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Topic: CALORIES AND SEX (Read 533 times) |
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medic1852
CH.com Alumnus
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This will only hurt for a little while!
 
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CALORIES AND SEX
« on: Jan 14th, 2008, 7:39pm » |
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CALORIES AND SEX
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent
12 Calories
Without her consent
2,187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands
..8 Calories
With one hand
.12 Calories
With your teeth
485 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection
.6 Calories
Without an erection
3,315 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary
..12 Calories
69 lying down
.78 Calories
69 standing up
.812 Calories
Wheelbarrow
...216 Calories
Doggy style
.326 Calories
Italian chandelier
.2,912 Calories
ORGASMS:
Real
.112 Calories
Fake
.1,315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging
..18 Calories
Getting up immediately
...36Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately
816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
20-29 years old
36 Calories
30-39 years old
80 Calories
40-49 years old
124 Calories
50-59 years old
.1,972 Calories
60-69 years old
.7,916 Calories
70 and over
Results are still pending
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly
.32 Calories
In a hurry
.98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door
...5,218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door
13,521 Calories
Results may vary.
THERES A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD,
Right now, as you read this, 60 Million Americans are having SEX!
And youre on the computer!!!
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Shoot Low Sherrif He's Riding a Sheltland Pony!
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Paul98
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To funny! Damn near spewed soda at the lap top laughing so hard.
-P.
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HeadhurtinMama
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Old Timer
I'll be just peachy when it quits hurting!
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Re: CALORIES AND SEX
« Reply #2 on: Jan 14th, 2008, 8:03pm » |
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Ok, ummm, somebody want to tell me what an italian chandelier is? That was seriously funny!
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Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are
Wake me up when September ends
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zwibbs/Scott
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Stay Strong !!!
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Posts: 2206
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Re: CALORIES AND SEX
« Reply #3 on: Jan 14th, 2008, 8:40pm » |
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I've been married for 31 Years-------Know I know why I've gained weight.
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There's always light at the end of the Tunnel.
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Langa
CH.com Alumnus
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So many donuts, such little time...
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Re: CALORIES AND SEX
« Reply #4 on: Jan 15th, 2008, 8:54am » |
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Wheelbarrow??? 
Langa
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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sandie99
New Board Hall of Famer
Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
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Posts: 10429
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Re: CALORIES AND SEX
« Reply #5 on: Jan 15th, 2008, 8:59am » |
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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Ghost
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Farting relieves the pressure
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Re: CALORIES AND SEX
« Reply #6 on: Jan 15th, 2008, 9:05am » |
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Dang near laughed so hard almost blew the center of my moustache off. still trying to dig the oatmeal out!
Mike
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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thomas
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Re: CALORIES AND SEX
« Reply #7 on: Jan 15th, 2008, 9:09am » |
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on Jan 14th, 2008, 8:03pm, HeadhurtinMama wrote:| Ok, ummm, somebody want to tell me what an italian chandelier is? That was seriously funny! |
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It is almost like doing push-ups, really burns the calories for the guy, works the abs pretty good.
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Religion and sex are powerplays. Manipulate the people for the money they pay. Selling skin, selling God, the numbers look the same on their credit cards. Triptans cause rebounds. Learn it, believe it, live it. I use triptans as the absolute LAST RESORT when treating my CH.
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Charlie
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Re: CALORIES AND SEX
« Reply #8 on: Jan 15th, 2008, 9:49pm » |
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Italian Chandelier.. Preeverts. 
Charlie--who can't wait to see wtf that one is.
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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nani
CH.com Alumnus
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Got kudzu?
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Posts: 7953
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Re: CALORIES AND SEX
« Reply #9 on: Jan 15th, 2008, 10:06pm » |
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on Jan 15th, 2008, 8:54am, Langa wrote:Wheelbarrow???
Langa |
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Oh my...I think I know what that is. 
No clue on the Italian Chandelier, though. Please...don't tell me.
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Others may come and go, but MY power is MINE.
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