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Topic: Supporters (Read 509 times) |
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MJ
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Hi
I am a clusterhead,
Just moments ago I picked myself up off the bathroom floor where I ended up in the dark following an attack of epic proportions.
I began in the light and as the darkness of pain swirled around me I closed the door and shut out the world that I know.
That world includes my wife and five children. I have watched my children become quieter in the last few weeks as have I. My only love has suffered in silence from my pain and her own pain.
She has recently gone through an incredible surgery of her own and "I felt at times helpless and unable to support her." Her physical pains have been great. She was cut in half and new discs were installed in her spine.
She is well on the road to recovery yet she still hurts.
After a 2 hour cluster attack my body and mind began to return to reality I emerged back into my real world and slowly walked out in the midst.
The first words I heard were "I am so sorry. You know I wish there were something, anything that I could do"
I hear those words often and she knows as I know that what she does is say those words. She runs all interference and controls the mood yet doesnt realize the strength in what she does. No greater support can really be found. I know her frustration levels are as high as mine. but in the twenty one years we have been together she has been the only one who has ever understood the pain I feel and I have had that pain for nearly 30 years.. Now with physical pains of her own she seems to have set them aside for a moment in support of me a clusterhead.
My youngest son at the age of 10 came up to me and said sheepishly "Dad..... Hows the head" I said ok now he said "good cause I want to build this lego thing and need some help" Said I need a few minutes yet. He said "no problem".
The computer was still on line and I sit at CH.com and read some supporter threads wich I had never read before and tears came to my eyes like they did the first time I found this site.
My typing here may seem trivial to some but what I think I am trying to say is this.
There can be no greater love and support than just being there when one emerges from whatever their darkness may be. Words are not really necessary its just the fact that all of you are there beside us when we need you the most. You keep us returning to the light from the dark we step into. We feel that you walk beside us you give us strength.
For that I want to thank you all because you have made the world a little brighter in your patience and understanding.
Thankyou
MJ
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MJ
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Cathi04
CH.com Alumnus
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Re: Supporters
« Reply #1 on: Nov 19th, 2005, 1:26am » |
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MJ
Please share this with your wife. She is the one who is always there to help, she is the one who intimately knows your pain. This is what love is all about-the ability to stand beside each other in times like this..oh, and please remember, she receives the same support from you as she recovers from this surgery.
You are both lucky, indeed.
Please encourage her to visit this site. There is a wealth of knowledge for her, and some pretty soft shoulders when she needs them. You will find the people here to be caring and supportive and ready to help you BOTH deal with the beast.
Now, better people than I will be along soon to add to this thread. Till then, hang onto each other and keep doing as you have.
Oh, and MJ, nothing is trivial here, so type away!
I'm sorry you need this site, but very glad you have found it. Welcome.
Wishing you PF,
Cathi
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Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.
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zanychef
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i'm busting with a masx cant really go wrong can i
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Re: Supporters
« Reply #2 on: Nov 19th, 2005, 2:35am » |
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as a ch'er too i know what you are talking about mj
Cathi there is no finer supporter than you!!
my 
Ian
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plenty of time to sleep now me headaches aint too bad
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Mrs_Delts
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Re: Supporters
« Reply #3 on: Nov 30th, 2005, 5:21pm » |
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Hi all i'm new to this forum, and my husband has suffered from C/H since he was around 11yrs old.
I guess i'm like many others when i say i feel totally useless when hes in full swing of an attack and i'm a tad embarressed to say sometimes i get a little sort and come across as not caring. which isn't the case as i love him dearly it just scares me to see him in such pain.
I have often thought to myself the Dr has it wrong he must have a tumor or somethig. I know it sounds silly but i just get scared.I even called an ambulance once as i thought he was going to die on me.I make him tea, a hot water bottle, hug him or leave him be depending on want he needs at the time of an attack. I don't begin to imagine what he must be going through not being a sufferer myself, so i'm hoping to get some sound advice on this forum.He is just, i hope coming to the end of a cycle and i'm sure you all know how tiring, and draining it can be for the both of us, well my husband in particular. i know what it's like to suffer pain as i have suffered with my gallbladder for 16 yrs and when i'm in an attack i want to be left alone as i can't even talk to anyone, just take my pethadine and sleep for a few hours.
well i think i have rambled on enough for now, so i will drop in regulary to see if i can pick up any tips as to what i can do to make it more comfortable for him.
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| « Last Edit: Nov 30th, 2005, 5:26pm by Mrs_Delts » |
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I'ts not often that i moan at life or wallow in self pitty,
but this moster called a cluster head is really really sh***y.
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mrs mac
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Re: Supporters
« Reply #4 on: Nov 30th, 2005, 9:25pm » |
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hi mrs delts
pull up a chair and have a read around the boards!!!
welcome to the site, and i hope you find it useful!!!
i am a supporter as well, and can totally empathise with everything you have just said. there are a lot of supporters that come here, and we are all here to help you in any way we can
feel free to ask about any thing that may be troubling you, we will always try and find an answer for you!!
looking forward to getting to know you a bit more
tc
sandra xxxx
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Mrs_Delts
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Re: Supporters
« Reply #5 on: Dec 2nd, 2005, 9:21pm » |
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well it's 2am here and i have just had to call an ambulance for my hubby Delts as i didn't know what else to do. So as i type hes in E.R , unfortunately i couldn't go with him as i have small children in the house, all i can do is worry myself silly and hope they can take this pain away for him.
Hes attack came on around 11 pm and although he was using the oxygen and had his sumatriptan the pain was getting increasingly worse.
Now i'm having an emotional moment, 1 for having to watch helplessly my husband in so much pain and 2 for the relief that he's in the best place for treatment to ease the pain of this monster.
I'm not normally a one for typing on forums for support as i'm normally the person everyone turns to in helping them, i guess i'm a good listener and not a judgemental person.
but i'm glad i was introduced to this site as i have read alot about clusters and more in the know now.
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I'ts not often that i moan at life or wallow in self pitty,
but this moster called a cluster head is really really sh***y.
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Annette_Emond
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Re: Supporters
« Reply #6 on: Dec 2nd, 2005, 9:51pm » |
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Dear Mrs Delts,
I hope you are by now able to relax a bit and know that your hubby is actually ok. Provided his diagnosis is right, and he does in fact have cluster headaches, rest assured that even though they are the most painful thing he or you will ever know, they will not kill him. I can only hope that when he gets to the ER they will have something, anything that will significantly reduce his pain before it peters out on its own. It is a huge worry to watch him go through it, I know. I can only sympathize with you and understand just how helpless you feel. My husband has been chronic for 5 years now, and I am still at a complete loss as to how to help and how much help I can be when he is under attack.
My sympathies are with you both,
Hang on, and hug him when you can.
Annette
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Happiness runs in a circular motion..
you can sometimes come back around to what you thought was done.
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kayarr
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Re: Supporters
« Reply #7 on: Dec 2nd, 2005, 10:44pm » |
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Mrs. Delts,
Now you can allow someone else to help you out. Isn't it grand. If you think about resisting support think of it this way......Don't you feel better if you are helpful and loving to your fellow human beings? Allow someone else to be blessed by helping you too
Crying helps.....I know the first time I posted here I cried. I think it was just sort of a release. I had no idea I was as overwhelmed as I was...Doh!
Talk as much as you need. There are many people here who have walked in your shoes and care tremendously.
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Nothing is impossible! Just believe!!!!!
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mrs mac
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Re: Supporters
« Reply #8 on: Dec 7th, 2005, 2:11pm » |
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hey mrs delts
have been where you are just now!!!
how is he now?? and more importantly, how are you??
please know that you never have to feel alone any more, there are lots of people in the same position as you, i will im you my phone no, and know that you can phone me any time, i have had to do it in the past, and believe me, it helped me so much!!!!
hope you are both well
sandra xxxxxx
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kayarr
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Re: Supporters
« Reply #9 on: Dec 7th, 2005, 10:45pm » |
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How are you doing now????? Just jot a note.
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Nothing is impossible! Just believe!!!!!
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Mrs_Delts
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Re: Supporters
« Reply #10 on: Dec 16th, 2005, 10:06pm » |
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thank you for all your support, my hubby is doing fine and thanks to Ben over the worst, the O2 delivered in the correct manner works wonders.
we have not had a bad attack since Ben came to see us thank god,
but i do feel for all of you that are still having to suffer this pain,
I myself are doing fine, looking forward to a great xmas (pain free i hope )so i would just like to wish all of you a merry xmas and a healthly new year.
take care all.
mandy x
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I'ts not often that i moan at life or wallow in self pitty,
but this moster called a cluster head is really really sh***y.
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Lissa
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Re: Supporters
« Reply #11 on: Jan 9th, 2006, 12:23pm » |
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Hats off to all supporters.
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Episodic cluster survivor since 1995 at age 16.
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