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Topic: Running out of steam........ (Read 349 times) |
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KimM
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Hello to one and all. Mikey's wife here and running low on support. I never post, just lurk, as I never know what to say, or what I should or shouldn't say on here. Just needed to vent tonight before I explode, or crash. Feel like I've been a really crappy supporter lately. As you may or may not know Mike is chronic, and boy is it really crankin right now. Saw today that he was almost out of some particular medicine that does really help him, no, not trex, and that terrifies me. Between trying to keep some sort of normal life for the kids going on here, working, and doing all I can for him, now I have the horror of the ER hanging over me. Now I feel like I'm saying Me Me Me, he's the one physically in this hell. There's the guilt that's tearing me up, I should be thankful that I'm a supporter and not a sufferer, but damn it gets so hard to deal with sometimes. Went off on the boys tonight for no reason, just lost it over stupid stuff, this stress is stressing me out! I would probably crawl under a rock if I knew Mike read this but something just made me post tonight. Guess I'll go get on my pity pot for the rest of the evening. I don't know what I'm looking for back, just maybe a morale boost or support fill up. My tank is running low. Ya'll have a good night.
Kim
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Mastifflvr28
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Re: Running out of steam........
« Reply #1 on: Oct 19th, 2003, 7:54pm » |
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Hiya Kim,
I chatted with ya once in chat.
VIBES going up to you.
I'm not a supporter (except on here) so I don't really have any good advise to help you cope. I'll leave that
up to the REAL supporters...and damn they are good!!
But to trade places...I would never trade places.
I couldn't handle being on the watching and supporting side. I got a good dose of that in NY, and I'd rather SUFFER!!!
Sorry you guys have to go through this.
Vibes going up to YOU and Mikey.
Mast
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Mastifflvr28 (aka Michelle A.)
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OXYGEN!!!
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Jackie
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Re: Running out of steam........
« Reply #2 on: Oct 19th, 2003, 8:06pm » |
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Hi Kim,
My hubby, Blake, is a chronic sufferer too. Yes, it can get difficult at times. Sometimes you start feeling like you are running on empty for sure.....especially when they are in high cycle.
I don't know what meds. Mikey is on or what he has tried....but there is surely something out there that can give him some relief. It took us years to find a good combination. Verapamil, Lithium and Topomax has been the miracle combo for Blake.
Vent away when you feel the need....talk to us and we'll help the best we can. Always remember that there are those of us who do understand. It's a hard road but I'm gonna bet you'll rise to the occassion. Hang in there, Sweetie, there are better days ahead....I promise....and don't be to hard on yourself. You are only human and a tired one these days too.
Take a little time for yourself even if it only a bubble bath (advice from Margi...  )
Big Hug.....
Jacks 
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Woobie
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Re: Running out of steam........
« Reply #3 on: Oct 20th, 2003, 7:31am » |
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Well, I'm gonna give you a hug too... 
I understand... and I'm sorry! Jackie said it all (again....... damn, she's good!)
She's right - you're only human.. and you need a bath! LOL 
hang on.........
Tina! 
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| « Last Edit: Oct 20th, 2003, 7:35am by Woobie » |
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cathy
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Re: Running out of steam........
« Reply #4 on: Oct 20th, 2003, 2:22pm » |
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Hi Kim....you know what, when I read posts like that it makes me smile, because it dawns on me that im only human too....you should say what you feel and feel what you say.... don't lurk we are all in the same boat and the more in the boat the easier it becomes to row..... 
I hope Mickey finds some PF times soon and that you take time out for YOU because without you in tip top condition you can't be the best support for Mickey, it's a viscious circle and the only way to break it is to TAKE A BATH....  .....don't stop posting now anyway, cos DJ has put a whole load of new smilies...and I just love those.......there is one worry though, now when I dream about people they all have huge round yellow faces with massive grins.... 
Cathy
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My own tears would mean nothing to me, if I could stop you from just shedding one....
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Leesa
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Re: Running out of steam........
« Reply #5 on: Oct 20th, 2003, 11:09pm » |
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Kim, we talked today gal and Jackie and Margi and all the supporters here can and will tell ya we all want to crawl under rocks alot of days. I know I do. But we dont cuz our CHers need us so very much and we love them so very much. So take time for you, a bath, a long walk, take a bat to a fence post (works wonders HEHEHEHE) do what you need to for you to keep you going. If you need me Im here gal. You got the # so use it!! Like most supporters I would take the pain Dave deals with in a heart beat but I cant so I do what I do best take care of him. Just like all the supporters here do. YOU are Mikey's rock!! Take care of YOU!!!
Love, Leesa
PS: did ya see me on da table?? LMAO 
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"The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it." General H. Norman Schwarzkopf
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KimM
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Re: Running out of steam........
« Reply #6 on: Oct 21st, 2003, 9:21am » |
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Hey guys, thanks so much for the uplift, cyber hugs, vibes, etc. Needed that! Haven't been on since I posted the other day, just been collapsing at night. Thought I would peek in while I'm at work today though. Now you guys got me wanting a bath!  Don't think my ladies here in the kitchen at work would go for me laying out in our big sink here. Jackie, over the past six years Mike has tried so many different meds in all combos. Most didn't help, the ones that have he's had bad reactions to. He's on Depakote 1500, Verap. 720 as the main preventatives, that's sounded funny, if they were preventing anything, he wouldn't be getting hit 7 to 8 times a day now would he?  I don't know, just start getting really down with everything sometimes, it's like I do pretty good for a while, then it just all crashes on me. This damn dark cloud been following me around hanging over my head for too many days now. But oh well, what else can I do, take a bath, come here, get rejuvied, and go at it some more. Had a great talk with Leesa yesterday. Just to talk to someone that has a freakin clue what this is like helps me so much. I hope you guys know how much words like these mean to someone like me. Not feeling so alienated now. And by the way, reading ya'lls posts, first time I've had a good laugh in quite a while, actually felt like smiling. Hope to talk to you guys more than I have in the past, gotta get better bout that. Thanks again, hope ya'll have a great day.
Kim
P.S. Leesa, get back to ya when I look for that pic. LOL
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Margi
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Re: Running out of steam........
« Reply #7 on: Oct 21st, 2003, 9:55am » |
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Hi Kim
Thanks for posting and letting us know that you're doing a little better. It really does help to vent and there honestly are times when only other supporters can understand the point you've reached. You've gotten some awesome advice here and I'm so glad to see that you and Leesa were able to hook up!!
Hey, does Mike use Oxygen as an abortive? It really can make a HUGE difference in the battle. Just a thought.
Hang in there, Kim - sounds like you're doing a fantastic job of supporting your hubby. Know that you've always got a soft place to land here, ok? There's always someone around.
Big hugs,
Margi
and, p.s.  there IS actually very serious methodology to the bath. LOL The PERFECT supporters' bath, mind you, consists of lots of bubbles, candlelight, and a wee glass of wine. It has amazing restorative powers!! It's like a mini holiday without ever leaving the house. You can lock the door but still be within earshot if absolutely necessary. But yeah, I dont' recommend doing it at work though. They may frown on that.
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| « Last Edit: Oct 21st, 2003, 9:58am by Margi » |
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Jackie
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Re: Running out of steam........
« Reply #8 on: Oct 21st, 2003, 2:01pm » |
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Hi Kim,
We're glad to hear that you are feeling better. Sometimes just saying things out loud helps. We'll be here when ya need us... Hang in there, Sweetie.
Hugs,
Jacks
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KimM
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Re: Running out of steam........
« Reply #9 on: Oct 23rd, 2003, 9:01am » |
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Thanks Margi and Jackie, sorry, just got to read your posts today. Been so busy here at work and our computer monitor at home took a turn for the worst. Gotta buy a new one today. Yeah Margi, Mike has all the O2 one could hope for but it doesn't do anything for him. It did a little at first, but he just doesn't get any benefit from it anymore. Thanks so much for all your support, I really appreciate it. Take care and have a great day!
Kim
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