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Topic: Decoding english (Read 464 times) |
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JeffB
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Decoding english
« on: Apr 20th, 2007, 12:01pm » |
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DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish..................................49.
Adventurous.............................Slept with everyone.
Athletic................................No breasts.
Average looking.........................Moooo.
Beautiful...............................Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure......................On medication.
Feminist................................Fat.
Free Spirit.............................Junkie.
Friendship first........................Former very *friendly* person.
New-Age.................................Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned...........................No B.J.'s
Open-minded.............................Desperate.
Outgoing................................Loud and embarrassing.
Professional............................Bitch.
Voluptuous..............................Very fat.
Large frame.............................Hugely fat.
Wants soul mate.........................Stalker.
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
Yes.....................................No
No......................................Yes
Maybe................................. .No
We need.................................I want
I am sorry..............................You'll be sorry
We need to talk.........................You're in trouble
Sure, go ahead..........................You better not
Do what you want........................You will pay for this later
I am not upset..........................Of course, I am upset, you moron!
You're attentive tonight................Is sex all you ever think about?
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:
I am hungry.............................I am hungry
I am sleepy.............................I am sleepy
I am tired..............................I am tired
Nice dress..............................Nice cleavage!
I love you..............................Let's have sex now
I am bored..............................Do you want to have sex?
May I have this dance?..................I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime?................I'd like to have sex with you.
Do you want to go to a movie?...........I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner?...........I'd like to have sex with you.
I don't think those shoes go with that outfit..............I'm gay.
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" It's been my experience that people who have no vices have very little virtues."
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zwibbs/Scott
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Re: Decoding english
« Reply #1 on: Apr 27th, 2007, 5:23am » |
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[smiley=laugh.gif 
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There's always light at the end of the Tunnel.
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Rosybabe
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Re: Decoding english
« Reply #2 on: May 8th, 2007, 10:05pm » |
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Lejla
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Re: Decoding english
« Reply #3 on: May 9th, 2007, 12:34pm » |
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So true! 
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MR_FLOOR
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Re: Decoding english
« Reply #4 on: May 31st, 2007, 12:12am » |
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Perfect
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tanner
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Re: Decoding english
« Reply #5 on: May 31st, 2007, 1:58am » |
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I AM THE MASTER OF MY MIND, MY BODY, AND MY EMOTIONS...
it's just my head that sucks...http://www.centerforlit.com/
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Tara Ann
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Re: Decoding english
« Reply #6 on: May 31st, 2007, 8:59am » |
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hahah it reminded me of this one...
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http://www.myspace.com/taraann77
 
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mynm156
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Re: Decoding english
« Reply #7 on: Jun 1st, 2007, 4:31am » |
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"Half of the modern drugs could well be thrown out of the window, except that the birds might eat them."
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