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Topic: I don't know what to do (Read 1085 times) |
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Garys_Girl
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I don't know what to do
« on: Jul 25th, 2006, 8:09pm » |
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I guess I'm just looking to vent or share or cry to people who understand. I just recently gave advice to a "new" supporter that one thing I do is try not to fight about the things my CH-sufferer is bitching about because I know he's sleep deprived, irritable from all the pain and stress, etc. But here's what's up. A few weeks ago, the level of CH activity started to wane. We hoped (and prayed) he was coming out of cycle. After two weeks - the 2nd week of which there was VERY little activity (other than the still constant shadows), we were even more hopeful. Then BAM. It's all back. The melatonin does help him get a little sleep. The 1 - 3 hours that he gets. But he's an insomniac with sleep apnea to begin with. And it's now almost five months without real sleep. And he's really on the edge of going insane, and says so at least every day. He isn't irritable. He's a maniac. And he has given me so much power - I am responsible for everything. For the car being towed last week when he parked it illegally. For getting lost with directions I gave him (that I know are correct because we've used them before - but I wasn't there to help navigate, and he obviously missed a turn because he wasn't paying attention). For the car breaking down today (I don't even drive that one!). For the cat walking him when he managed to slip into a nap. (We rescue cats and have six of them. Should I lock them all in one room? The only rooms in this house with a door are the bathroom and the bedroom). He is getting so angry these days he's almost constantly shaking with anger. He was on the phone yesterday, seemed fine, and I asked him if he wanted dinner. And that resulted in a volcanic eruption of how I'm killing him. He can put on the "happy face" long enough with everyone else to manage to not get fired. But there's no more happy face for me. I'm not fighting back, though were it a more normal situation I would not put up with this. He's barely treating me like a human being. I seem to have become some kind of witch and I apparently I am purposefully making his life a living hell. I considered looking for some kind of therapy or something - there must be people who specialize in working with people with physically-driven depression and psychosis. But the only real problem is that he's not getting any or enough sleep. Do I just keep trying to be quiet and not say anything? The last time I tried to bring it up - when he seemed like he was in a good mood - I swear to god, I was not confrontational about it. And I got the "from my own wife I can't get some sympathy? You've got to stop it - don't you see how close to the edge I am? You're KILLING ME." He just isn't ever (seemingly) in a place that's even near reasonable - let alone in a place that used to be occupied by my husband. There's just no resemblence. And I don't know what to do. I'm hoping just crying on your shoulders here will help. Laurie
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____________________________________ Laurie
"It's comin' like a freight train - can't you hear it?" - Gary
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TxBasslady
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Re: I don't know what to do
« Reply #1 on: Jul 25th, 2006, 9:34pm » |
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Laurie, What other meds does Gary take. Aside from the melatonin...is he still taking the Kudzu? Still using the 02? Maybe there's something he's taking that's causing the irritability... Hang in there, sweetie....You have come a long way since you got here. Let us know about other meds. Much love to you, Laurie Jean
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Garys_Girl
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Re: I don't know what to do
« Reply #2 on: Jul 26th, 2006, 1:14am » |
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Hey Jean! haven't seen you for a while. Miss you! He's still taking the Kudzu, melatonin, taurine, magnesium, calcium. He's also takes tramadol from time to time, although he went through quite a bit of it for a while there, but that was a month or so ago. He's tried Xanax, valium and kolonopin to help with the stress. But he decided to try alternatives, and we're going the CB way. We're nearing production phases, but we're worried about stuff that looks like contam now that they've started to pin. We've still got two grow bags not ready to induce fruting yet, so even if there is a problem here, we're not necessarily months away from treatment. But he's seriously depressed, and it's becoming a pretty vicious cycle - depressed and angry, guilty, angry, depressed, &etc. And nothing I do helps. And doing nothing - just trying to stay quiet and out of the way doesn't help. As to sleep meds - in the past (before CH), he'd tried them all and they don't help him. He's tired and seems to be giving up.
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____________________________________ Laurie
"It's comin' like a freight train - can't you hear it?" - Gary
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CHTom
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Re: I don't know what to do
« Reply #3 on: Jul 26th, 2006, 1:18am » |
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If Gary is suffering from manic-depressive disorder, you need to get him to a psychiatrist, otherwise things will just get worse for you and him. Is he taking lithium? Although CH will make life miserable, his mania needs to be treated ASAP, for that illness can be dangerous to both you and him. From your description of his behaviors, it sounds like he needs to get inpatient treatment for his mania and have that taken care of first, otherwise that, combined with his CH can be dangerous.
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TxBasslady
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Re: I don't know what to do
« Reply #4 on: Jul 26th, 2006, 1:46am » |
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Laurie, I know it must be tough to stand by and not be able to help. Being a sufferer myself, I can say that I have never had the type of behavior cycle that Gary displays. Have you talked to someone at CB? Can you get what you need to get him started...just in case what you have is contaminated? Do you think he's upset about the alternative treatment? I know he's had a rough go....but you have too. And you always have to remember to take care of you! Looks like he's the type that wants noone around when thngs get rough. I can't fault him there, Laurie...cause I've been there. We need to find you someone to talk too. Someone who can help YOU to get through this. My CH angel is Jackie. I can ask her to help....she's really great! Of course, I realize this doesn't help Gary right now. Lots of times, Laurie, our supporters are give out. When that happens, it seems they can do no right where the sufferer is concerned. I know that you are frazzled...tired...and give out. I have talked with you here (on the board) before, many times. Bless your heart, sweetie. I'll surely do what I can to help. Just not sure how much I can do, under the circumstances. I'll have Jackie come here later this morning and see if she can post and give you some better info. She's a great supporter...and you'll love her! Take care, Laurie...keep coming here to vent...try not to give up. Much love, Jean
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Jackie
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Re: I don't know what to do
« Reply #5 on: Jul 26th, 2006, 8:14am » |
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Laurie.... Good morning, Sweetie.... You all are having a rough go for sure.... I'm doing some research and will get back soon..... need to check out some of these drugs he's been on. Hang on......it's gonna be OK... Margie....you out there? Thanks Jean.....for the heads up... Back soon... Jackie
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Jackie
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Re: I don't know what to do
« Reply #6 on: Jul 26th, 2006, 8:48am » |
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Just a bit of info on 'tramadol'.... Side effects: nervousness or anxiety, agitation, changes in mood. Wondering if this drug might be contributing to the problems....how much is he on? did some of the personality problems begin when he started on this drug? More later.... OH...Check your PMs.... Jackie
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« Last Edit: Jul 26th, 2006, 10:40am by Jackie » |
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nani
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Re: I don't know what to do
« Reply #7 on: Jul 26th, 2006, 10:21am » |
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God bless you, Laurie. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. I can't say that I've ever behaved that badly, either. I'm going to check into a few things, will you PM me your phone number? I'm sending vibes and prayers. big hugs, nani
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Margi
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Re: I don't know what to do
« Reply #8 on: Jul 26th, 2006, 11:13am » |
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Hi Laurie - first of all - big hugs... I hate what you're going through, both you AND Gary, ok? I've seen my hubby put his fist through drywall in his early cluster career. You and I can't realize the depths of frustration these guys hit - we come close but...the pain alone can transform people and then we add meds into the mix and they become a science experiment. Sadly, sometimes with horrific results and they can end up taking it out on those closest to them. Your posts really worry me. Jackie's report on Tramadol is bang on, too - he may still be reacting to it, even though you said he's not taking it much anymore. Maybe what he did take, though, was enough to set off a chemical imbalance. And...we just don't know enough about Kudzu yet. Most people tolerate it well but maybe Gary isn't that lucky? I know Mike had a HORRIBLE reaction to Melatonin, much what you describe Gary is going through - to the point that he will never try it again. It resolved quite quickly once we got him off the melatonin though. That's the problem with cluster - there are so many things we use that are designed for other maladies - we just don't know how they will affect someone with a pre-existing seratonin imbalance. I do believe everyone is different in that regard, in how they react. Mike's another one who can't ever again take prednisone because it turns him into Super Jerk within a few hours. Normally, he's a real sweet guy. (We should have a picture of prednisone on our door contained in a circle with a line drawn through it.... ) So what would I do if I were in your shoes? I guess you have a couple options. First and probably the best, most widely accepted option is to talk to his doctor and see if he can suggest anything. Is Gary using oxygen? Oxygen really is the best and safest abortive out there. Be honest with the doctor about ALL the stuff he's taking, ok? What I personally would do, because your post is hitting a chord within me, is get him off the stuff he's taking and start from square one again. I know from experience he's not going to want to go talk to a doctor at this point if he's anything like my boy. Sometimes it's up to us to take the lead there and do some research about detoxing. Kudzu needs a taper - right? Melatonin, I think you can stop it without a taper - please someone correct me if I'm wrong. Calcium and Magnesium probably aren't hurting him, other than helping a bit with the head and keeping him....um....regular (always good). Hide the tramadol or...better yet, flush it (I hate that stuff....doesn't do anything for cluster anyway, just masks it!). As for the taurine...I have no clue. Is it in the form of Red Bull? Because that stuff can zip you up like you would NOT believe. I know it has been helping some clusterheads but you need to find out what is causing Gary to erupt like he is...it may not just be sleep deprivation. It very well may be a chemical reaction. So you need to eliminate it all and start over. You can give him Dramamine or Benadryl to help him sleep. You can start him on the water treatment to help speed up the detox process too, but I would retain the calcium and magnesium. Get him using ice when he gets hit - it honestly does help to keep people calmed down. Get him some oxygen to abort. Laurie, you're going to have to do this anyway before you go the alternative route - he can't be taking this stuff if he's going to go there anyway. And I HIGHLY suggest you get this anger problem under control before you go with the alternatives anyway because, depending on which route you choose, alternatives can be mood ENHANCERS and, well, that could just be plain scary if Gary is on a rampage when he doses. Lastly, sorry this is so long, but...read CHTom's post here too. If Gary IS seriously manic, Laurie, he does need professional help and he could have the potential to become a danger to you and to himself. Read up on psychosis and mania and be honest with yourself and see if he really is manic. It's a fine line sometimes and only YOU know what is really happening in your house. If he does fit the bill there, get in touch with the right medical authorities and ask for their intervention. Don't endanger yourself, Laurie. True mania can be life threatening to all those around. More hugs, please keep us posted, ok? Margi
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TxBasslady
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Re: I don't know what to do
« Reply #9 on: Jul 26th, 2006, 11:33am » |
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Thanks ladies.... I did pm Laurie the info on the Tramadol late last night, early a.m. today, not sure which. She'll sign on in a bit....I'm sure. Thanks for being such great supporters Jean
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How lucky I am... to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye too.
Take a kid fishin www.takemefishin.org
I adopted a Vietnam POW/MIA from El Paso, Texas!
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Garys_Girl
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Re: I don't know what to do
« Reply #10 on: Jul 26th, 2006, 12:29pm » |
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I cannot thank you all enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't think it's the melatonin - he's been on that since March and it really seems to simply help him get the little sleep he gets. I'm also pretty sure it's not the tramadol, though I won't bet on it. In essence, he's basically tapered off of it and for the past week has used it almost not at all and the week before that it was infrequent. There's the possibility of course, that's that what it is. I think the main problem is the depression. And I can guarantee he will not check into an inpatient program. The problem with us is we haven't had healthcare coverage for a long time. We started our new job May 1, so our health coverage goes active Aug 1. Money is tight for us, so until we get those insurance cards - which means probably a couple of weeks into August..... The other problem (and if we do end up speaking to any of you on the phone PLEASE do not mention this!) with Gary is that he's completely brilliant. He's got an IQ of 185, and knows a lot about everything. He left school in 8th grade, became the youngest regional manager of a Fortunte 50 company ever, and with no training now is CIO of a wall street firm. He's jack of all trades and master of all of them. But this one? It's the master, and he's not used to that. He was also in the army for 9 1/2 years (and, in fact, was in Lebanon during the last war there). So he's got that very stoic "just walk it off" attitude toward health. On the other hand, I really feel that if he just detoxes off of everything, and then at least tries the CB method - he may at least regain the use of O2, which had become essentially ineffective. When the O2 stopped working efficiently to abort the attacks, he started relying on espresso. With the melatonin, it didn't affect his sleep much. BUT it ended up shredding his GI system, which he's had problems with for years. Obviously his stomach ulcers are back (and bleeding), and he's had problems with ulcers and hemerrhoids in his colon - obviously those are back (and bleeding). So he needs serious medical attention, and he knows that - but refuses to do anything but stop drinking the coffee, improve the diet - and wait until the health insurance kicks in. BTW - the taurine he takes as a supplement. I forgot - I'd stopped giving him the taurine the minute he told me his ulcers were back. It is counterindicated in people with ulcers because it creates excess bile. So I'm sure I contributed to exacerbating this situation for him by giving him the Taurine supplements to begin with. I should have stopped it when he started relying so heavily on coffee. Anyway, I promised him I would never discuss the CB alternative anyplace other than the CB board, and now I've violated that promise. But to address the question - he is not upset about the alternative treatment. Gary and I used the "treatment" recreationally as teens in the 70s, and that's not news to anyone we know or any of our customers. Today, unfortunately, I need to get back to work, and we've got commitments through late tonight. But I will get back to everyone ASAP, and I cannot thank you all enough for all your help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think the best course of action for me is to convince him it's not mold (whether it is or isn't), and tell him he probably better start tapering off the Kudzu, stay off the tramadol, stop the melatonin, and not take any more of the kolonopin. The pins are developing really quickly - they're getting big, so should be developing into harvestable medicine soon............ This way he gets off all the meds except the Kudzu, which he can taper off of over the next few days. And we'll see what happens. I'll keep you posted, and I cannot thank you enough for your research, help and support!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!! (((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))) to you all, Laurie
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____________________________________ Laurie
"It's comin' like a freight train - can't you hear it?" - Gary
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Margi
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Re: I don't know what to do
« Reply #11 on: Jul 26th, 2006, 12:40pm » |
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oh Laurie - there are so many of us who have walked in your shoes....it's so hard sometimes. Please know that you are not alone in any of this. Feel free to pm me, email me, call me - whatever you need. Been there, survived it. Don't forget to make and TAKE time for you, ok? Sometimes you just really need to step back and get things in perspective. It's crucial to YOUR survival too, ok? I know I go on and on about the bubble bath and wine trick but...supporters can so easily lose themselves on the warfield. don't let that happen to you. And sometimes, it's the wakeup call our sufferers need when they see us stick our hands up in the air and say "cheque, please!" I'm not recommending you leave - not at ALL - just allow yourself to take an hour or two off from your life. And let Gary know you need to do that. You will be back, life will resume, but that YOU need to just shut down for a couple hours. You'll be amazed at how much this can help you both. hugs, Margi
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IMHO (which in my universe is correct) kathy copelin, ch.com 8/8/06
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TxBasslady
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Re: I don't know what to do
« Reply #12 on: Jul 26th, 2006, 12:46pm » |
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Check out the Kolonopin, Laurie Side effects should look familiar to you. Looks like too much of several different meds, and/or mixing of such. I did mention to Jackie that Gary was probably home...and that it might be difficult for you to speak on the phone. She's getting info together for you....so please stay tuned...LOL. As far as the mold issue.....once you get him off EVERYTHING....and I think that has to be about 7 days, I bet someone could help ya out with the alt med. You're doin' good girl.....stay with us, k? Jean
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How lucky I am... to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye too.
Take a kid fishin www.takemefishin.org
I adopted a Vietnam POW/MIA from El Paso, Texas!
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Margi
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Re: I don't know what to do
« Reply #13 on: Jul 26th, 2006, 12:54pm » |
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on Jul 25th, 2006, 8:09pm, Garys_Girl wrote:But here's what's up. A few weeks ago, the level of CH activity started to wane. We hoped (and prayed) he was coming out of cycle. After two weeks - the 2nd week of which there was VERY little activity (other than the still constant shadows), we were even more hopeful. Then BAM. It's all back. |
| You know, Laurie....this in itself can be enough to set a clusterhead for a loop. It's very common for the beast to take a final hard kick at you before it leaves for good. I've seen this happen with Mike at the end of nearly every cycle. You think you're out of the woods then it comes back and just kneecaps you. I think every episodic fears going chronic and this could also be part of what's fuelling Gary's fire right now. just putting this out there, food for thought. Margi
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And, on the Eighth Day...God created Beer (to stop the Canadians from taking over the world) source unknown
IMHO (which in my universe is correct) kathy copelin, ch.com 8/8/06
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TxBasslady
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Re: I don't know what to do
« Reply #14 on: Jul 26th, 2006, 1:01pm » |
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on Jul 26th, 2006, 12:54pm, Margi wrote: You know, Laurie....this in itself can be enough to set a clusterhead for a loop. It's very common for the beast to take a final hard kick at you before it leaves for good. I've seen this happen with Mike at the end of nearly every cycle. You think you're out of the woods then it comes back and just kneecaps you. I think every episodic fears going chronic and this could also be part of what's fuelling Gary's fire right now. |
| So true, Margi. I've sure been there before. Thanks for being such a great supporter, Margi I hope you know how much you're appreciated. Jean
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How lucky I am... to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye too.
Take a kid fishin www.takemefishin.org
I adopted a Vietnam POW/MIA from El Paso, Texas!
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E-Double
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Re: I don't know what to do
« Reply #15 on: Jul 26th, 2006, 1:04pm » |
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Screw that! You do not need to take that from anyone! Even a "suffering" CHer. Either he needs a kick in the ass and get a psyche consult or a different kick in the ass. I'm chronic in F-ing pain, I have a 6 week old daughter who has been in and out of the hospital. I have a wife who is suffering from post partum depression. I work full time and take care of the baby throughout the night! I would never act this way even when peaking with 8-10 attacks per day. Good luck, keep your chin up and take time for you!!!! Eric
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I can't believe that I have to bang my Head against this wall again But the blows they have just a little more Space in-between them Gonna take a breath and try again.
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Margi
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Re: I don't know what to do
« Reply #16 on: Jul 26th, 2006, 1:07pm » |
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but E-Dub, sweetie - you're an angel on earth though. Not all clusterfolk are like you. Not all clusterheads have your gentleness and patience. Like I said, you're an angel, Eric. We're all praying for little Hannah today, btw. Just wanted you to know that. Hugs and love, Margi
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And, on the Eighth Day...God created Beer (to stop the Canadians from taking over the world) source unknown
IMHO (which in my universe is correct) kathy copelin, ch.com 8/8/06
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TxBasslady
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Re: I don't know what to do
« Reply #17 on: Jul 26th, 2006, 1:14pm » |
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on Jul 26th, 2006, 1:07pm, Margi wrote:but E-Dub, sweetie - you're an angel on earth though. Not all clusterfolk are like you. Not all clusterheads have your gentleness and patience. |
| Amen, Margi. Hugs for Hannah, Edub.... Jean
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How lucky I am... to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye too.
Take a kid fishin www.takemefishin.org
I adopted a Vietnam POW/MIA from El Paso, Texas!
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E-Double
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Re: I don't know what to do
« Reply #18 on: Jul 26th, 2006, 1:38pm » |
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I did not mean that looking for a pat on the back! I do appreciate it though. I think it is a matter of common decency whether you are in pain due to CH or you have an f-en hangnail. This appears to me to go deeper than CH and though we are just cyber buddies and do not know the 3 sides to the story it just struck a nerve and I wish her well. Gary needs to come here and get a grip and Laurie needs to be empowered. I need a beer!
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I can't believe that I have to bang my Head against this wall again But the blows they have just a little more Space in-between them Gonna take a breath and try again.
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Garys_Girl
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Re: I don't know what to do
« Reply #19 on: Jul 26th, 2006, 1:58pm » |
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on Jul 26th, 2006, 12:54pm, Margi wrote: You know, Laurie....this in itself can be enough to set a clusterhead for a loop. It's very common for the beast to take a final hard kick at you before it leaves for good. I've seen this happen with Mike at the end of nearly every cycle. You think you're out of the woods then it comes back and just kneecaps you. I think every episodic fears going chronic and this could also be part of what's fuelling Gary's fire right now. just putting this out there, food for thought. Margi |
| Oh I am absolutely 100% positive this is part of it! The hope - and then the let-down..... And Eric - your wife is one luckly lady! I don't know what problems your child is having, but sending prayers her way. And, actually, Gary is an extremely passionate person, and it comes in a package that has moods. I've known him since we dated in 1979, and it's a part of our relationship. Every once in a while he doesn't treat people like he would like to be treated - and he always feels terrible about it later. But he's got terrible genetics from that standpoint, and yes, he probably needs professional treatment, and no, I doubt he'll ever do it. Thank God I'm the person I am, because we're a perfect fit. I normally have the patience of a God, and I trained from high school through college to work with mentally retarded children. I simply wound up with emotionally handicapped. Either way.............. I appreciate your care, but I think I'll choose to handle it in my gentler, more normal passive agressive approach, rather than the straightforward tack you suggest. I've always believed you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.......... ************************************** Side note: Just posting this must have created some kind of CB Board good karma or something. Or the good will and thoughts of all of you must be working some kind of magic. Today Gary is in the best mood he's been in a LONG time. He gave me a long speech this morning about how horrible he's been and how wonderful I've been. Of course now we hit the guilt part - which is also difficult. BUT - it could also be that 13 is the magic number. Though we dated in high school, I left for a Quaker college and Gary left for the army. We got back together 12 years later - and today is our 13th wedding anniversary. Now I REALLY have to get back to work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you again, and again, and again for all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Laurie
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____________________________________ Laurie
"It's comin' like a freight train - can't you hear it?" - Gary
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Margi
CH.com Moderator CH.com Alumnus New Board Hall of Famer
Nuthin like a good neck rub!
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Re: I don't know what to do
« Reply #20 on: Jul 26th, 2006, 2:24pm » |
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Well HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, Laurie!! Hopefully you two can find some peace in celebration tonight. No, Eric, I said 'peace', not 'piece'.....although......
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And, on the Eighth Day...God created Beer (to stop the Canadians from taking over the world) source unknown
IMHO (which in my universe is correct) kathy copelin, ch.com 8/8/06
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lizzzz
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I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
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Re: I don't know what to do
« Reply #21 on: Jul 26th, 2006, 2:59pm » |
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Hey girl, My guy is a lot like yours (maybe not as smart) But when he has clusters he is unbearable! The people who can take the pain and still be nice are amazing. When Kenny finally got through the clusters he went back to normal. I blame it on predizone (spelling) most of the time but I think pain and the waiting for the next attack are as much to blame. I thank God I toughed it out (until next time). My mother had manic depression and I know it affects people in different ways but when she was 'high' she was a lunatic and there was no mistaking it. I hope your honey is back to normal and beast free very soon. Lot of love Lizzzz
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Jackie
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Go For It!!!
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Re: I don't know what to do
« Reply #22 on: Jul 26th, 2006, 4:04pm » |
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OK, Laurie....You've gotten some great advice from some sufferers and supporters. Now, I guess we see how this plays out. Remember, we're all right here if you need us. Oh...one more thing.....Yes, you can catch more flies with sugar but sometimes it takes a swift kick in the ass to get the flies attention... Love to you and keep us posted.... Jackie
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MJ
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Re: I don't know what to do
« Reply #23 on: Jul 27th, 2006, 12:51am » |
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Hi Laurie. First and foremost you gotta take care of yourself. I once told my wife this. Whithout you we are only half of what we can be and if your all is given to me then you become only part of what you can be. So first you have to please and be you. She said it was a dumb statement but I still like it because at least I know what I'm trying to say. I think you are probably 100% right as well as everyone else regarding your mate. It's called sleep deprivation and the pshycological slam of getting a bit of a reprieve then starting all over again I know for me when I go months on end with little or no sleep the mind, moods and emotions all get a little muddled up. If a short break happens we allmost immediately and willfully forget the extremeness of the pain of CH and are very ill prepared emotionally to return to the battle so quickly. I just wanted to point out on the CB treatments that you could have RC seeds available in less than 3 days mail order or even overnighted from a reputable site like Iamshaman.com. If you dont wish to continue the wait on farming try that. You will have not just the one but potentially 2 weapons at your disposal. Not to be combined of course but your a smart woman and do do your homework. I slept a full several hrs or so on just the second night of treating with the seeds. What a wonderfull relief the sleep alone can provide. edit to add; (of course I am not discussing the above just posting in case anyones listening) Hang in there and dont forget about you.
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« Last Edit: Jul 27th, 2006, 1:01am by MJ » |
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Garys_Girl
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Kill the Beast!
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Re: I don't know what to do
« Reply #24 on: Aug 13th, 2006, 6:54pm » |
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Hard to believe the last time I was here was our anniversary. It seems so long ago now.... I can't thank everyone enough for the suggestions, thoughts - and - support! To celebrate our anniversary, Gary decided to begin detoxing off of everything, including the melatonin. He realized how terrible he'd been, and even just day 1 of detox was better than things have been for both of us. Other than some tylenol with codeine that he had to take several days ago because he broke his toe very badly, Gary is now completely (other than Protonix) drug free for about a week. He apparently IS nearing the end of this cycle (knock wood) - just shadows of varying intensities these days. He's been getting some sleep - up to five hours a night. That in and of itself is performing miracles, I think. He has been waking up very early - but these days that just means breakfast in bed for me. We were able to get out together this weekend and move all the small evergreens we wanted to replant. He drank loads of water - and no hits. IT'S SO NICE TO HAVE THE GARY I KNOW BACK!!!!! I don't know the extent to which the detox contributed to the end (knock wood) of the hits - but it clearly contributed to a happier and more emotionally stable Gary. And... we are going to order RC seeds, even if he doesn't need to use them. We just discussed it earlier today. Hopefully they'll bust the shadows. I can't thank you all enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All my best, A very happy Laurie
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____________________________________ Laurie
"It's comin' like a freight train - can't you hear it?" - Gary
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