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Topic: The Boston Globe Headlines (Read 214 times) |
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Ted
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The Boston Globe Headlines
« on: Feb 11th, 2003, 3:02am » |
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Like you didn't know they're from National Lampoon:
Most newborns in California are Hispanic; "Oh, please, don't let our baby turn out that way!" frets expecting white couple unclear on what the statistic actually means
Europeans get new pill to rival Viagra; have yet to develop pill that simulates effect of a shower
Lucas building $300 million dollar Special Effects campus for his film company; "he might be better served by hiring some writers," notes filmgoer
Men who don't shave daily are 70% more likely to suffer a stroke; 90% more likely to enjoy Southern Rock
George Clooney snaps at critic who called Solaris boring; "any reviewer worth his salt would have called it 'unwatchable dreck!'" mutters star angrily
Potential terror attacks deemed to include "soft targets" such as hotels, subways, Rosie O'Donnell's stomach
Police work to build murder case against Phil Spector; Prosecutor plans "Wall of Evidence" at trial
700 Australian women pose nude to protest Australia's likely involvement in a potential war in Iraq; Australian generals frantically think of other countries to invade
By week's end 150,000 US troops will be in position in the Persian Gulf; enough to launch invasion on Iraq, or feel safe in downtown Newark
Student sues high school to change his A grade to an A+; Judge orders him wedgied
Annoying Dell computer spokesman Benjamin Curtis arrested for marijuana possession; Pun-loving policeman says "Dude, you're getting a cell" over forty times before being restrained by fellow officers
Oh yeah, Happy Valentine's Day:
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don
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Re: The Boston Globe Headlines
« Reply #1 on: Feb 11th, 2003, 1:14pm » |
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IF it's in the Boston Globe
THEN it must be true.
JUST like pro wrestling
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