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Topic: Support for a Supporter... (Read 2038 times) |
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Ree
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Support for a Supporter...
« on: Sep 13th, 2003, 5:57pm » |
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what happens when your supporter needs support? and why arent sufferers that suck the life out of us good supporters... just a ??????????? for all of you...
I have had the life sucked out of me, been the mother father sister and daughter in law............... the shopper the bill payer etc etc for going on 12 weeks...
I know the suffers will say wahhhhhhh when I say I have had a MIGRAINE FOR 3 DAYS with no support. PAIN not like an icepick but pain that drains the life out of someone and causes a defect in my sight. Do you sufferers think that just because you suffer intense pain for several attacks a day... or have a more severe pain you dont have to be understanding of someone elses pain no matter what it is??? I need to know this... why is there always some fucken competition on whose pain is worse going on with the headache sufferers in the world... sure your pain is intense... mine sucks too..
Now you can do as I did and take what you need here and leave the rest... Only the sufferers that also get MIgraine have been at all sympathetic to me... but the rest of you please get over yourself. ree
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OneEyeBlind
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Re: Support for a Supporter...
« Reply #1 on: Sep 13th, 2003, 11:25pm » |
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Ree, I think perhaps you have had too much on your plate lately. I remember the days when I came to the board and you had nothing but nice things to say. The turtle was a really nice guy that no one wanted to make soup of !!!!!!! Sorry to say but that ain't you anymore. I understand that, going through the stress I am. Perhaps a break would do you good ??? I realize that migraines suck ........... they suck the life out of ya cause they don't go away. It's kind of like an absessed tooth. It just don't go away especially when you have no dental insurance and can't get it fixed !!!!!!! Me comparing an absessed tooth to a migraine is like you comparing a cluster to a migraine. THEY ARE NOT THE SAME THING. The pain is different. The stuff ya gotta deal with is different. The level of pain is different, the frequency of occurance is different and the time it takes to pass is different. You are trying to compare BREAST CANCER to LUKEMIA !!!!!!!!!!!!! Yea, they are both cancers ........... but give me a break.
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| « Last Edit: Sep 14th, 2003, 12:09am by OneEyeBlind » |
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ClusterChuck
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Re: Support for a Supporter...
« Reply #2 on: Sep 14th, 2003, 3:02am » |
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Ree, love, you have been an excellent supporter both here, and I am sure, to your hubby.
I don't suffer migraines, but I know that headaches SUCK, whatever type they are! I feel bad you are having all this thrown on you at this time.
You have sent many PF vibes out, well I am sending MEGA PF VIBES to YOU right now.
Hang in there girl!
Chuck
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minnie
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Re: Support for a Supporter...
« Reply #3 on: Sep 14th, 2003, 9:41am » |
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Ree,
I'm sorry your going through such a hard time  .Pain is pain and it really makes it hard to concentrait on all the everyday things that need to be done.I know how bad migraines can be I support Billy through his and he supports me through mine.I must say I am very lucky I am the one always telling Billy that my pain doesn't begin to compare to ch . He reminds me that its awful to suffer and it doesn't matter what causes it.
I'm not trying to be wise but have you talked with Dave about what you need him to do for you when your down with a migraine? Thats one of the first things we tell a new supporter about dealing with their cluster head.Migaines and clusters need to be dealt with in such different ways maybe he honestly doesn't know how to help and how much to help.If you need to thats the place to start I'm sorry thats about the only advice I can think of now.E-mail me if you need to vent more I really try to be a great listener.most of all take care of yourself!!! Let Dave and the rest of the family know that when your in that much pain they will have to help you and take care of each other .You need to recharge you batteries so you can have the strength to be one of the greatest supporters I know.Maybe if they try do do everything you do they will relize you need help and support too.
One more thing please remember that everyone is different.for every one cluster sufferer who makes a misreable supporter theres 5 who are exelent supporters.(we'll just have to train those that don't quite get it  )Some clusterheads only have those of us at the CHMB for support.Lucky for them they found a family thats cares and know what they go through.
Hope things start to get better damn migraines 
pfdan
Minnie
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Miss_Deleny
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Re: Support for a Supporter...
« Reply #4 on: Sep 14th, 2003, 10:20am » |
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I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time Ree. I don't know how a CH feels but I damn sure know how a migraine feels! And yes, it can be very painful! To me it doesn't matter what type of HA you have, pain is still pain! I feel lucky that Christopher is as much a supporter to me as I am to him. I think that all CH suffers should try and support their supporter when they can .. we supporters do have our days when we need supporting too.
Wishing you PFDaN's Ree,
~April~
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BillyJ.
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Re: Support for a Supporter...
« Reply #5 on: Sep 14th, 2003, 11:18am » |
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Ree,
Pain Sucks.Type and cause don't matter.Just
because one is more more intense that does not make
the other any less.The people who laugh about
migraines obviously have never had one.They need to
take the advice they give and get over themselves.
You need to find a doc who, a- is knowlegable about
headaches b-will treat your migraines as the serious
condition that they are.Please look here- http://www.achenet.org/physicians/
I have not found a migraines message board that
is anything but BS and sympathy.Like clusters you need
to be proactive in your own treatment.There are many
migraine meds,but you need to keep trying til you find
the right ones for you.
I would be glad to talk to you about migraine meds
and maybe help you find what works for you.Migraines
CAN be controlled if not prevented.To suffer for days
because you don't have the right meds is sad indeed.
Feel free to e-mail me if you would like advice and
suggestions on migraines(no home remeddies I
promise! LOL)
For now,Pain free wishes and a big cyber hug to you,
Billy
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jonny
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Re: Support for a Supporter...
« Reply #6 on: Sep 14th, 2003, 1:58pm » |
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Ree,
You know I love you.
Got CH?......No?......STFU!!!!
.......................................jonny
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cathy
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Re: Support for a Supporter...
« Reply #7 on: Sep 14th, 2003, 2:25pm » |
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Ree.....what can I say...your having a bad time....hope things improve for you...
Nancy....your in my prayers...along with your family
Cathy
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BobG
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Re: Support for a Supporter...
« Reply #8 on: Sep 14th, 2003, 3:11pm » |
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Ree.......
So sorry to hear you're hurting  and pray the damn pain goes away and stays away. That would be kool.
I don't have migraines and won't compare them to my headaches but I know pain is pain and we all need support from time to time.
Please stay strong. Your support here is invaluable but please take a break if you need to. We'll wait.
Pain hurts! Pain sucks!
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Ree
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Re: Support for a Supporter...
« Reply #9 on: Sep 14th, 2003, 6:27pm » |
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I never compared my pain Nancy read my post again... I only asked for understanding... ree
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| « Last Edit: Sep 14th, 2003, 6:27pm by Ree » |
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suzy617
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Re: Support for a Supporter...
« Reply #10 on: Sep 15th, 2003, 4:16am » |
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Ree,
I feel for all people's pain. I dont just sympathize with other CH'ers. I am always a supporter to friends who suffer in any form.
I have also walked in your shoes and have had to be mother, father, daughter, etc. when I felt my family had no understanding as to what I was going thru.
That is where my friends come in. Thank God for friends...
I hope you find some peace and pf days in your life soon. Hang in there.
Hugs to you,
Suzy
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Darleen
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Re: Support for a Supporter...
« Reply #11 on: Sep 15th, 2003, 7:39am » |
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Ree,
So sorry to hear all the shit you are goin through. You certainly do deserve a break but that is always one of the problems with being a supporter (and in your case a sufferer of migraines) is that we don't seem to get a break.
Many PF vibes going out to you and to Dave as well so that I hope this frustrating and painful time will pass soon.
D  
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Elaine
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Re: Support for a Supporter...
« Reply #12 on: Sep 15th, 2003, 8:39am » |
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Ree I have both Clusters and Migrains and I can compare them. You know what! I want to die when I get either of them. The pain in clusters is bad, but I know it will stop in a hour or so. I walk and I cry and I rock, but I know in a hour or so I can go on with life till the next one. I can't think for that hour. If you yelled fire I could run, maybe into the fire but I could run LOL!
I tell you what when I get a migrain, I can't raise my head, I puck my head off, and I can't see or think. I am just there if you yelled fire I would still be in that bed. I couldn't get up. I know it can last as long as a week. I can't do anything. When I get one I know I am down a week. Sometimes imitrex doesn't always work on it!
To me they both suck they both hurt like hell. They both caan be disabling and effect our life. If people don't think we Migrainers haven't felt like caving in then they are wrong. I don't want either one of them. I understand your pain and how you must feel. I will back ya any way I can. Pain is pain.
Cancer is cancer BREAST CANCER to LUKEMIA! They both kill! I lost a good friend that had Lukemia. All Cancer sucks and all cancer treatment sucks. Some people live some die. It don't matter what kind of cancer you have it can take you out! In my book Cancer is Cancer and once you have it you live with it the rest of your life! Just like Migrains and Clusters they are ours for life!
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Mastifflvr28
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Re: Support for a Supporter...
« Reply #13 on: Sep 15th, 2003, 8:50am » |
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I think since I got ch's I've become even MORE sympathetic to any kind of head pain.
And I think Ree is a special case here. She's not like some newbie coming off the street saying "I have migraines"...THOSE don't belong here. But Ree has spent several years here supporting US. I think she deserves a little support herself. A little "payback". She's put in her time. Time for us to "give" to her.
Nana Ree Ree, I hope you start feeling better and I'm sending up PF vibes to ya.
For other "migrainers" who dare not post here, hsg has an "all headaches" forum that you can post in, and be comfortable, and help each other.
http://www.headachesupportgroups.com and click on the forums link at the top.
Love all ya supporters,
Mast
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TxBasslady
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Re: Support for a Supporter...
« Reply #14 on: Sep 15th, 2003, 10:59am » |
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Even though I am new, I can understand what Ree is saying and where she is coming from. My hubby has been a great supporter for me, and it is very unfair for us not to think about what they feel. He never leaves my side during an attack and tells me every night before bed to make sure that I wake him in the event of an attack.
He has no ch or migraines, but I have seen the pain in his face when I go through this. I feel guilty alot, cause he gives up his sleep and takes all this time with me. I have only gone through 1 visit from the "beast" without him, and I was scared to death. I need him....and it makes me feel so loved that he sacrifices so much for me.
We are selfish...by nature. But it doesn't give us the right to think that we are the only ones here that suffer.
CH takes a toll on ALL involved.........
We need to love these supporters......I for 1 could not make it through this without them.
Much love and pf vibes to ya, Ree
Jean
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cathy
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Re: Support for a Supporter...
« Reply #15 on: Sep 15th, 2003, 12:18pm » |
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on Sep 15th, 2003, 8:50am, Mastifflvr28 wrote:I've become even MORE sympathetic to any kind of head pain.
some newbie coming off the street saying "I have migraines"...THOSE don't belong here. A bit of a contradiction wouldn't you say..??
But Ree has spent several years here supporting US. I think she deserves a little support herself. A little "payback". She's put in her time. Time for us to "give" to her. I don't see ANYONE not supporting Ree...??
For other "migrainers" who dare not post here, hsg has an "all headaches" forum that you can post in, and be comfortable, and help each other.
http://www.headachesupportgroups.com and click on the forums link at the top. Sorry I thought they didn't belong here...and you wonder why they dare NOT post here... 
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Obviously a lot of these replies are to Nancy, but you know there are alot of us here who are having a bad time and it's not always cluster related....we don't take it out on each other thats not what it's all about, if you got something to say just say it, lets not beat about the bush!!!!
Cathy...also having a hard time...
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Mastifflvr28
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Re: Support for a Supporter...
« Reply #16 on: Sep 15th, 2003, 12:27pm » |
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Cathy, I have NO idea what you are saying. I wasn't posting to Nancy, I was posting to Ree.
I suggest you go read the archives from a couple of years ago...look for ONE migrainer to step foot on this board...talk about scary.
Quote:some newbie coming off the street saying "I have migraines"...THOSE don't belong here. A bit of a contradiction wouldn't you say..??
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I don't know what you are saying...what does this mean?
I'm not even sure how to respond to you because I don't know what you are saying, but obviously something I posted (which was all support for Ree) pissed you off.
So...can you clarify?
Mast
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Ree
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Re: Support for a Supporter...
« Reply #17 on: Sep 15th, 2003, 12:36pm » |
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Thanks for the replies... I totally appreciate it... I love you all~~~ you are so special to my family. Ree
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Ree
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Re: Support for a Supporter...
« Reply #18 on: Sep 15th, 2003, 1:03pm » |
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Obviously Nancy has a right to her opinion...I have emailed Nancy about her comments. I have been nothing but supportive to Nancy. The only thing that bothered me about what Nancy said was that I used to be nice and I'm not now...and that I could possibly use a break. Since when has anyone here been elected to tell anyone to take a break Cathy please dont turn this into a fighting fest. When I dont like a thread I dont post in it. If you dont like something you can take what you need and leave the rest. No one knows better than me that this is a Cluster site I never compared CH pain to Migraine pain she misread what I said and took off with it... I also came looking for support and got none from her... just ridicule. No one was talking to Nancy, those were my friends talking to me, several of them have both Cluster and Migraine. This is a Supporter board, I have to feel as the rest of you that I have a place to go to and vent. This is my place too. I'm sorry that Nancy doesnt think I am sweet and nice and angelic... as she put it give me a break even the nicest of people have a bad day. Ree
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OneEyeBlind
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Re: Support for a Supporter...
« Reply #19 on: Sep 15th, 2003, 3:42pm » |
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Ree, I had a headache when I posted my response. Sorry about that. I was less than tolerant due to my personal circumstances and pain. I will try and stay off the board when in pain, as this sometimes makes me less than sympathetic.
I was however trying to be nice when I suggested you take a break and re-group. We all need that now and then. If you don't feel that I have the right to say that after all the support I have given to the board, just email me ... and whenever you post I will be sure to keep my mouth shut. I have noticed that you don't post to anything I post, so I beleive returning the favor would only be fair.
Now let's not make this a fight fest. If you need to talk this over more, let's keep it offline and to email as you initially suggested.
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jonny
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Re: Support for a Supporter...
« Reply #20 on: Sep 15th, 2003, 4:13pm » |
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Shut up all of youse.....LOL
Ree, is it 49 or 48 days now?
.............................jonny
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rumplestiltskin
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SUPPORTERS
« Reply #21 on: Sep 15th, 2003, 11:20pm » |
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Maybe I was meant to stumble upon this thread.
I believe this is the SUPPORTERS forum. As a CHer I rarely post here, even though Margi gave me the OK when it began. I then married a CHer...making me both sufferer and supporter. So much for my credentials.
If I ever feel the need to vent, rant and rage about my role as a SUPPORTER and against that headache girl I live with...this is where I will come...the SUPPORTERS forum. My feeling of safety in doing that comes from DJ and Margi's efforts. I would then expect my fellow SUPPORTERS to reply...or not.
SUPPORTERS need to have this safe place to do that.
...soo I guess what I'm driving at...is...let the supporters work things out for themselves on this forum...if yer a sufferer and don't like what you see here...too fucking bad...who asked ya? Go babble on the "general" forum. Have some respect. Give SUPPORTERS their space.
Good Grief
den (and G says she agrees)
PS: Margi would probably "moderated" the "lack of support" away...she is missed.
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Ree
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Re: Support for a Supporter...
« Reply #22 on: Sep 15th, 2003, 11:30pm » |
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thanks and lets end it........... ok cool... 
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cathy
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Re: SUPPORTERS
« Reply #23 on: Sep 16th, 2003, 1:20am » |
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on Sep 15th, 2003, 11:20pm, rumplestiltskin wrote:
PS: Margi would probably "moderated" the "lack of support" away...she is missed.
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Excuse MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE but ......WHERE is this LACK of support...as far as I can see everybody has supported Ree, I may not have agreed with what one person posted or maybe it was the way she posted or maybe it's just me, but whatever, all I see is support....
Cathy
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Margi
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Re: Support for a Supporter...
« Reply #24 on: Sep 16th, 2003, 10:35am » |
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Eating some crow here, but....I'm back.
This whole thread of Ree's was the deciding factor for me.
Ree, honey - I'm sorry you've been hurting and I'm GLAD that you posted about it. This IS the Supporter's haven here and I'll be DAMNED if it becomes anything else.
And, no - you do NOT have the STFU if you want to talk about your migraines here.
Everyone....please play nice.
Cathy, you ok?
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