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Topic: A cure isnt really the answer (Read 364 times) |
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kenn_dewitt
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SO YOU WANT THE PAIN TO STOP DO YOU? i am lucky enough to say it has been close to a year and a half since i have had a major episode unfortunately the means in which i have gotten these results are less than appealing and are the ways which others only condemn me for i have found that meth amphetamine has answered my prayers and i do mean prayers because if you do suffer from one of these so called headaches then you know you find yourself asking god in every way you can think of to stop the pain but it never does still its something to get your attention away from the pain for a second so we do it any ways don't we now im not saying drugs are the answer to your pains and sleepless nights on the contrary you see i have found that you have to give up something for something in return when it comes to the pain we fell you see i go out of my way to stay awake for as long as possible till my body finally say to hell with this its time to shut down you may think that going for weeks at a time isn't possible well tell you what i can now do that without drugs the drugs only help me go further and further the only thing is i finally see the new problem i cant stop i don't want to stop in fact i wont stop because im not going back to that pain again id rather blow my head off at least thats how it gets to felling like so now i got a new pain it called the police the friends the family the so called normal people around me they think im a strung out speed freak and god knows i do enough to fit the description or that im lazy and don't want to do anything constructive with my life but if they only knew im not running from reality im running from the pain the pain which they can never understand so to try and get them to know what it is im living seems impossible so now im just a waste of time in their minds this high school graduate ,who then graduated next highest of his boot camp in the military that went on to graduate second highest from his "A"-school which lead to his first command advancement receiving scholastic awards for doing so making rank twice as fast as one could receiving his honorable discharge to return back home to where more award of merits and certificates where earned even becoming a fire prevention safety inspector at one time hell i could go on but why it doesn't stop the pain and im a waste of time to all the ones i know now a good for nothing a drug user we all have are ways to help us through the pain we suffer from but some times these so called headaches hit us from other ways than just inside are heads i may not be felling the pain from with in but i found a whole bunch more pain that comes from the outside and it comes at me all the the time but ill live with it because its still a lot less painful than the headaches i think im done having ill just have to live with my new suffering so when your looking for that way to stop the pain keep in mind others really aren't going to understand the methods to your madness and you just may give them a different outlook of yourself hell most people think were crazy anyways right im not really sure what it is im trying to say here but if anything at all the ones who do know are pain may not know just how deep it really goes try standing in the shoes of a sufferer for just one hour at his or her peeks of that cycle we fear the most then tell me where it is you might find yourself running to and what you you'll do to get there thats all im saying and that isn't even scratching the surface maybe this might help those who know me understand why it is i chose to be where i am and if it doesn't im sorry but i wont go back because the next time i got that gun to my head im afraid i just might pull the trigger in hopes it will ease the pain that wont stop and that dose mean im suicidal either it just means i hope you all can understand the things a cluster headache dose to a person kenn DeWitt
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chjohn
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Re: A cure isnt really the answer
« Reply #1 on: Mar 6th, 2002, 7:47pm » |
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When I was a full time professional hippy type, in the seventys, had the occasion to know a few speed freaks. A skitzed out bunch, paranoid you know. Many would steal the pennies off a dead mans eyes to get that rush.
Hard to quit though, some of them died first. Meth is more phsycologicaly (spelling, I know) addicting than physically addictive, but you get so strung out, got to have that RUSH!!
There are alternatives to speed , most of which are less of a strain on the body, and social structure. Might not be a real "cure" but if you find the right thing that works for you, you can lessen the pain level to a tolerable level, and some have found combinations, or treatments that eliminate the pain from their lifes, at least thats what they say.
You mentioned God, "I am the way the truth and the life, none come to the Father except by me" JESUS... Talk to him about it.
Good luck to You,
John
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MarcJ
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Re: A cure isnt really the answer
« Reply #2 on: Mar 7th, 2002, 10:57am » |
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Oh My Lord!
Someone pushing speed as an answer to CH. Now I have seen it all!!  Must be the longest post ever without a period too!
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chjohn
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Re: A cure isnt really the answer
« Reply #3 on: Mar 9th, 2002, 11:16pm » |
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Hey, Ken, are you still there? Talk to us. You can get free from the speed, and ease the pain.
John
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| « Last Edit: Mar 9th, 2002, 11:18pm by chjohn » |
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