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Topic: Fear (Read 241 times) |
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hopefull
New Board Old Timer
Posts: 295
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WHEN everything is going great....it scares the hell out of me...
And everything is going great....no HA's, life is moving forward, things are good....
Whats wrong with me!!?? ...any body else feel this way??
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Carl_D
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As our ex Prez says "I feel your pain."
I am a chronic, but have had it easy lately and everything is going GREAT! Got a killer band, great friends, and even found an abortive I tried with failure in the past is now working for me. I almost feel like things are going too good and that disaster looms in the near future.
Sucks to live under the curse of clusters, but rules to know we have each other to fall back on.
"Lean on me...when you're not strong..."
Peace,
Carl D
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hopefull
New Board Old Timer
Posts: 295
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Re: Fear
« Reply #2 on: Sep 5th, 2003, 6:52am » |
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Thanks Carl D 
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Dave_Emond
New Board Newbie
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
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Posts: 9
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Re: Fear
« Reply #3 on: Sep 5th, 2003, 10:40am » |
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Keep the name Hopefull,
I would think something was wrong more if you didn't have fears.
I remember back when I was episodic, I had just about as many fears as I do now that I'm chronic. For the couple months ahead of my "normal" cycles, I'd start having fears of what lay ahead, which also caused a lot of stress. Then, of course, once the cycle began, would it end?
A few years back at the Las Vegas OUCH convention, I was still epsodic and talked to a few chronic sufferers. I couldn't phathom being chronic. A couple said they actually preferred it to being episodic. This blew me away! But a lot of what they were saying I now understand (although I definitely don't agree). They seemed to be relieved of the constant fears and stress about having those pain free times knowing that it would return. Dealing with it everyday made them accept it easier.
I was just talking about this with my wife this morning, and then came on and saw your message. The fear is normal, I'd even say a side effect of what Clusters can do to us in our lives. Some are getting information together now to study and survey these effects of CH outside the pain, but how it changes our daily living and thinking. This is long overdue, whether episodic or chronic, CH has a certain impact on our perspective of life. I'd bet many types of fear will be closer to the top.
Even though I now go through a minimum of 8 attacks per day, I can't honestly say I can remember how fierce the pain is until the next attack. I fear the knowing that they will be coming again, but always am shocked over and over how much pain is involved. Although we have "scales" and "descriptions" of the pain, I just don't see that any do justice to a full board CH attack. If I can't fully remember anything but ... I know I'll be hit again and it's going to be bad ... I don't think I'll ever be able to really tell anyone just how bad they are.
I wouldn't think there's anything abnormal about having fear during pain free periods, and the fears probably vary among different sufferers.
Since there's no way of telling if one might become chronic, or might find a medication that works, or a coping method or even the fortune to have the CH just go away, the fears will be there. But, so will hope.
I like that you have chosen a name like Hopefull, shows that although you recognize the fears, you are ready to confront them and CH. Hope is one of our strongest allies, hold on to it. It's helped pull me out of some very low points.
We are all with you,
Dave
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Obstacles are those frightful things we see when we take our minds off our goals.
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hopefull
New Board Old Timer
Posts: 295
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Re: Fear
« Reply #4 on: Sep 5th, 2003, 12:09pm » |
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 Thanks Dave...sometimes i think i'm to much of a downer for people and i'm sorry for that ...
maybe someday i'll be able to return the favor with some heart felt words....
Jean
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Dave_Emond
New Board Newbie
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Gender:
Posts: 9
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Re: Fear
« Reply #5 on: Sep 5th, 2003, 12:47pm » |
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Hi again Hopefull Jean!
No need for apologies in here for being down. Most everyone here has their high and lows.
Share them both!
I recently had to come in here as I felt I was at the end of my rope and ready to give in. The overwhemling responses of concern, advice and support help pull me back to fighting again and regaining hope.
Although, this board shows me as a "newbie", I've been on the old message board and here for close to the begining.
Many times there were people I could help or inspire, and just as many times where I needed from our family here.
We all have are ups and downs. Because we have downs, certainly does not make us unable to encourage others when they are down and we may be up.
It's a rollercoaster life we lead dealing with CH. So I'd encourage you to follow up on adding whatever you feel you can when any of our family are in need. Sometimes, just a couple words from someone who understands can help. Some can write profound letters of encouragement, but I find the simple kind words in short messages just as helpful and appreciated.
We learn everyday new ways to express ourselves, I can tell you would certainly be one who has two sides and could help others when they are down. Comes from your own experiences, your coping methods might connect with anothers. Anyway it goes, when someone's down, just a simple "we are with you" can make a difference. It does for me 
Dave
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Obstacles are those frightful things we see when we take our minds off our goals.
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hopefull
New Board Old Timer
Posts: 295
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Re: Fear
« Reply #6 on: Sep 5th, 2003, 12:52pm » |
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Thanks again! Dave...
Hope you have a great week-end...PF 
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Tiannia
New Board Hall of Famer
Life does not apologies......
 
Gender: 
Posts: 3241
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Re: Fear
« Reply #7 on: Sep 5th, 2003, 2:49pm » |
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Hopefull -
I just wanted to tell you /huggs for PFDaN. That is great and at this point I can understand the fear. I feel it now having each doctor I talk to tell me a different story.
I too feel that I am a downer here and do not wish to be. The supprt that I have gotten from everyone here has been great as I have more questions then answers at this time. I hope that I can return the favor. All I could think of last night after leaving the ER was coming here and letting you all know what happened. This board has brought me so much comfort that I can never express.
Good Luck and I hope for many many more PF Months.
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The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. - Carl Rogers
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hopefull
New Board Old Timer
Posts: 295
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Re: Fear
« Reply #8 on: Sep 5th, 2003, 3:01pm » |
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Thank you everybody ....
Will be checking out for the week-end soon going out of town ...
See you Monday morning Bright and Early....
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