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Topic: Why did the chicken cross the road? (Read 294 times) |
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burnt-toast
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
« on: Jun 18th, 2007, 10:37am » |
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The famous (infamous) answer the age-old question – “Why did the Chicken cross the road”?
Dr. Phil: The problem we have here is that chickens refuse to accept the fact that that they must first deal with problems on "THIS" side of the road before stupidly adding new problems they will encounter on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road.
Anderson Cooper - CNN: We have every reason to believe that chickens are crossing the road, but we have not been permitted access to documents confirming another side of the road is indeed safer than this side of the road, the number of chickens that have crossed successfully, or the horrific numbers reported to have been struck down in crossing attempts!
Hillary Clinton: Although I voted to let chickens cross the road, I was misled about chicken intentions and now realize it was the wrong road to cross. I would never have voted to permit chickens to cross this or any other road if the information I have now, was available to me when I voted to approve chicken crossings. I knew Notthhing!
Nancy Grace: Chickens cross the road because they’re GUILTY! You can tell by their eyes, the way they move and their refusal to stand for interrogation.
Martha Stewart: I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell eggs before chickens crossed the road. No insider information caused me to sell my eggs before prices were affected by the influx of eggs on he other side of the road.
Jerry Falwell: Because chickens are gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? That's why they call it, the "other side." Yes, my friends, chickens are gay and if you eat chicken, you are gay too. Boycott chicken until we sort out this abomination the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
Barbara Walters: In a few moments, we will witness for the first time… chickens… by their actions… tell the startling story of how despite serious molting… they accomplish life-long dreams… of crossing the road.
Bill Gates: I’ve just released E-Chicken2000 which not only helps chickens cross roads, it lays eggs for them, files important documents, and balance check books. E-Chicken2000, is an integral part of the new more stable and secure release of Internet Explorer and the Windows operating system, that will never cras… ... #@&&^(!
Albert Einstein: In theory, chickens do not physically cross roads… roads move beneath chickens making it appear that physical actions by chickens is necessary for chickens to cross roads.
Bill Clinton: I did not cross the road with that chicken. Please define “the”.
Al Gore: I invented the other side of the road… and chickens!
Dick Cheney: Neah… Where's my gun?
George Bush and the U.S. Senate: It’s not amnesty… honest... chickens crossing the road are only granted permanently renewable temporary work visas for the other side of the road.
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Would the owner of the propane torch, egg beater, pipe expander and vise grips please claim these items. They're lodged in my head and I need the space.
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