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Topic: All girls have to read! (Read 451 times) |
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The mad viking
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Always Look on The Bright Side of Life
 
 
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All girls have to read!
« on: Jan 11th, 2008, 6:26am » |
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Got this from an norwegian female clusterhead,and i like to share it with you
Svenn
All girls have to read!
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The Why's of Men
1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
(You're laughing aren't you?!?!)
5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)
6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know.....it never happened)
( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart !
One for the ladies
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma ."
And they say blondes are dumb...
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
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"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
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Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
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Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manual."
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Always Look on The Bright Side of Life
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BarbaraD
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Hugs to ya
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Re: All girls have to read!
« Reply #1 on: Jan 11th, 2008, 7:12am » |
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All too true....
thanks Svenn 
Hugs BD
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What don't kill ya, Makes ya stonger!
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Jimi
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Who loves ya baby!
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Re: All girls have to read!
« Reply #2 on: Jan 11th, 2008, 9:28am » |
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I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
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midwestbeth
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Re: All girls have to read!
« Reply #3 on: Jan 11th, 2008, 10:01am » |
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Do more than exist - live
Do more than touch - feel
Do more than look - observe
Do more than read - absorb
Do more than hear - listen
Do more than listen - understand
~ John Rhodes
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aprilbee
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Ain't I a stinkah!!
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Re: All girls have to read!
« Reply #4 on: Jan 11th, 2008, 12:28pm » |
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on Jan 11th, 2008, 6:26am, The mad viking wrote:"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma ."
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WAY too funny LMMFAO!!! My husband, God Bless Him, fits every one of those, especially this one, and it would be an OU sweatshirt too! which made it even funnier to me.... I finally have him trained, but that is pretty much how it started off....TOO FUNNY!!!
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Charlie
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Re: All girls have to read!
« Reply #5 on: Jan 11th, 2008, 11:55pm » |
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Crazy Scandinavian.... 
Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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