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Topic: May not be cluster related but then again.. (Read 491 times) |
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nancyc
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May not be cluster related but then again..
« on: Sep 10th, 2003, 10:41am » |
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I guess it could be....Need some help from my friends...If you have a problem, something that is really killing you emotionally and starting to affect you physically too....and you dont know what to do about it...what do YOU do to get out of the problem and get into the solution? I have been praying alot but seem to keep taking the problem back and focusing on it again...It is like when I was getting hit five and six times a day last year and that is all I could focus on ....Please give me some ideas on what to do....I sure could use some pointers and you guys/gals are the only people I really trust.....THanks, smiles,nancyc PS. I feel like I am having breakthrus rite now because of this too.
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judyw
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Re: May not be cluster related but then again..
« Reply #1 on: Sep 10th, 2003, 11:04am » |
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nanc, I am glad you feel you can turn to us with anything, but it is hard to give a good answer or suggestion when we have nothing to work with...is there a minister or someone near you that you could discuss this with so you can separate yourself from it and maybe see it clearer...Many times life gives us things we have no control over and we have to step back, which is not easy...please know that I am only as far away as the phone or email if that will help you...as are many other of your friends here, I am sure...Breathe deep and step forward....PPP
judyw 
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echo
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Re: May not be cluster related but then again..
« Reply #2 on: Sep 10th, 2003, 11:10am » |
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I'm one who probably should deal with his problems more openly.
I usually keep it all inside to the world as a whole. I have one true friend I can pray with and be held accountable by. I do find relief by reading the bible and focusing on searching for an answer. When getting hit it gives me something else to think about. When getting hit really hard -- that's out the window. Tough enough to think, let alone read and comprehend.
I know this didn't help much. I'll keep you in my prayers Nancy.
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sadsue
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Re: May not be cluster related but then again..
« Reply #3 on: Sep 10th, 2003, 11:13am » |
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Nancy, I'm not religious but have tried the next best thing to prayer- meditation. The ammount of concentration required to meditate leaves little room for anything else(thats the theory). Visualization helped me so much in my worse 2yrs ever with hits every day. Take yourself for a walk (in your mind) to somewhere beautiful and enjoy the experience. When you get good at this you can even feel the sun on your face! You still have the demon with you of course, but it helps you to cope with it. If you have given birth you will know the importance of calm in coping with pain, which is why the 'dance' is probably NOT a good idea, you can't dance away from the demon, perhaps with practice you can calm him down. I've just joined a phylosophy group to learn how to meditate at deeper levels. There are lots of books that help with this tecnique. Hope it helps.Thinking of you...
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'THY SOUL SHALL FIND ITSELF ALONE
'MID DARK THOUGHTS OF THE GREY TOMB-STONE-
NOT ONE, OF ALL THE CROWD, TO PRY
INTO THINE HOUR OF SECRECY:'
edgar allen poe 1844( CLUSTERHEAD.)
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rumplestiltskin
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Nanc, someone recently gave me this idea. It's just one of a lot of methods available to help us stop "taking it back".
The God Box. I'm sure you've heard of this. So had I. I just never got around to actually making one till recently.
Take a shoe box...whatever...Tape the shit out of it. Tape it up supremely tight. It will never be opened. Cut a slit in the top just big enough to fit slips of paper in. Write down in detail the "problem" then simply give them to "god" by slipping them into the box. Repeat as necessary.
love
den
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Melissa
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Re: May not be cluster related but then again..
« Reply #5 on: Sep 10th, 2003, 12:05pm » |
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I find that dealing with the problem head on, helps me immensely. Let's me get on with my life. Whether it be confronting someone, or a company, co-worker, in-law, whatever. Or, if I need to make a decision, and am having a tough time deciding, I just quit debating about it in my head and pick one. I know that in the end, the only person who can help me out, is me. Even if I end up alienating everyone in the process. Eventually, they'll get over it!
If I knew more about your situation Nancy I could try and help better, but whatever your problem is, good luck on finding what you need to help you out!
love u,
mel
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stevegeebe
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Re: May not be cluster related but then again..
« Reply #6 on: Sep 10th, 2003, 12:54pm » |
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I take one bridge at a time. When I've crossed it I move on to the next bridge.
I try to avoid looking looking at the many
ahead of me and stay focused on the concern on hand.
Works for me. Hope this may help.
Steve G
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Virginia
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Re: May not be cluster related but then again..
« Reply #7 on: Sep 10th, 2003, 12:55pm » |
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Hi Nancy,
I liked Den's idea and I'm going home to do it tonight. Thanks Den.
I don't know enough about what's going on but I am getting hit hard I have to keep talking to God. I mean, it is a constant for me. And it's not 1 specific prayer, but it's just constantly talking to him about how I feel and pouring out my heart. And I make sure that I am continually thanking him. If it's been 5 hours since my last headache than I thank him for those 5 hours without pain.
I wish I could help more, but I'll be praying for you.
Love,
Virginia
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ave
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Re: May not be cluster related but then again..
« Reply #8 on: Sep 10th, 2003, 3:41pm » |
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My five cents - If I have a big problem, I imagine I am going to wrote to somebody who solves them, like maybe Dr. Phil or maybe a psychiatrist.
I have to be very detailed, otherwise they can't really help me and the funny thing is, imagining how I would explain my problem, how I would write it all down, makes me find a way to a solition. Or makes me find out what I really feel about it and which way I want my solution to go.
I never had to ask that sort of help from people; I always found my way out of the problem in time.
Hope this helps, Nance...
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Linda T
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Re: May not be cluster related but then again..
« Reply #9 on: Sep 10th, 2003, 3:54pm » |
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Hi Nancy, sorry that your having a problem right now.
I don't know what I can do or say to make it better. I know that when there is a major problem in your life it becomes all-consuming. Like the CH. It's hard to get past. I can only relate what I did during the times when I was getting hit 5-6-7 or 8 times a day. I, too, prayed alot. I prayed for strength to get through it. I found that praying (or begging in some instances) for it to stop just didn't work. I've said this before and I know it's not easy, but sometimes you have just got to change your perspective of things. You know that prayer that says "God give me the wisdom to accept what I cannot change?" I don't know whether you have any control over your situation, but if you do not, let it go. Easier said then done, I know. If you do have control over it then focus focus focus on a solution - when you start agonizing over the problem - shift to a solution. Easier said then done, I know.
Sorry, I'm kind of rambling. You know where I am if you need help. Please dont hesitate to call.
Wishing you all PFDAN always, Linda T
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vig
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Re: May not be cluster related but then again..
« Reply #10 on: Sep 10th, 2003, 4:03pm » |
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i go for long walks.
really long walks.
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never, Never, NEVER quit. -Winston Churchill
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jonny
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on Sep 10th, 2003, 11:52am, rumplestiltskin wrote:Nanc, someone recently gave me this idea. It's just one of a lot of methods available to help us stop "taking it back".
The God Box. I'm sure you've heard of this. So had I. I just never got around to actually making one till recently.
Take a shoe box...whatever...Tape the shit out of it. Tape it up supremely tight. It will never be opened. Cut a slit in the top just big enough to fit slips of paper in. Write down in detail the "problem" then simply give them to "god" by slipping them into the box. Repeat as necessary. |
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Ya, and if someone gets ahold of your box your SCREWED....LMMFAO ;D ;D
................................jonny
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Charlie
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Re: May not be cluster related but then again..
« Reply #12 on: Sep 10th, 2003, 5:19pm » |
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Well.......
Like Vig, I begin walking a lot instead of taking the bus. I make poor decisions if I'm sedentary. Eating in a nice restaurant can't hurt either.
The older I get, the easier it is to put stuff into the "What difference will this make in 100 years" category. Also, the "Can I live with or without this?" area. Sonetimes works for me.
Write it down and destroy it. It's kind of like the godbox. Pretty good idea. Duct tape is the answer for everything.
Rant away Nancy. We're here for you.
MOC
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Cooked Brain
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Re: May not be cluster related but then again..
« Reply #13 on: Sep 10th, 2003, 5:22pm » |
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take them 1 at a time, and know you WILL live through it and you will fight and emerge eventually...
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ClusterChuck
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Re: May not be cluster related but then again..
« Reply #14 on: Sep 10th, 2003, 6:34pm » |
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What I have done, is part from several comments already, combined together.
I write the whole thing down,very detailed, about what the problem or problems are, what they are doing to me, and how I see them. I then write down how it may look to someone else, a removed person. Then I write how this removed person might handle it. Then I write down how I feel I SHOULD handle it, and how I am PRESENTLY handling it.
Many times this becomes a lot of pages. I then read it back through, as soon as I am done. I then read it through the next day. I then read it through several days later. I then distroy it. (As Jonny and Charlie say, God forbid someone should find it!)
There are a lot of times, this does not solve the problem, but sometimes it does. But it always allows me to take a more objective look at it, and I always feel better about it, and can deal with it better.
Hope this helps.
Chuck
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Opus
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Re: May not be cluster related but then again..
« Reply #15 on: Sep 10th, 2003, 7:05pm » |
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Nancyc,
I know how it is to have problems that you can't forget. And having no one to talk to them about it is even worse for some. I have prayed for years to forget the problem becouse it was never going to better soon. Maybe the best thing to do is to find something you can do to forget it. Sorry I can't really help becouse it seems I really have the same problem with problems as you. I will jkeep you in my prayers if that will help.
Opus/Paul
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Mark C
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Re: May not be cluster related but then again..
« Reply #16 on: Sep 10th, 2003, 7:24pm » |
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[hug/] & [prayers/]!
Hang in there buddy, we need you!
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Carla_Comiter
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Re: May not be cluster related but then again..
« Reply #17 on: Sep 10th, 2003, 9:45pm » |
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Dear Nancy,
I have been through many periods of obsessive thinking and have found the following to be helpful:
1) Talk to a counselor. Sometimes you'll get a different way of seeing things from him/her.
2) Call the 24-hr prayer line at Silent Unity. (816) 969-2000. They also have a toll-free number if you need it. They listen. They pray. They're free. They don't pass judgement or try to convert anyone.
3) Listen to books on tape. When I've been really obsessed, I would listen to books when I was ironing, in the car, when I was falling asleep. This gave that part of my brain something to do instead of going over and over the same ole' stuff.
Hope you got some useful tips from your replies. It's a great question and one that I'm sure all of us can relate to.
Carla
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cootie
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Re: May not be cluster related but then again..
« Reply #18 on: Sep 10th, 2003, 9:50pm » |
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I dwell on stuff over and over and over until it overwhelms me and I am ready fer the nuthouse. I'm not much of a good example am I......but.....after a while I think I burn myself out on it in due time and 'move on'. I have several large groups of very good close friends with excellent senses of humor to help me stay sane...........Pam that tries ta stay afloat while drowning
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Ree
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ny Re: May not be cluster related but then again..
« Reply #19 on: Sep 10th, 2003, 10:20pm » |
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Man am I hearing you... lots of stuff going on... Sometimes when I am feeling blue I write a list of things that i am thankful for... One night I couldnt think of too many things. I ended up writing I am thankful that my pillow is cool... I am thankful that Dave isnt snoring right now. I am thankful that Breezy doesnt have head lice... I really felt that I had nothing to be thankful for... so I suddenly became thankful for my sense of humor...
Sometimes I just take what I call a "NADA" day and do nothing at all unless its for me... I think I need one soon you take one too...
Most times I just pray alot............. Love ya Ree
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| « Last Edit: Sep 10th, 2003, 10:22pm by Ree » |
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cootie
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Re: May not be cluster related but then again..
« Reply #20 on: Sep 10th, 2003, 10:32pm » |
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VERY good outlook Ree ! I'll admit I frequent Walmart or Penny's junior dept of cool ass clothes when things get too heavy.......even the pet store helps and not have to be anywhere....and jus look at "everything".....every single thing !! Pam that feels better after makeing myself QUEEN for the day "for myself and no body else"
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OneEyeBlind
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Re: May not be cluster related but then again..
« Reply #21 on: Sep 11th, 2003, 12:19am » |
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NancyC ........ don't think you are talking about just a bad day ........bigger than that, more overwhelming, all consuming ... heartbreaking ...............
Take Den's advice ... I am ..... gonna make my God Box. Thanks Den !!!!!!!!!
Hopefully, you will let go of yours while I let go as well.
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nancyc
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Re: May not be cluster related but then again..
« Reply #22 on: Sep 12th, 2003, 11:41pm » |
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Oh, thank you all for the wonderful advise...and Den, yep, I had heard about the God box and have even done it in the past....but like you, had forgotten...but I am going to do it again..thanks for the reminder..Got my box and my duck tape ready to start one....Thanks everyone for the prayers, calls and emails too...I sure love this family...who says it is all about chs here? smiles, nancyc
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| « Last Edit: Sep 12th, 2003, 11:44pm by nancyc » |
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catlind
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Re: May not be cluster related but then again..
« Reply #23 on: Sep 13th, 2003, 11:43am » |
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Nancy, first I'm glad to see a post from you, I was worrying about where you were 
Second, when my Dad died, when my previous marriage fell apart, when ever I have hit a real hard spot in my life, I have used this technique with success.
While some problems can easily be dealt with head on, or 'fixed' others have no tangible solution. Some are purely emotional roller coasters that we have to ride. What I do is set aside a time limit. I can't avoid my feelings for ever, but I can't wallow in them either. So if I start to feel down, or sad, or angry, or any other strong emotion, I simply say to myself ok, get it out, 'self you have 30 min. to sit and cry, scream, rant, rave, vent, feel sorry for yourself, and anything else that you need to do'. I set the timer on the stove, and I proceed to wallow and party in and with the pity. When the timer goes off, I am usually emotionally drained, and feel like I can face another few hours of the day.
I stick to the time limit, and that way the feelings don't run the rest of my life, but I don't ignore them either.
Sometimes it helps just to give yourself permission to feel sorry for yourself for a little while.
Hope things start going great for you real soon!
Luv ya sis
Cat
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Tara Ann
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Re: May not be cluster related but then again..
« Reply #24 on: Sep 14th, 2003, 3:25pm » |
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on Sep 10th, 2003, 4:03pm, vig wrote:i go for long walks.
really long walks. |
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me too or long drives
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