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Topic: Shadows gathered for the storm (Read 300 times) |
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barbee
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After a week of growing shadows the storm broke over my head and stayed there. Crash, a big one, and then when it abates a little, I live in fear of the next one.
I know we talked about fear a while ago, but I'm beginning to believe that fear can make you tighten up enough to bring on another one.
You take your meds, the pain retreats a little, and that's when you start to worry. What can we do? Hypnosis?, more meds? There's got to be an answer!
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Jarvis
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Re: Shadows gathered for the storm
« Reply #1 on: Feb 7th, 2003, 1:47am » |
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Barbee- Sorry about the storm. I Quit taking meds because they didnt work for me maybe 7 or 8 years ago. Though I suffer just as much now as then I dont get the fear like I did 20 years ago. I walk into the CH knowing I can only win. I dont think fear actually brings them on but I know it makes them harder to deal with. Its admitting defeat before they begin. Self hypnosis may be a way. I did the more meds thing without results for way too long. I wish I was one of those that had a med that works. I agree theres got to be an answer somewhere. Hang tough and never fear.
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barbee
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Re: Shadows gathered for the storm
« Reply #2 on: Feb 7th, 2003, 6:46am » |
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[color=Purple][/color]Hi Jarvis,,,you walk in knowing you can win. Bt what if you are so beaten down by the last one that you are a sniveling milk toast? You've got to break the cycle and get your mind back to the real world, whatever that is. That 's the critical point. We've got to make the transition safe and strong.
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Jarvis
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Re: Shadows gathered for the storm
« Reply #3 on: Feb 7th, 2003, 12:26pm » |
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Barbee, I have no clue how to answer that but I'll try anyways. We unfortunately do live in two very real worlds. One is a world of pain, one is a world without pain and it is a big transition. Its like walking and running a race. walking is the normal world. Running is the cluster side. With me after an attack and so much practice I am able though exhausted to jump back to assuming normality. I guess I somehow found that as others never understood anyways I feel a certain inner victory in overcoming an attack. My mind becomes programmed to do this because I realize that only one world "cant" win and only one person "can". I quickly resume whatever tasks I do. I think fear will not allow this. When hit again after only a short time I see it as another task to accomplish in a way. It hurts a whole lot more though................... Another way to say it. Look at your storm, It comes in It thunders and lightenings pours but after its gone you see a rainbow, the flowers pop out and the birds that were silent sing louder than before and its a quick and natural reaction. Cause theres another cloud on the horizon. theres no time to be lost on worrying about that next storm coming in. You know its gonna pour and we are stuck in the rain and thats just the way it is. The rainbow will show again and the milktoast will be sopping wet on the ground. You and I will be standing having made the transition. ...........Theres allways a calm after the storm we must live for that. ........................ Reminds me of that movie Twister if you saw it. Where the two people are overun by a tornado. they seek shelter in a shed and fasten down to the poles. The twister comes and destroys everything even tears the shed from around them. When its over the birds are singing, the sun is shining and they laugh out loud as they get right back to work.
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JDH
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We will get by, We will survive!
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Re: Shadows gathered for the storm
« Reply #4 on: Feb 7th, 2003, 1:36pm » |
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Barbee,
Here's to hoping you get some much needed relief, it sounds like you can really use it.
Try not to dwell on the beast, we can't let it win. Fight back with all you've got!
interesting analogy Jarvis
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9-11-01, to remember is to honor.
It's not what you know, it's what you can prove.
ECH established 1985
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