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Melissa
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Had a full blown panic attack last night...
« on: Feb 3rd, 2008, 9:44am » |
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Been a long time since I had one of those! Luckily enough, I remembered to just lay on my bed (I had already laid down to go to sleep), put my hand on my abdomen and slowly breathe. After some minutes (don't know how many) my breathing regulated and my heart palpatations slowed. I got up, went potty, walked around the house a bit and then woke Lily up to have her give me a hug. Thank GOD for my kids!!  I then took the phone, went on the couch and called Jesse.
Last night was shit for sleeping, kept waking up every hour or so after 5am. Finally at 7:30 I went into the family room and sat with Jesse on the sofa (Eli wanted to sleep w/mom last night, lol). My mind was constantly going, trying to understand just what had happened.
I had no answers until I looked out our bay window at the trees. They were standing there so still and quiet, looking so peaceful, and then it occured to me. Nature doesn't care about grades, nor does it let circumstances pile up on top of it until it breaks. They bend with the wind, go with the flow, shed their leaves in the fall and grow new buds in the spring. Here I had let SO much pile on top of me that my mind couldn't rest. Things from the past that had no place in the moment were popping up at the wrong time for no reason. It was out of order, scrambled.
But thanks to that serene moment, I could feel my anxiety fade and a peace came over me.
I have to remember to go outside, touch a tree or a plant, renew myself again and learn to just let go.
I hope you all can remember to do so for yourselves too.
Love &  ,
mel
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sandie99
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Re: Had a full blown panic attack last night...
« Reply #1 on: Feb 3rd, 2008, 9:50am » |
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Mel, I'm sorry that you had a panic attack last night.
But what you wrote about the trees and nature... That was just beautiful. 
Sanna
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DennisM1045
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Re: Had a full blown panic attack last night...
« Reply #2 on: Feb 3rd, 2008, 10:39am » |
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Wow. Well put mel. You took something dark and scary and made it inspirational. I hope you find a way to hang on to that feeling.
-Dennis-
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Langa
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Re: Had a full blown panic attack last night...
« Reply #3 on: Feb 3rd, 2008, 10:49am » |
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Quote:| I had no answers until I looked out our bay window at the trees. They were standing there so still and quiet, looking so peaceful, and then it occured to me. Nature doesn't care about grades, nor does it let circumstances pile up on top of it until it breaks. They bend with the wind, go with the flow, shed their leaves in the fall and grow new buds in the spring. |
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I will print this and put on my fridge. Anxiety attacks are no joke. I've become quite familiar with them in the last year.  Glad you're all better now Mel.
Hugs,
Langa
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lionsound
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Re: Had a full blown panic attack last night...
« Reply #4 on: Feb 3rd, 2008, 10:53am » |
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HappyElaine
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Re: Had a full blown panic attack last night...
« Reply #5 on: Feb 3rd, 2008, 10:54am » |
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My daughter has panic attacks! She started getting them after her car accident. They can be scary glad you are able to take it down !
Thats a great way to look at it. That is cool !
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artonio7
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Re: Had a full blown panic attack last night...
« Reply #6 on: Feb 3rd, 2008, 10:57am » |
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Hang in there Mel... I'm glad that you have the insight and courage to see the silver lining. Sharing this with others is a blessing. Thanks.
with warm regards.
Tony
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midwestbeth
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Re: Had a full blown panic attack last night...
« Reply #7 on: Feb 3rd, 2008, 11:04am » |
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Panic attacks are scary as hell! Glad you found a way to get you through and see the bigger picture.
Beth
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Re: Had a full blown panic attack last night...
« Reply #8 on: Feb 3rd, 2008, 11:17am » |
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Takes a wise woman to take a panic attack apart and put it away like you did, Melissa. Good for you.
Hugs.......
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kayarr
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Re: Had a full blown panic attack last night...
« Reply #9 on: Feb 3rd, 2008, 2:48pm » |
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You are a blessing!
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Re: Had a full blown panic attack last night...
« Reply #10 on: Feb 3rd, 2008, 3:02pm » |
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Take comfort in knowing what you know
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barry_sword
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Re: Had a full blown panic attack last night...
« Reply #12 on: Feb 3rd, 2008, 5:24pm » |
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Mel, I hope you have a better night tonight.
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Melissa
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Re: Had a full blown panic attack last night...
« Reply #13 on: Feb 3rd, 2008, 5:32pm » |
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Oh thank you so much Barry, I do too! I'm listening to some music on my puter right now and trying to stay in a good frame of mind.
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Charlie
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Re: Had a full blown panic attack last night...
« Reply #14 on: Feb 3rd, 2008, 6:09pm » |
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Rats Mel. I know you'll have a better night.
Really!
Charlie
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andrewjb
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Re: Had a full blown panic attack last night...
« Reply #15 on: Feb 3rd, 2008, 7:26pm » |
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Ree
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Re: Had a full blown panic attack last night...
« Reply #16 on: Feb 3rd, 2008, 9:11pm » |
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likin the new smilies... Hey Mel... last Summer after we got in that horrible accident. I started having anxiety attacks. That was not fun... to the extent that I went to the doc and made her put me on stuff... While I was there she said... "Well its about time" and I said "huh?"
She said with all the stuff going on in my life with my parents dying and my sis in law having cancer, taking care of the estate and my brothers and having a teen ager...Dave's cycle, she thought the accident was the thing that took me over the edge and into panic attacks.She said it was because I had no control over that accident. But it was the thing that saved me and and made me settle in and take care of ME as you did today. To enjoy the little things of beauty that life has to offer. Thanks for this post and for sharing.
That was so well put, good for you that you could get yourself out of it.
I think I am finally ready to give up the med, and let God take care of me. That claustrophobic feeling has stopped. I hope you can just relax and give that baby a fighting chance to not catch your worryitis... hahahaha...
love ya ree
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Re: Had a full blown panic attack last night...
« Reply #17 on: Feb 4th, 2008, 12:05am » |
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[quote author=Melissa
I had no answers until I looked out our bay window at the trees. They were standing there so still and quiet, looking so peaceful, and then it occured to me. Nature doesn't care about grades, nor does it let circumstances pile up on top of it until it breaks. They bend with the wind, go with the flow, shed their leaves in the fall and grow new buds in the spring. Here I had let SO much pile on top of me that my mind couldn't rest. Things from the past that had no place in the moment were popping up at the wrong time for no reason. It was out of order, scrambled.
But thanks to that serene moment, I could feel my anxiety fade and a peace came over me.
I have to remember to go outside, touch a tree or a plant, renew myself again and learn to just let go.
I hope you all can remember to do so for yourselves too.
Love & ,
mel
[/quote]
[/quote] panic attacks and all night screamers will push your sanity through your fingers like fine sand. you anchored your self on those trees. good strategy and probably some of the best advice i have seen. not only is this condition physical but it is also a battle of whits. excellent post melissa!
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Kirk
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Re: Had a full blown panic attack last night...
« Reply #18 on: Feb 4th, 2008, 12:25am » |
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Thanks Mel. 
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kayarr
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Re: Had a full blown panic attack last night...
« Reply #19 on: Feb 4th, 2008, 12:38am » |
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on Feb 3rd, 2008, 9:11pm, Ree wrote:
likin the new smilies... Hey Mel... last Summer after we got in that horrible accident. I started having anxiety attacks. That was not fun... to the extent that I went to the doc and made her put me on stuff... While I was there she said... "Well its about time" and I said "huh?"
She said with all the stuff going on in my life with my parents dying and my sis in law having cancer, taking care of the estate and my brothers and having a teen ager...Dave's cycle, she thought the accident was the thing that took me over the edge and into panic attacks.She said it was because I had no control over that accident. But it was the thing that saved me and and made me settle in and take care of ME as you did today. To enjoy the little things of beauty that life has to offer. Thanks for this post and for sharing.
That was so well put, good for you that you could get yourself out of it.
I think I am finally ready to give up the med, and let God take care of me. That claustrophobic feeling has stopped. I hope you can just relax and give that baby a fighting chance to not catch your worryitis... hahahaha...
love ya ree |
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Wow, now that makes sense. I had a year or two like that a year or two ago and finally lost it over something seemingly small. Thank you for the clarity and the wisdom.
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seasonalboomer
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Re: Had a full blown panic attack last night...
« Reply #20 on: Feb 4th, 2008, 6:42am » |
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I do believe that CH raises all of our baseline anxiety levels. Some more than others. For me, I had a year that I care not to repeat. Back in September, I was in the middle of a CH cycle, my father had passed a month earlier, one of my most important employees had resigned and a variety of other things were happening and when I went to "the well" for more ability to cope with it I was coming up empty.
Never felt anything like it. Finally I went to the doctor. She said, I'm going to give you "these" for when you feel like you need them, but more importantly I'm going to give you this guy's card. It was the card for a therapist.
Only used the Xanax 2 times. The therapist has done wonders though. While I'm still prone to being over-anxious I'm dealing better with it. The well is starting to replenish again. But, most importantly I'm beginning to cut myself a little slack now and then. There is so much out of our control that those of us who are prone to worry, like to worry about. Just getting some of that off my back has been important. Imagine you're carrying around a 60 lb backpack, and you find a way to get half the weight out of the sack. Its better. Not best yet, but better.
With apologies for highjacking mel's thread, this is by explanation "where" I've been the last couple of months. Popping in now and then but trying to master the universe.
Scott
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| « Last Edit: Feb 4th, 2008, 6:42am by seasonalboomer » |
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artonio7
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Re: Had a full blown panic attack last night...
« Reply #21 on: Feb 4th, 2008, 7:51am » |
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on Feb 4th, 2008, 6:42am, seasonalboomer wrote:I do believe that CH raises all of our baseline anxiety levels. Some more than others. For me, I had a year that I care not to repeat. Back in September, I was in the middle of a CH cycle, my father had passed a month earlier, one of my most important employees had resigned and a variety of other things were happening and when I went to "the well" for more ability to cope with it I was coming up empty.
Never felt anything like it. Finally I went to the doctor. She said, I'm going to give you "these" for when you feel like you need them, but more importantly I'm going to give you this guy's card. It was the card for a therapist.
Only used the Xanax 2 times. The therapist has done wonders though. While I'm still prone to being over-anxious I'm dealing better with it. The well is starting to replenish again. But, most importantly I'm beginning to cut myself a little slack now and then. There is so much out of our control that those of us who are prone to worry, like to worry about. Just getting some of that off my back has been important. Imagine you're carrying around a 60 lb backpack, and you find a way to get half the weight out of the sack. Its better. Not best yet, but better.
With apologies for highjacking mel's thread, this is by explanation "where" I've been the last couple of months. Popping in now and then but trying to master the universe.
Scott |
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Scott...
Good to see you. Glad that you're finding the necessary help to lighten the load.
with warm regards,
Tony
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Melissa
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Re: Had a full blown panic attack last night...
« Reply #22 on: Feb 4th, 2008, 9:35am » |
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Scott, I'm sorry for what you're going through and want to give you a hug and let you know that you're not alone in your struggle... ever.
mel
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Rosybabe
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Re: Had a full blown panic attack last night...
« Reply #23 on: Feb 4th, 2008, 11:00am » |
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for Mel and Scott
 Rosy
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Tiannia
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Re: Had a full blown panic attack last night...
« Reply #24 on: Feb 4th, 2008, 2:33pm » |
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Well I changed it just a bit and now have this up in my office. Something that I need to remember so I dont end up back where I was in Vegas. Stressed the hell out, not living but rather fighting fires in everything I did. And loosing more and more of myself each and everyday.
Nature doesn't care about money or work , nor does it let circumstances pile up on top of it until it breaks. Look at the World around you, to the Flowers and Trees. They bend with the wind, go with the flow, shed their leaves in the fall and grow new buds in the spring.
Thanks Mel, for helping me to remember that.
/huggs Tia
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