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   Author  Topic: greeting cards gone bad  (Read 229 times)
aubmari
New Board Old Timer
USA 
****




Do not lose heart~

   


Gender: female
Posts: 362
greeting cards gone bad
« on: Jul 12th, 2007, 10:01am »
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Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day........  
 
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// ////////////////////////////////////////////////  
M y tire was thumping.  
 
I thought it was flat  
 
When I looked at the tire...  
 
I noticed your cat.  
 
Sorry!  
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  H eard your wife left you,  
 
How upset you must be.  
 
But don't fret about it...  
 
She moved in with me.  
 
 
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
L ooking back over the years  
 
that we've been together,  
 
I can't help but wonder...  
 
"What the hell was I thinking?"  
 
 
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
C ongratulations on your wedding day!  
 
Too bad no one likes your husband.  
 
 
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
H ow could two people as beautiful as you  
 
Have such an ugly baby?  
 
 
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
I 've always wanted to have  
 
someone to hold,  
 
someone to love.  
 
After having met you ..  
 
I've changed my mind.  
 
 
-------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------  
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.  
 
I never believed in Hell until I met you.  
 
 
   //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// //////////////////////////////////////////////  
A s the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...  
 
That you're not here to ruin it for me.  
 
 
  ####################################################  
C ongratulations on your promotion.  
 
Before you go...  
 
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?  
 
You'll probably need it again.  
 
 
************************************************************************ ********  
H appy Birthday, Uncle Dad!  
 
(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )  
 
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
H appy birthday! You look great for your age.  
 
Almost Lifelike!  
 
 
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
W hen we were together,  
 
you always said you'd die for me.  
 
Now that we've broken up,  
 
I think it's time you kept your promise.
 
 
   //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// //////////////////////////////////////////////  
W e have been friends for a very long time ..  
 
let's say we stop?  
 
 
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
I 'm so miserable without you  
 
it's almost like you're here.  
 
 
=====================================================  
C ongratulations on your new bundle of joy.  
 
Did you ever find out who the father was?  
 
 
 %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%  
Y our friends and I wanted to do  
 
something special for your birthday.  
 
So we're having you put to sleep.  
 
 
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))))))))))
S o your daughter's a hooker,  
 
and it spoiled your day.  
 
Look at the bright side,  
 
it's really good pay
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Life is too short for drama & petty things, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, Love deeply and forgive quickly.

MR_FLOOR
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
USA 
*****



Go Cubbies  / even though they suck

   
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Gender: male
Posts: 1079
Re: greeting cards gone bad
« Reply #1 on: Jul 14th, 2007, 12:44am »
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Smiley
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