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Topic: Sex for the.... well You figure it ou (Read 374 times) |
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Tiannia
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Life does not apologies......
 
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Sex for the.... well You figure it ou
« on: Jan 29th, 2008, 5:25pm » |
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Two deaf people get married and during the first week of marriage they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom with the lights out since they can't see each other signing, or read lips.
After several nights of fumbling around and many misunderstandings, the wife figures out a solution.
She signs:
'Honey, why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have s e x with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time.
If you don't want to have s e x, reach over and squeeze my right breast two times.'
The husband thinks this is a great idea. So he signs to his wife…
“That sounds great! If you want to have s e x, reach over and pull on my penis one time.
If you don't want to have s e x, pull on my penis two hundred and fifty times.”
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The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. - Carl Rogers
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Guiseppi
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Re: Sex for the.... well You figure it ou
« Reply #1 on: Jan 29th, 2008, 5:52pm » |
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Ummm.......  thas messed up..... 
Guiseppi
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Why are all sensors, seeking intelligent life, pointed AWAY from earth?
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Gator
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Re: Sex for the.... well You figure i
« Reply #2 on: Jan 30th, 2008, 10:05am » |
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LOL, Tia!
Here's another one:
A newly wed couple returned to their apartment after being on their honeymoon."Care to go upstairs and do it?" the husband asked."Shh!" said the bride "All the neighbors will know what we're about to do. These walls are paper thin. In the future, we'll have to ask each other in code. For example, how about asking, 'Have you left the washing machine door open' instead?"So, the following night, the husband asks, "I don't suppose you left the washing machine door open, did you?""No, I definitely shut it," replied the wife who rolled over and fell asleep.When she woke up however, she was feeling a little frisky herself and she nudged her husband and said, "I think I did leave the washing machine door open after all. Would you like to do some washing?""No, thanks," said the husband. "It was only a small load so I did it by hand."
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Tiannia
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Life does not apologies......
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Re: Sex for the.... well You figure i
« Reply #3 on: Jan 30th, 2008, 8:12pm » |
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My husband does not appreciate my jokes. hehe you your Gator. All I got was a snort and a cheesy smile.
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The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. - Carl Rogers
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kimmiedawn81
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Stuck in the middle with you!
 
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Re: Sex for the.... well You figure it ou
« Reply #4 on: Jan 31st, 2008, 2:25pm » |
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Not bad. I'll have to remember to tell my husband.
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Rosybabe
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"Too much of a good thing can be wonderful!!
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Re: Sex for the.... well You figure it ou
« Reply #5 on: Jan 31st, 2008, 3:27pm » |
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those were funny
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