we are not sensitive we are still hard uncaring a$$es. Condescension and patronization. Sherry BTW, sensibilities and sensitivities basically mean the same thing. |
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Title: Re: Do you remember what its like to be a newbie ? Post by dannyboy on Aug 23rd, 2002, 9:31am Flaming, Lobbing Scuds, Bashing, Pulling Poeple Up, ... etc etc ... Is .... Never necessary Always self serving Always causes damage to individuals and communities Always an impulsive expression of anger Never contributes anything except pain and confusion Always starts in self righteousness Always ends in shame Always started in Childhood Thats all ... nothing more nothing less ... But go on ... Kid yourself ... tell yourself you're helping Danny |
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Title: Re: Do you remember what its like to be a newbie ? Post by Elaine on Aug 23rd, 2002, 10:00am Yes and it was a good feeling. I also have learned not to get upset over post like I use to. My friends are my friends. My family is my family! I go to a lot of web sites and find that on most message boards that the longest treads are fighting treads and what the site should be. I can't find it but I wish I could. It was a post that DJ wrote a long time ago telling what he thought the site to be! For people who have not read this board and do not know who DJ is. He is our webmaster! He is a great guy who made this place for us to cry bitch be who we are or who we want to be! He don't say a word to us. He just lets us make a fool out of ourself! I have done it a lot! From miss reading post to telling someone to fuck off! The point being this is the internet ! We will make friends we will make some hate us! We are all in some kind of pain that is the only thing I think we all agree on and ever will! Enjoy the site he made us skip what ya don't! Its life! |
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