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Topic: I think I finally am where weve needed (Read 288 times) |
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calmprices
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hez the luff of my life
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I think I finally am where weve needed
« on: Feb 7th, 2004, 1:27am » |
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 Im new here, I cant read up first though I am coming here first thing in the morning to.
Im just unable to express the happiness at finding all of you, like me, who are the watchers and the quieters and the comforters. I swear I just want to cry, lol. (Biting it back actually but the relief!)
I never knew something like this existed until I met my husband, who is the greatest man in the world to me. Id just come out of domestic abuse and this guy was the one who helped me reopen, and to flourish. And then all I could do was gape the first time I saw him in that pain. (I now call it squiggy eye, from the Popeye movie, lol) Its been near to four years.
His ex had screamed at him to 'go to bed if it hurt like that' and would even scream at him with this. Its easy to see that he's in hell with it.
Me, I just cant stand to see it for him. I would gladly take it in his place than to see him just writhe and moan. Ive felt frustration like nothing else when he gets these things. I have to be very careful because if he nods off before me, I cant move for an hour, because if he has just went to sleep and gets wakened even slightly, it triggers it. He wont let me sleep away from him to help it. He just looks at me and begs me to forgive him but please hold him so he knows hes not alone. This is not a little weak man either.
It isnt as severe (yet) as what I have seen from some of your posts, and I didnt even fathom it could happen to kids! (Which worries me, because my son had a funny episode with his head...) I have to say that I admire all of you, and maybe just a little - me too? 
You arent going to just say, 'oh, ok' when I say cluster headaches and keep talking loud or act as if its nbd. 
Thats what I hate the most. There is so much I want to learn, so much I would just like to share from you and with you, and I feel as if Ive come home. (Dont think me nuts, Im just euphoric with relief) Its so stinking hard sometimes, I cant get mad.
One thing I have found with my husband that can work, and Im sure you have too, but just in case, ... At the first tingle, I start trying to ...reverse the blood flow?  It has really seemed to help alot to shorten his, or sometimes even stop them in the onset. (which is rare) But I would do anything short of killing him when he begs me to. I just feel guilty for getting frustrated at when he gets them. I cant let him know. I just turn off lights, create absolute quiet, and rub his back.
But thank you so much for having this board, I hope to get to know you quite well now that Ive found a support group. This is a great day for me!
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TxBasslady
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Re: I think I finally am where weve needed
« Reply #1 on: Feb 7th, 2004, 2:46am » |
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Welcome to the board
Ch is certainly a nightmare to those of us that suffer from them.
Having great supporters..........is a dream come true!
This board is a place for both 
Lifelong friends will be made here
PF vibes being sent to your sufferer....
Jean
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How lucky I am... to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye too.
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Jackie
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Re: I think I finally am where weve needed
« Reply #2 on: Feb 7th, 2004, 9:40am » |
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Hello Calmprices.....welcome to the board.
You sound like a wonderful, caring supporter. Hang in there.....things do get better.
Keep in touch...we're here to help.
Good luck,
Jacks
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Margi
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Re: I think I finally am where weve needed
« Reply #3 on: Feb 7th, 2004, 11:06am » |
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Hi Calm,
Jackie's right - you sound like a wonderful supporter. You've got just the right mix of patience and perserverance - precious commodities!
I can relate to every single word in your post - my husband has been a sufferer for more than 20 years (episodic) and we've been together 18 years.
One thing I would suggest to you is to make some time for YOU. (yes, Jackie here i go again). When he's not getting hit, go draw yourself a nice bubblebath, light some candles and lock the door. He'll be ok for the time you're in there and YOU need to recenter yourself and just block everything else out.
Or go do some physical exercise - burn off that frustration. Go shopping - distract yourself, even if it's just for an hour. You'll be much better off to deal with all the complexities that clusters bring to a marriage, trust me. Don't lose sight of yourself. Great supporters aren't worth much if they are falling apart inside. Know what I mean?
Keep up the great work, lady - you're doing an awesome job already!!
Hugs,
Margi
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calmprices
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hez the luff of my life
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Thanks so much
« Reply #4 on: Feb 7th, 2004, 12:05pm » |
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Its so wonderful to find all of you and just...to know that Im not alone. One thing thats odd is I think that my dad (who is 61) has had symptoms at times. And my son, but I am likely just looking for it in my son, because Im scared  . (He's my little one that was an option that I gladly selected when I bought my husband, lol)  He got that bad flu this year and he would grab his head and scream, and you know what ran through my head, Oooooooooh God help me, please not two! He just looked at me like' Mommy youre supposed to take my hurt away!'
My husbands dont seem as bad as alot of your situations, but its really bad enough. Just one is not acceptable for me to see him have. When he was driving a rig for a little while, he went a year in remission. But when we go over my parents house, though there are no smells or anything, he gets a really bad one. (And he loves my family, so hes not faking, lol) He waks out and it goes away instantly?
His are about 90% of the time at night. I know that all of you have been where I was for so long, trying to 'figure it out'. He was tired this day, he ate this today, he went here today, he sat too long in front of the pc, etc... You can make yourself crazy like that!!
I really thank you for all your kind words of support, those really do help. Reading your posts Ive also noticed some things that I never caught too. Like the depression some times. His is more of just a withdrawl, he vaccuums out and I have to "Honey, dont turn your back on your life". He is going to adore this site!
From the little Ive been able to read so far, his are episodic. But the night part doesnt go into remission as much as having the day ones. He had an MRI and CT, and was diagnosed with them about three years ago. They had him on something that didnt help at all when we were first dating, but I dont remember what it was. My dad got Imitrex when he had one (we thought that he had a stroke, omg) and that got me to take Chris and try it. He had a severe love/hate relationship. They went away, but the cost was way too much. Hed dry heave. (while the pain was still there hard but ebbing) I couldnt ask him to do that. I do wonder though if there is something at my parents house that is a HUGE trigger, because of my dad and husband both. (that whole town is built over an old coal mine thats been filled with who knows what, and the house is old. (A side note, every girl who grew up there had very severe female troubles. I had a hyseterectomy two years ago at 30. There were 6-8 girls and they All had problems. But how would you find out what was there?)
Sometimes he lets me touch him, sometimes it makes his skin crawl. Sometimes I can talk low, sometimes he runs from me, its never textbook. I just celebrate when he says he's having a normal headache, and not a CH. That I can fix. I hate that I cant fix these. If I had one wish, that would be it, period.
We are both smokers - with my past, if I didnt have Some vice Id be dead, lol, and so would he with his past, present, and future of dealing with these. lol
My name is Lisa Price, my husbands name is Chris, and I hope to talk to you all often. Again, I cant thank whoever started this enough. I now have a foundation to anchor on, instead of just floating and waiting on something to grab! But the greatest thing is that I can learn. I detest being non productive, and while with this I cant bang it out of existence, I can now fight with something more than a feather! lol
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Woobie
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Re: I think I finally am where weve needed
« Reply #5 on: Feb 8th, 2004, 9:41am » |
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Hello Calmprices.......
Welcome home! You will love it here if you stick around.. you will fall in love with these people!
(****MISS YOU GUYS!)
And listen to them too - they're brilliant! And - I am always the one who is LATE with responses... and who can never add to anything, because it's already been said...
But WELCOME!
You sounds like good people. Stick around.
Tina 
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Ree
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Re: I think I finally am where weve needed
« Reply #6 on: Feb 19th, 2004, 12:07am » |
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wanted to say welcome too... glad these guys are holding down the fort while my stress is slowly depleting. Hang in there Calm and know that we are all here for you... good luck ree
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