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Topic: Oh no. Not another current events post. (Read 229 times) |
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Ted
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Oh no. Not another current events post.
« on: Feb 25th, 2003, 7:44am » |
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Well, at least this one's from National Lampoon.
Rhode Island nightclub may face criminal charges; "booking Great White has to violate some rule" says police chief
Australia's oldest human skeleton, "Mungo Man," is only 40,000 years old, not 60,000; America's oldest human skeleton, "Joan Rivers" still dated at 100,000 years old
US Navy deploying trained Sea Lions in Persian Gulf; "Should the Iraqis attack us with large inflatable balls and bicycle horns, we will be ready!" vows admiral
California use gardens as classrooms; "Our children are like vegetables," states administrator using unfortunate analogy
Shuttle Foam theory "not a favorite," says NASA Chief; "I prefer the one which blames an evil Gremlin that was dancing on the wing"
Joe Torre OK with David Wells using Ephedra; "I don't really like the guy," admits Yankees Manager
Agents seize 10 tons of pot at Mexico border; "Did we say 10? We meant 9 and a half," slurs red-eyed Customs Officer
Ebola outbreak in Congo blamed on consumption of "Bushmeat"; America's First Lady armed with yet another reason not to perform fellatio in the White House
Secretary Ridge recommends Americans should keep a "terror readiness kit" containing duct tape and pre-measured sheets of plastic; "In other words, things you might find in Laci Petersen's husband's closet"
Colombian rebels admit to holding 3 Americans; "But we will not cuddle them!" insist overly-macho captors
NASA searches Nevada for shuttle debris; "please let the search be near Vegas," states guardsmen hoping for fun weekend
Scientists discover Pain Gene; "It's very similar to the pleasure gene," whispers Viennese "researcher" clad in shiny leather
Nasal tissues may ID people with rare mad cow-like disease; "loud angry mooing is also a reliable indicator," states doctor
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| « Last Edit: Feb 25th, 2003, 7:46am by Ted » |
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Mark C
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Onward through the fog.
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Re: Oh no. Not another current events post.
« Reply #1 on: Feb 25th, 2003, 8:13am » |
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Thank you Ted,
First post I have read today and it mad me laugh....I needed that. Gremlin on the wing....
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TomM
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Re: Oh no. Not another current events post.
« Reply #2 on: Feb 25th, 2003, 9:07am » |
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Godd shit, man! Thanks.
TomM
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"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I'll go fishing."
--Thoreau--
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TomM
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Re: Oh no. Not another current events post.
« Reply #3 on: Feb 25th, 2003, 9:09am » |
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Typo--should have read "Good shit, man."
Damm beast is ramping up...
TomM
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"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I'll go fishing."
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