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Topic: Personality changes noticed, normal? (Read 995 times) |
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DeansGirl
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Personality changes noticed, normal?
« on: Mar 4th, 2003, 8:42pm » |
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This is my very first post, so please bear with me. My boyfriend is a CH, experiencing about 2 episodes a year, 4-8 weeks duration on average. I haven't known my guy for very long (a few months), so at first I wasn't sure I understood what was going on with a major shift in his personality.
His most recent episode started about 2 months ago. The day it started, he became a different person. I understand the excruciating and debilitating pain he experiences, and how that would obviously affect your personality. But there was more to it than that.
Even during his non-pain hours (or days), his whole personality seemed different. He was dulled, often humorless, and mostly emotionless. I don't know if it's the CH's, the meds, or what....and I'm researching like crazy to learn more about this CH life.....because I love him.
Any advice or related experiences?
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Jarvis
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Re: Personality changes noticed, normal?
« Reply #1 on: Mar 4th, 2003, 10:16pm » |
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Hey girl. For an episodic cluster headache sufferer. Its a semi normal thing. One day we are living a fabulous life of no pain where all things are possible and then without warning we are attacked over and over again by unseen pain. At first sheer exhaustion takes over we wait for the pain to return hoping to be vigilant and able to attack it before it attacks us. We become humorless, emotionless, withdrawn. ....For a short while there is only the existence of pain beyond compare....... Many of us exist with little or no sleep for weeks sometimes months on end. This only lasts a while untill we resign ourselves to the fact that this is our life......... . Then its over. We return to our normal, wonderfull, incredible, fabulous selves. ... My advice hang tough, not much you can really do, give him support, keep a thick skin and he will be back soon enuff.
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cootie
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Re: Personality changes noticed, normal?
« Reply #2 on: Mar 4th, 2003, 10:33pm » |
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Hi DeansGirl....I'm a supporter.....guess it makes sense when an episode comes on..."just knowing" you will be goin thru that hell daily several times day for at least 6 to 8 weeks or longer and thought of all the meds and pain duration ahead would be nuff to change ones personality or outlook on life fer while....life ceases ta exist as it normally does. It's a clear path ta hell...."and back"......these are suma the toughest people I know ! Take care and stick around.......Pam-Cootes-da-supporter
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Frank
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Re: Personality changes noticed, normal?
« Reply #3 on: Mar 4th, 2003, 11:22pm » |
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I haven't noticed a change in my personality but my family sure has.... or maybe I have too. Last Saturday, we decided to eat out at a Mexican place. Two of my kids (ages 11 and 13) reminded me that I need to take Maxalt and the O2 tank with me. Then Sunday, we planned a trip to my sister's house 70 miles away. I tried to talk my family out of it. I thought what happens if I get hit while driving there or driving back (my wife is disabled and cannot drive)? So they again talked me into it... making sure I remembered to take the Maxalt and O2 tank along. Sure enough, we got there and I got hit (luckily only a Kip "5" .
Monday my daughter wanted to go clothes shopping but I had a "7" or "8" and so we did not go shopping. And tonight I had a "5"... followed an hour later by another "5". The kids wanted to know if it's going to get worse later.... Will I start screaming and cussing and throwing things like last Saturday? And can we try to go shopping tomorrow? And can we get haircuts this week?I feel like shit for letting my family down all the time!!!!!!
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Ted
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Re: Personality changes noticed, normal?
« Reply #4 on: Mar 4th, 2003, 11:45pm » |
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Hi Girl. It could be that he has been getting hit at night and you aren't aware of it (we do try to sneak off without waking anyone up) and he's just really tired, affecting his sense of humor. It could be that he's depressed going through it all again. It could be that during the hit he's thinking about you and you doing what many do and leaving him, and that bums him out. It could be his meds. It could be anything. We're a good group to talk to after the fact. Try talking to him for the answer.
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juvy
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Re: Personality changes noticed, normal?
« Reply #5 on: Mar 5th, 2003, 4:33am » |
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DeansGirl,
I agree with Ted, the best thing you can do is wait for a good time to talk to him.
From the pain side i can tell you, my personality changes big time. Normally, i'm sweet and take care not to hurt people's feeling. I enjoy life and going out and doing things. During an attack, i'm depressed, I definately don't want to go anywhere, I snap at every little thing (usually my fiance is the main target).
In short i usually go from being an Angel in the morning to being the demon B*tch from Hell by the afternoon and staying that way for a few weeks. I've just started learning how to channel my anger and frustration to other venues.
i hope this helps in your understanding. If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to email me at Juvember@hotmail.com
Cheers,
April
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ave
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Re: Personality changes noticed, normal?
« Reply #6 on: Mar 5th, 2003, 4:58am » |
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And there is another thing; when I come out of an episode I feel like I have been wearing blinkers - you know, the things skittish horses used to wear.
I feel I haven't really looked at the world for the duration of my episode. I have lived that part, sure, but only at about 45 percent of what is possible.
Then there is the medication he might be on. Ask about that, and then do some research on this site.
Oh, and steer him this way, and visit again yourself. There is a whole message board here, just for supporters of clusterheads. Great people, they will help you too.
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DeansGirl
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Re: Personality changes noticed, normal?
« Reply #7 on: Mar 5th, 2003, 6:14am » |
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Thank you all so much for your invaluable advice. I will definitely be sticking with him, and am attending his doctor appointment tonight.
He and I talked about the changes I noticed, and I showed him evidence by comparing notes and emails sent before, during, and after this last episode. He was stunned. He also now sees the correlation between the failure of his marriage with the horrible run of episodes he had during that time. Her complaints were all related to the behaviors he exhibits during his episodes, but not during remission times.
I figure God has put us together for a reason....I'm using my analytical nature to try to understand and help this man of mine.
During this episode, his Dr. put Dean on prednisone to abort the attacks. I noticed that he still exhibited symptoms of the attacks (reddened eye, increased bp and pulse, more quiet) at regular intervals completely unbeknownst to him. I wouldn't point it out to him (he suffers enough) but would record the symptoms and times in the log-spreadsheet I'm keeping for him. Sure enough, they match the times when his attacks would occur.
Do those of you on successful preventative meds (for now) also experience this syndrome? Where you still have the other symptoms of the attack without the horrifying pain?
God bless you all for what you have to go through...and I don't say that lightly....I've held him in my arms as he sobbed and rocked on the floor like a child, "in the position" as it were, head and neck in hands and begging for relief. You are all an inspiration to me.
DeansGirl
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Tim_w
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Re: Personality changes noticed, normal?
« Reply #8 on: Mar 5th, 2003, 6:51am » |
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Hi Deansgirl
You will find that most clusterheads have a really good sense of humor (when not in cycle!)
A good sense of humor is a must(just ask jonny) It help you get through the bad times! ;D
Ask the doc about (verapamil) It has Helped a lot of people!
I think you will make a great supporter, keep doing your home work! come to CH .com together
My wife Robin has been my supporter for 23 years!
Been married almost 26 years  She is the greatest!
With your help he can make it!
Enjoy the good times,make the best of the bad!
Wishing him pain free days and nites!
Tim_w AKA Happy pappy ;D
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Bob P
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Re: Personality changes noticed, normal?
« Reply #9 on: Mar 5th, 2003, 8:58am » |
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This thread points out the fact that CH is more than just a pain in the head. It is all consuming. Fighting through the attacks, anticipating the next one, stopping social activities so as not to get hit in an unfamiliar surrounding, fighting for the medications, dread, depression. Life becomes cluster headaches.
Could some of this be from the changes in our head that cause the clusters? Is the hypo not only causing the attacks but also changing our emotions? Are there medications that will address both the attacks and the emotional changes?
Sounds like a research project for you geeks.
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Woobie
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Re: Personality changes noticed, normal?
« Reply #10 on: Mar 5th, 2003, 9:13am » |
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Hi DeansGirl!
I am a supporter too.. and I have to say that my husband is unbearable during his episodes. He is depressed and anxious
....anxiety plays a HUGE part with him.. always wondering when, and if, and how bad this time??? and how long?, and will the O2 will work this time???, and where are his shots???
Not to mention the sleep deprivation.. and the down right being SCARED to sleep.
I would be a little moody too.. i reckon! So, yes, personality changes.. at least in this house.. are normal.
Maybe his ex-wife didn't understand him or his CH enough to stick it out.. and I hope you will. This place will help you with that.. it helped me be more understanding with my husband, for sure!! And I learned what to do and what NOT to do when he's getting hit.. which is invaluable.. believe me!!
Get your man on here!!! He might get a lot of the "it's not only me" relief from being here.. meeting others that feel the same way.
I'm late.. as usual.. but..Nice to meet you, and welcome!!!
Tina 
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Virginia
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Re: Personality changes noticed, normal?
« Reply #11 on: Mar 5th, 2003, 11:34am » |
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Deans Girl-
Welcome to the board.
I remember a few years back when I was working at a software company in the area. I was talking to this girl who was fairly new to the company and telling her about my headaches and she says to me "oh! that's what the problem is! I use to be scared to talk to you because you always looked so pissed off all the time". For me, when these h/a's hit really hard I get such incredible pain in my face that it is even painful to smile so I just don't. So yes, I look like I'm ppissed off all the time and everyone thinks I'm a b*tch! 
The sleep deprivation alone just makes me a zombie and I can barely function. Everything your boyfriend is going through is normal unfortunately. But he sounds lucky to have you as a supporter! Keep supporting and invite him to our family! 
Virginia
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brain_cramps
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Re: Personality changes noticed, normal?
« Reply #12 on: Mar 5th, 2003, 11:56am » |
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Personality change? PERSONALITY CHANGE? PERSONALITY CHANGE? PERSONALITY CHANGE?
Are you off your *&$&* rocker? If I hear that #(#*@&$%@ question one more #*^%#$&%$#@ time, I swear I'm gonna &^#$*(^# kill someone. That's the most ridiculous *^%#%) thing I've heard in my entire &^%#*^ life.
ex-Sales Rep,
grant 
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| « Last Edit: Mar 5th, 2003, 11:57am by brain_cramps » |
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JDH
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Re: Personality changes noticed, normal?
« Reply #13 on: Mar 5th, 2003, 12:12pm » |
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The lack of sleep and the fear of the next hit definitely changes my personality & outlook.
It usually starts in the fall by waking me up a few nights in a row and then it's downhill from there for the next few months with 2 to 4 attacks a day.
You can maintain for a little while w/out sleep but you start wearing down fast and for me that's when the depression starts to set in.
It's hard to NOT let this thing consume your life while it's happening because it's ALL you can think about.
PFDAN's to your b-friend.
Jim
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TomM
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Re: Personality changes noticed, normal?
« Reply #14 on: Mar 5th, 2003, 1:57pm » |
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DeansGirl--You/ve come to the right place.
Quote:| He was dulled, often humorless, and mostly emotionless. |
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I call this the HA (headache) hangover or Fog. During my CH season (I'm episodic) my personality is quite different and some may say more serene but dull and humorless. I'm not the same razor tongued, witty person. 
Yesterday, I was hit @ work w/ a Kip 8 in the late afternoon and then last night I think I said 10 words to my spousal unit the entire evening. When she went to bed I said "Uh huh". I was out of it.
So, IMHO, this is 'normal' for CHers.
Stick by him and support him emmotionaly. He needs you!
TomM
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don
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Re: Personality changes noticed, normal?
« Reply #15 on: Mar 5th, 2003, 2:42pm » |
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Very normal. Without naming names I'll give examples of a few;
When in cycle or chronic some like to;
Wear womens cloths (Charlie)
Sodomize circus midgets (Jonny)
Smoke ants (Paco)
Travel aimlessly creating kaos (Linda)
Indenture the elderly (Bill)
Assault hockey players and polar bears (Margi)
Place head in Blenda for hours (Nancy)
The list goes on and on.
Contribute greatly to humanity, and other worthy, causes while spreading peace, love and harmony.(don) ;D
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| « Last Edit: Mar 5th, 2003, 2:46pm by don » |
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jonny
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Re: Personality changes noticed, normal?
« Reply #16 on: Mar 5th, 2003, 3:20pm » |
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on Mar 5th, 2003, 2:42pm, don wrote:
Sodomize circus midgets (Jonny) |
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Excuse me Don,
That would be : Chinese born Cuban circus midgets wearing pink tutu's with green afro's singing show tune's.
Nothing like a fresh midget after the head banging is
done ;D
........................jonny
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| « Last Edit: Mar 5th, 2003, 3:21pm by jonny » |
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echo
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Re: Personality changes noticed, normal?
« Reply #17 on: Mar 5th, 2003, 3:28pm » |
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on Mar 5th, 2003, 3:20pm, jonny wrote:
Excuse me Don,
Nothing like a fresh midget after the head banging is
done ;D
........................jonny
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I'm with jonny on this one.
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BruceD
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Re: Personality changes noticed, normal?
« Reply #18 on: Mar 5th, 2003, 3:56pm » |
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Hey DeansGirl,
Glad to see you here. I'm episodic and I can attest that my mood changes when in-cycle. My last episode lasted particularly long for me (Early last Sept. through the end of this Jan.) All I can say is that I respond horribly to sleep depravation. Then when the attacks start hitting during the day as well, it is very easy to get depressed. My wife & kids are great and keep me going when things seem dark, so I advise you to stay by your boyfriend and just be there for him. It’s great that you’re keeping tabs on things for him, because I know I sure wasn’t able to do that myself. When I get hit in the night I just slunk off to a quiet spot to bang my head and really had no idea of how long the attack would last (my wife would keep track for me though).
Again, it sounds like you’re doing a great job of supporting him and you are way ahead of most if you look through this site for information. Great people, great advice, great family…
Take care
BruceD
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cathy
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Re: Personality changes noticed, normal?
« Reply #19 on: Mar 5th, 2003, 4:05pm » |
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on Mar 5th, 2003, 3:28pm, echo wrote:
I like head.....
I'm with jonny on this one.
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Echo....are you trying to say YOUR with Jonny on this one.... 
Cathy..... no CH but a personality disorder... 
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echo
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Re: Personality changes noticed, normal?
« Reply #20 on: Mar 5th, 2003, 4:11pm » |
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I'm soooo .
Let's just say that head is okee doughkee in my book. Well I don't want in on my book, someplace else is much better.
Echo -- S'ingTFU now
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SommelierCH
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Re: Personality changes noticed, normal?
« Reply #21 on: Mar 5th, 2003, 7:46pm » |
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Welcome. It’s great to see someone like you going out of their way to understand what we go through. The supporters you will meet here are all angels. They might have more of the same perspective that you do.
I can’t speak for anyone other than me, but Cluster’s cause me to pull myself inward—no one can help me when it hits. I alone have to deal with what’s happening in my head, and only another Clusterhead can understand.
For 10 weeks, every two years—IT is there—I always feel IT (we call this “shadows”), IT could start to grow any second, ANY SECOND!!! As people on this board will attest (by my ridiculously long posts, yep, longer than this one) I went 35+ hours without sleep, repeatedly. Even when I fell asleep, out of sheer exhaustion, I couldn’t get rest, I knew IT was just getting ready to pounce. Pain and sleep deprivation wrecks havoc on a sense of humor (again, people on this board will attest to that, at least in my case…Hell, I thought I was funny).
My main personality change (other than withdrawing into myself—except for this family) was anger. And I’m not an angry person. Angry because THEY (you know…THEM) had a pill that would take away my pain, but THEY would only let me have 12 pills in 30 days, because I was classified as a MEEGRAINER!!! I needed one pill every day, at least, for “The Big One” which always hits, every night 15min-1.5 hrs after I fall asleep. In my mind THEY were causing my pain. That anger permeated my life as much as the pain.
If you love your boyfriend, get him on this board. Seeing the rest of our stories will give him perspective, and reassure him that: YES, IT DOES HURT THAT BAD!!!
Like Svenn, I am not a doctor. This is what works for me, when I am in cycle:
ABSOLUTELY NO ALCOHOL (and I get paid to drink), it’s a trigger!!!
MOST IMPORTANT: Oxygen, read all you can about it here.
For the Big One, that always hits 15min-2hrs after I go to sleep (hint: don’t sleep) I do a
Maxalt MLT 10mg. or Zomig ZMT 5mg (both are fast dissolving, triptan based, tablets, that enter your body subcutaneously, under the tongue, bypassing the digestive system i.e. fast) and hit the oxygen. This will take out the Beast in 10-20 min. (That is, if the wind is blowing in the right direction, and the sun isn’t in your eyes and your glove’s not too big).
Stick around and keep posting, the more we know, the more we can help,
David J.
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DeansGirl
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Re: Personality changes noticed, normal?
« Reply #22 on: Mar 6th, 2003, 12:12am » |
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Could some of this be from the changes in our head that cause the clusters? Is the hypo not only causing the attacks but also changing our emotions? Are there medications that will address both the attacks and the emotional changes?
Sounds like a research project for you geeks. [/quote]
Bob P, forgive my inexperience with quoting you. You seem to understand exactly the point I am trying to make. Yes, Dean's personality changes as he endures this horrible beast's presence, but that's not the change I'm talking about.
His episode starts gradually, with twinges every few days and times of sleeplessness at night. From the very first day of these symptoms, he became a different person. It was like a shroud was pulled over his personality....dulling it and making him colorless. He no longer could feel things....his apathy was blatant, it was such a dramatic shift that I was stunned. He couldn't focus on tasks, his short term memory was gone, and this was BEFORE the beast ice-picked his brain. A few days after the last symptom disappeared (twinges without the debilitating pain), it was like a light switch snapped in his brain, and he returned to the Dean I knew before the attack.
Those of you who responded in anger that I am focusing on this aspect....please believe me that I am doing everything in my power to find pain relief for him, it is priority NUMBER ONE, and that this is my search to help his life be healed in other areas as well. I believe this personality "shift" has damaged and ruined many of his relationships in the past, and I want to help him.
I'm digging into research on the OUCH website too, and his doctor didn't know what I was talking about....but I truly believe that his episode creates a chemical reaction that alters his personality.
I can't tell you all how much I appreciate your insight, and I will continue to read your advice and do more research so that I am useful to Dean during his attacks.
DeansGirl
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Not4Hire
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Re: Personality changes noticed, normal?
« Reply #23 on: Mar 6th, 2003, 12:31am » |
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bless you DeansGirl...
....we (well, some/most of us) wish we could have somebody with your grit to keep after and support those of us who get visited by the MOFO...... tell, no, DEMAND......ole Dean to come here and share his experience.... these folks will help....... just give 'em a chance. Hope this helps.......sorry y'all are here....glad ya found us...
Steve(N4H) .....personality irrevocably altered....wonder what I was like B.C. ......(before clusters)
???
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Re: Personality changes noticed, normal?
« Reply #24 on: Mar 6th, 2003, 12:27pm » |
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Quote:| He couldn't focus on tasks, his short term memory was gone, and this was BEFORE the beast ice-picked his brain. |
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Yup. Sounds familiar. My spousal unit finally caught on to this and it only took her 9 years! God bless her, though.
Deans girl -- keep asking and prodding.
Hey jonny! Quote:| Nothing like a fresh midget after the head banging is done |
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Why are you limiting yourself to 1-2% of the population? Are you that picky? Small farm animals, bro. Small farm animals.
Let us not forget to fish...for if you give a man a fish he eats for a day. But teach a man to fish and he'll be out of the house the entire weekend!
TomM
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