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Topic: Idiot wind (Read 291 times) |
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Ted
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Idiot wind
« on: Jul 29th, 2003, 11:47pm » |
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Australian astronomers find 70 sextillion stars in the known universe; "but only one can be the Center Square," says Bruce Vilanche proudly
Texas police finally identify badly decomposed body as Baylor basketball player Patrick Dennehy; "The fact that the corpse is 6'10" really helped," says spokesman
Study finds that anti-drinking ads don't work; "waking up with a fat chick, however, does seem to have some effect," says researcher
Lufthansa set to acquire Swiss Airline; "We plan on annexing Air France next," warns spokesman
Man receives tongue transplant; man's girlfriend pleasantly surprised to find out the donor was a lesbian
Polar bear turns purple after it takes medication; "I usually only see purple polar bears after I take medication," says wowed Phish fan
Malaysian Muslim men can divorce their wives by leaving messages on their mobile phones; "and with unlimited weekend minutes, you can get rid of an entire harem for just the cost of your monthly service," boasts Verizon spokesman
Scientists link headaches to problems in the mouth; New Jersey man links headaches to problems with wife's mouth
Black bear wanders onto Penn State campus; "I was just looking for a place to shit," explains embarrassed woodland creature
NAACP still seeking meeting with Bush; "I'll meet with them when I'm ready to order," says President, holding a menu
Charlton Heston receives medal from Bush; grateful but ailing actor volunteers to smite President's enemies with plague of locusts
NASA chief Sean O'Keefe promises “dramatic change” in breaking NASA's culture of silence, although he refuses to comment on when this new policy would go into effect.
Former President Ronald Reagan send condolences to the family of Bob Hope: "Thanks for the uh, ah, oh, ugh... With deepest sympathy, Ronald Reagan and Jane Wyman ."
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Kirk
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Re: Idiot wind
« Reply #1 on: Jul 30th, 2003, 3:11am » |
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And in other news:
Nearly two years in the making Python 2.3 has just been released. The members of Monty Python after whom the programing language was named are pleased.
William H. Gates III president of Micro$oft stated that 5% of all installed Windows systems crashed twice daily. Also that Micro$oft is planning on charging a fee for future Windows updates. In order to further increase the Redmond WA Corporations revenue stream.
Film at Eleven.
TTFN
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JDH
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Re: Idiot wind
« Reply #2 on: Jul 30th, 2003, 9:25am » |
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on Jul 29th, 2003, 11:47pm, Ted wrote:
Texas police finally identify badly decomposed body as Baylor basketball player Patrick Dennehy; "The fact that the corpse is 6'10" really helped," says spokesman
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This one cracked me up. At first they weren't sure about the identity!
The dude was 6'10' for christ sake!
Jim
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cootie
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Re: Idiot wind
« Reply #3 on: Jul 30th, 2003, 9:42pm » |
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I like the one about the bear........esp after all them 'does a bear shit in the woods' comments I've recieved thru the years ! Pam that has never seen real bear shit 
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Cause and Effect......"Cause is the effect concealed, Effect is the cause revealed"
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kim
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Re: Idiot wind
« Reply #4 on: Jul 30th, 2003, 9:50pm » |
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IT'S KRUMSKY YA NUMPSHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
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JohnM
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Re: Idiot wind
« Reply #5 on: Jul 31st, 2003, 8:29am » |
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Black bear finishes his shit and spots a white rabbit. He asks him if shit sticks to his fur. Rabbit says no, so bear uses him to wipe his arse.
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Moderation in everything; including moderation!
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Ree
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Re: Idiot wind
« Reply #6 on: Jul 31st, 2003, 8:34am » |
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I LIKE WHEN YOU CALL THEM TEDLINES... REE THAT REFUSES TO SHUT OFF HER CAPS LOCK HI SUZY.......LOL REE
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