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Topic: OT...What would happen If Dear Abby was a man (Read 317 times) |
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Patrick_A
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OT...What would happen If Dear Abby was a man
« on: Jan 26th, 2004, 9:37am » |
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Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.
A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can
only settle for the next best thing - your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer
together. Why not get some of your old collage roommates involved too? If you are still
apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you're still not sure then
just perform oral on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.
Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
A: Do it. Sperm can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men
know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves
you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day, then cook him a nice meal.
Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs
to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and
can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship
better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a great time to clean the house too)! Just look at
how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets
home is for you and your best friend to perform oral on him. Then cook him a nice meal.
Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband . If you must mess with it, do it in your own time or
ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to
your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral on him and cook him a
delicious meal.
Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to a man is
very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no
pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should
he should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it
up to him by performing oral on him and cook him a nice meal.
Dear Mr. Abby
Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep never giving me one.
A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.
Bwahahahaha!
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Woobie
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Re: OT...What would happen If Dear Abby was a man
« Reply #1 on: Jan 26th, 2004, 9:40am » |
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LMAo!
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echo
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Re: OT...What would happen If Dear Abby was a man
« Reply #2 on: Jan 26th, 2004, 9:59am » |
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My wife performs oral sex on me all the time.
She tells me to "Fuck Off".
Somehow it's just not the same.
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"If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it".
Proud Dad of a US Marine, and a former Marine turned Police Officer.
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Patrick_A
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Re: OT...What would happen If Dear Abby was a man
« Reply #3 on: Jan 26th, 2004, 10:03am » |
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on Jan 26th, 2004, 9:59am, echo wrote:My wife performs oral sex on me all the time.
She tells me to "Fuck Off".
Somehow it's just not the same. |
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She needs advice from "Dear Mr. Abby"
LOL, Patrick 
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benj
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Re: OT...What would happen If Dear Abby was a man
« Reply #4 on: Jan 26th, 2004, 10:07am » |
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I'll be circulating that one down under 
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Killroy 2.0
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Re: OT...What would happen If Dear Abby was a man
« Reply #5 on: Jan 26th, 2004, 10:47am » |
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Did My husband write this
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grumpett
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Re: OT...What would happen If Dear Abby was a man
« Reply #6 on: Jan 26th, 2004, 12:53pm » |
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No ..I am pretty sure it was my husband or was it ?
maybe the same gent!
ha ha
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i'm not crazy....I've just been in a bad mood for 30 years!
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brad267
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Re: OT...What would happen If Dear Abby was a man
« Reply #7 on: Jan 26th, 2004, 2:02pm » |
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Hey, I'm starving over here!!!!! 
I'll be happy with home cooked meals!!!!!!
<baby steps... baby steps...>
-Brad
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-- He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.
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aprilbee
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Re: OT...What would happen If Dear Abby was a man
« Reply #8 on: Jan 26th, 2004, 2:12pm » |
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LMMFAO! so true its sad! you poor men, how do you get through the day? 
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thomas
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Re: OT...What would happen If Dear Abby was a man
« Reply #9 on: Jan 26th, 2004, 2:26pm » |
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Oh to dream of a pefect world.......sigh..........
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Cerberus
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Re: OT...What would happen If Dear Abby was a man
« Reply #10 on: Jan 26th, 2004, 8:31pm » |
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Thomas said I was sick..............
Still waiting for my meal....  
Ramon
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I would rather face the end with terror than terror without end. - (Deitrich Sawatsky 194?)
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