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Topic: Sometimes ( Humor ) (Read 456 times) |
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TerryS
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Sometimes ( Humor )
« on: Mar 27th, 2003, 4:08pm » |
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Subject: Sometimes
Sometimes
when you cry ...
no one sees your tears......
Sometimes...
when you are in pain...
no one sees your hurt...
Sometimes...
when you are worried....
no one sees your stress......
Sometimes ...
when you are happy ...
no one sees your smile ......
But FART!! just one time...
Everybody knows!! 
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> It is only a tiny rosebud,
> A flower of God's design;
> But I cannot unfold the petals
> With these clumsy hands of mine.
> The secret of unfolding flowers
> Is not known to such as I.
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Slammy
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Lust Without Remorse! Love Without Regret!
 
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Re: Sometimes ( Humor )
« Reply #1 on: Mar 27th, 2003, 4:13pm » |
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Bahahaha Terry!
That is sooo true! Especially with boys! Now, if their mother accidently lets go, lookout! ;D
The neighborhood finds out about it! What's up with that? Passing gas is a guy-thing? 
Slammy 
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That's it! Everyone out of the pool!
" Everytime I try to get out, they PULL me back in! "
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jonny
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LOL Terry, when the day comes that you can let one go and your chick says nothing (but runs out of the room) your in.....LOL ;D
......................................jonny
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suzy617
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Re: Sometimes ( Humor )
« Reply #3 on: Mar 27th, 2003, 4:24pm » |
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Mother's don't do those kind of things silly! 
But give me a beer and I'll burp just as loud as any of you guys. 
suzy
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When God measures men, He puts the tape around the heart, not the head.
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cathy
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Not all those that wander are lost......
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Re: Sometimes ( Humor )
« Reply #4 on: Mar 27th, 2003, 4:38pm » |
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on Mar 27th, 2003, 4:24pm, suzy617 wrote:Mother's don't do those kind of things silly!
suzy |
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...nobody told me... ???
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My own tears would mean nothing to me, if I could stop you from just shedding one....
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WendyHowe
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I always know where I am in a relationship with a guy by what he does when he farts.
Infatuated with me- he leaves the room
Relationship getting cosy-sticks his arse out of the door
Settling down-sticks his arse out of the bed
Established and long-term- tries to fart on my leg
Now we're married- the bastard farts and wafts it in my face shouting 'get a load of this one love'
Wendy
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jonny
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LMAO!!!!....Wendy, too funny......LOL ;D ;D
........................................jonny
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cootie
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sumday I'm gonna be sumbody........ ..
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Re: Sometimes ( Humor )
« Reply #7 on: Mar 27th, 2003, 6:04pm » |
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Farts in public and yells......." PAM ".................
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Cause and Effect......"Cause is the effect concealed, Effect is the cause revealed"
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cathy
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Not all those that wander are lost......
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Re: Sometimes ( Humor )
« Reply #8 on: Mar 27th, 2003, 6:29pm » |
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;D...ROFLMAO Wendy that was so funny......
Cathy on your side of the pond!
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My own tears would mean nothing to me, if I could stop you from just shedding one....
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kim
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Re: Sometimes ( Humor )
« Reply #9 on: Mar 28th, 2003, 2:44pm » |
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LMAO. Personally? I think everyone should just FART and get it outa the way right from the get go. Yu KNOW, laugh and fart simultaneously ;D Life is short. For God's SAKE! The folks who plug their nose and act disgusted are probably full a shit anyhow
Stinko 
PS: All those holding in farts - let em riiiiiiiip - RIGHT NOW ;D Who needs germ warfare anyway
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catlind
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Re: Sometimes ( Humor )
« Reply #10 on: Mar 28th, 2003, 3:37pm » |
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The methane produced in this house could easily be called chemical warfare!!!!!!!!!!
The hell with the military, most members in this house could take Saddam and Bin Laden out without raising a single firearm! LOL
This thread is toooooooooo funny!
Cat
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A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart
If yer gonna be stupid, ya gotta be tough
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echo
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Re: Sometimes ( Humor )
« Reply #11 on: Mar 28th, 2003, 3:52pm » |
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Thanks Kim, I feel much better now. The other cube farm residents would like to talk with you however.
The next one I'm going to light!
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| « Last Edit: Mar 28th, 2003, 3:54pm by echo » |
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"If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it".
Proud Dad of a US Marine, and a former Marine turned Police Officer.
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kim
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I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
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Re: Sometimes ( Humor )
« Reply #12 on: Mar 28th, 2003, 4:06pm » |
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The great thing about the internet is that i can say FART -- and no one will know that I'm actually sorta cute You'd NEVER think I was a FARTER if ya met me ;D
Okay, goin to pluck me chinhairs now
**Footnote** prayers are needed for kimmer. she has been virtually locked up in the house all winter, driven INSANE by her 3 children (+ a 6 month old yorkie puppy) and is as we speak staring into space with a somewhat stupefied look abouter..............HEY Let's set her up wit DON ;D
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BruceD
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Re: Sometimes ( Humor )
« Reply #13 on: Mar 28th, 2003, 4:11pm » |
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Sorry, but I just had to share this one that a bud sent to me recently. Kind of goes well with the current topic and definitely good for a laugh...
Take care
BruceD
How to Take a Workplace Poop
We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the 2003 Survival Guide for taking a dump at work. Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure.
ESCAPEE. Definition: a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.
JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with ESCAPEE). Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
COURTESY FLUSH. Definition: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.
WALK OF SHAME. Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.
OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER. Definition: A colleague who poops at work and damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.
THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN). Definition: A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.
SAFE HAVENS. Definition: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.
TURD BURGLAR: Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
CAMO-COUGH. Definition: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.
ASTAIRE. Definition: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.
WATERMELON. Definition: A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
HAVANA OMELET. Definition: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.
UNCLE TED. Definition: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.
FLY BY. Definition: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.
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Childhood is short, maturity is forever. (The Indispensable Calvin and Hobbes)
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suzy617
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Love is friendship set on fire
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Re: Sometimes ( Humor )
« Reply #14 on: Mar 28th, 2003, 4:26pm » |
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OMG Bruce, that was hysterical!
I especially like the courtesy flush, LMAO! ;D
suzy
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When God measures men, He puts the tape around the heart, not the head.
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jonny
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Did someone say flush?......LOL
.........................jonny
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