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Topic: Why (Read 458 times) |
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mawmaw
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I don't want to bring anyones Christmas down, but if I don't get this out I will explode. Christmas was my husband Butch's favorite time of year. He passed away on Nov 22 2005. I can't do this year. I have been putting on a brave face for everyone, mostly the grandkids. Last night (Christmas Eve) no one was here but me and I have not stopped crying. It is now almost 6:30 and I have had no sleep, my 4 grandsons ranging in age from 9-4 are going to be here soon. I don't want them to see me like this. I don't want Christmas this year. I know that is awful but I hurt in my heart so bad and I can't hide it antmore.
I'm sorry. you all have been very helpful Don't want to bum anyone eles out.
MAWMAW
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Annette_Emond
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Re: Why
« Reply #1 on: Dec 25th, 2005, 9:37am » |
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Cindy, you are grieving and it is absolutely natural that you feel the way you do. In fact, given that everything is so recent, it is only just really starting to hit home that this has even happened.
Your family and friends will understand how tough it is to get through this season. The little ones just might distract you from your sadness and bring a smile to your heart if only for a moment. Live for those moments and enjoy them. I don't think you need to try and hide your feelings, or worry about upsetting anyone. It's ok to be so sad, and it's ok for the little ones to know that you are. You are in my thoughts today.
Annette
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Happiness runs in a circular motion..
you can sometimes come back around to what you thought was done.
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kimmiedawn81
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Re: Why
« Reply #2 on: Dec 25th, 2005, 10:07am » |
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My thoughts and prayers are with you Cindy. And like Annette said, people will understand that this is a difficult time for you. It is very understandable. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. If you ever need anything just let me know.
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Why
« Reply #3 on: Dec 25th, 2005, 9:15pm » |
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Maw Maw,
You are NOT bringing anyone down. We happen to be a family here and I want to help if you will let me.
I have left my home phone number on an IM to you. Please use it and I will immediately call you back on my dime. I have a wonderful group of people to help me with Family Services. I will consider it an honor for you to vent, cry or anything else we can help you with...PLEASE hon......
Linda Howell
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Kindness, is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us.
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Redd
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Re: Why
« Reply #4 on: Dec 25th, 2005, 9:22pm » |
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I lost my mother this past year as well Cindy. The grief is still very near. If there is anything I can do, if only to be an ear and a shoulder please let me know.
Linda is a terrific person and a dear friend. Please take her up on the offer to assist. He heart is bigger than Texas.
Your friend in grief,
Pegg
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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Ree
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Re: Why
« Reply #5 on: Dec 27th, 2005, 10:48pm » |
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Maw maw.... Im so sorry I hadn't seen this sooner... I have been staying away from the supporters board and posting on the regular board. I too have lost my Mom and my Dad this year... Dad in June... Mom in Nov.... they weren't my husband but I know what grief feels like. Christmas was very difficult. But now its over. I am so sure that Butch would want you to do the best that you can over the holidays. Don't let others bring you down or tell you how to grieve. Grieving is a natural process that everyone goes through differently. Sure there are phases but....not one of us can explain the way we feel in the same terms.... Crying is a good thing.... venting is even better. I am so sorry for your loss honey.... Gods love to you and prayers all around. Be well...one more holiday to go and then we can start to heal..... love ree
Well said.....Redd, Linda H....Annette....and kimmie.... you are wonderful supporters... thanks for what you do...
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| « Last Edit: Dec 27th, 2005, 10:50pm by Ree » |
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Proud Mom to US ARMY Kiowa OH58 PILOT~CWO2 SCOTT Hawaii, & USMC Vet~Now POLICE OFFICER SEAN, Citizen of the Month~ Breezy~ Nana 4 Matt/Mike&Aya, MIL To Shino Wife to Dave HI BILL!http://www.myspace.com/dungareespocket http://www.prohawaiian.com
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mrs mac
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Re: Why
« Reply #6 on: Dec 27th, 2005, 10:55pm » |
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cindy, am so sorry for your loss, of course you are upset, and don't want christmas this year, who would in a similar position!!!!
i too know how you feel, kind of, i lost my Dad 3 and a half years ago, and i still find Christmas and New Year a tough time, so can fully understand you feeling like this!!
Annette is totally correct, you shouldn't feel that you need to hide your feelings. i hope you managed to get through the day ok, and i will be thinking of you and wishing you all the best
take good care of you
sandra xxxxx
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kayarr
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Re: Why
« Reply #7 on: Dec 28th, 2005, 1:29am » |
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(((((Cindy)))))
I am so sorry you are feeling so badly.
Ya know I was going to go into some technical grief stuff but no. I just wish there was a way to take some of your pain for you.
Prayers for you and yours.
Kimberly
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Nothing is impossible! Just believe!!!!!
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maffumatt
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Holidays are the worst aren't they? They don't get any easier as the years pass either, but try to concentrate on the happy times that you two had during them in the past and feel fortunate that you had someone you loved so much to spend them with. Look forward to the next generation with pride, joy, and love, then look for Butch in them. He will live on in them.
Matt
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Grandma_Sweet_Boy
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Re: Why
« Reply #9 on: Dec 28th, 2005, 10:49pm » |
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Carol
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nani
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Re: Why
« Reply #10 on: Dec 28th, 2005, 11:27pm » |
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Oh Cindy, I'm so sorry. I can only imagine how this has been for you, honey.  Hopefully, having the grandkids around helped a little. Matt is right, Butch lives on in them. I'm sending lots of prayers and huge vibes for you. You come here any time you need to, OK? We're here for you. hugs and love, nani
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mawmaw
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Re: Why
« Reply #11 on: Jan 1st, 2006, 5:14am » |
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Thanks so much to you all and a happy new year to you. I went out of town to visit my son and his family. I just got back today. It helped to get a change of scene for a few days. I know in my head that I can make it through this, but my heart is not so sure.
Huggs to you all,
Cindy
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