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Topic: clingy (Read 410 times) |
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teach123
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My husband was recently diagnosed with CH's in June. He has been very clingy, insisting that I always have my cell phone on and even begging me to take off work or come home from a vacation to be with him. Is this normal? Curious. 
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Grandma_Sweet_Boy
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Re: clingy
« Reply #1 on: Aug 24th, 2004, 9:34pm » |
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Is he that clingy normally? My supporter is a wonderful guy, but as to expecting him to give up his life when I'm in cycle - never happening! If he's here, that's okay, but I've dealt with this for over 30 years and have done it on my own for a lot of that time.
Maybe he's just afraid - the pain is beyond belief and perhaps he thinks something will happen to him if you're not there. He's pretty new at this yet.
Maybe you should try and get him to explain the need he seems to have. Better still have him get in here and read all the posts and see if that helps him to have a better handle on what's happening.
Good Luck and remember to take care of yourself.
Carol
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Margi
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Re: clingy
« Reply #2 on: Aug 25th, 2004, 10:11am » |
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Hi Teach, I'm a supporter too. I can't say that my hubby has ever been the "clingy" type but I do know that when he goes into cycle he does go through a certain amount of anxiety at the thought of what lies ahead. However, he's been clustering for more than 20 years and we've been together 18 of those years. I don't know what it was like for him in the earlier years.
I cringed when I read that you went on vacation without your hubby when he is in a cluster cycle, but then I remember that this is new to both of you. He does need you there, Teach - I know you're both on a learning curve but you'll soon realize that even if he wants to be alone during an attack, he needs a hug once it passes. Even just to reassure himself that he's still alive.
Being a cluster supporter is tough work. You will experience feelings of fear, yourself, as well as total helplessness, anger, frustration, solitude - the list is long. Just know that YOU are not alone with this either. There are a few of us supporters here who have walked in your shoes.
Grandma gave you some excellent advice (as she always does) - get your hubby here so he can read and realize that HE's not alone either. Finding other cluster people is perhaps the best and biggest defense against the beast.
Hang in there.
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synergy
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Re: clingy
« Reply #3 on: Aug 25th, 2004, 11:04am » |
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Im a supporter to hun - my partner has never really been clingy but he does go through some days not wanting to be by himself. I think it is the intense fear of the beast and pain that does this just like margi said.
One thing that has helped me deal with marcs CCH is just knowing that im not the only one who is watching a loved one go through this, it saddens me that there are more people with this pain but it is also a comfort that we are not the only ones.
Keep posting hun - and welcome to your new family on the net!!!
luv sarah xx
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Ree
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Re: clingy
« Reply #4 on: Sep 23rd, 2004, 12:57pm » |
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My husband calls me where ever I am when he has a kip 10 type attack... i wouldnt say he does this all the time but mostly if he is all alone........ I think he thinks he is going to die sometimes.
I wouldnt use the word clingy either. Sometimes I think he gets too independant and i like to be kept up on how many attacks he is having etc......... Good luck. It sure isnt easy... love to you ree
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miapet
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Re: clingy
« Reply #5 on: Sep 24th, 2004, 6:21pm » |
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Welcome . . .and sorry the beast found your door.
D isn't 'clingy' .. .but I do keep my phone with me at all times . . .even in the middle of a lesson, if he calls, I answer . . .
I won't repeat all the great words that have already been spoken . . .but I will add: read read read .. become the best advocate you can be! Take care of yourself, and as told to me by a great supporter (Jackie): enjoy every pain free moment!!
*positive light and energy*
miapet
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msgq
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Re: clingy
« Reply #6 on: Oct 5th, 2004, 4:19pm » |
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Hi. I'm a supporter, too. My husband had CH's and everytime he enters a cycle the fear level rises.
I wouldn't say he was clingy. But, I would say that he is very appreciative of the fact that he no longer has to go through them alone. We were married later and for the first 8 years he suffered alone.
Supporting is hard work. It's sometimes scary.
Hang in there with him. And, do take time for you. (Something everyone here has reminded me of!)
Kathy
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merdjb
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Re: clingy
« Reply #7 on: Oct 18th, 2004, 1:05pm » |
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Hye, everyone...I'm back..unfortunately a year sooner then I was hoping...we were on 2 year cycles, but the beast came back a year early this time and doesn't seem to want to go away. I remember signing off last time the cycle ended and feeling guilty that I was SO ready to give up the support group you all always prove to be, but it was almost 6 months before it went away the last time and it had taken it's toll on both of us. Michael isn't clingy, I wouldn't say...we tend to be each other's shadow anyway, but he does like having me near when he's in the throws of a headache. If nothing more to talk him through it....10 mins...20 mins...should be peaking...should be coming down...etc....also he compeltely ceases his rifghtside neck and suffers from a ton of pain as a result even when not having a headache...I tried to rub it and keep it somewhat less tense. I couldn't imagine leaving him to deal alone. While it hurts me so to watch him, I at least now know he's not dying and before they were diagnosed several years ago I wasn't so sure. I try to keep each cycle in perspective and know they might end, although this cycle has been completely different and I worry he might be moving from cyclical to chronic...any thoughts on this...do you know when that's happening or does the treatment of massive amounts of steroids, depokot and imitrix stop working?
Thanks again for being here when I need you...it was time for a reality check and I feel like I'm back home again!
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