Author |
Topic: Anger Management...funny... (Read 328 times) |
|
LasVegas
New Board Veteran
Episodic CH since 11 yrs old, now 39.
Gender: 
Posts: 206
|
 |
Anger Management...funny...
« on: Mar 23rd, 2007, 8:00pm » |
 Quote  Modify
|
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."
I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f**in number!" and the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an not a very nice person!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'not a very nice person' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an not a very nice person!" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic "not a very nice person calling" would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Verizon. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an not a very nice person!"
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I 'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window which included his phone number, so I wrote down the number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first not a very nice person (I had his number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW not a very nice person, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is," he said.
"Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.
"Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd , in Vaucluse. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked.
"My name is Don Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Don, you're an not a very nice person!" Then I hung up and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two not a very nice persons to call. Then I came up with an idea. I called not a very nice person #1.
"Hello."
"You're an not a very nice person!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"not a very nice person, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd , Vaucluse, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, not a very nice person," and hung up.
Then I called not a very nice person #2. "Hello?" he said.
"Hello, not a very nice person," I said.
He yelled , "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, not a very nice person, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Mowbray Blvd , Vaucluse, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse. I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray. I got there just in time to watch two not a very nice persons beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.
NOW I feel much better. Anger management really works...
|
|
 IP Logged |
Wishing all a Pain Free 2008!
|
|
|
Turts
New Board Hall of Famer
Ever danced with the devil by the pale moonlight
Gender:
Posts: 701
|
|
Re: Anger Management...funny...
« Reply #1 on: Apr 2nd, 2007, 10:51pm » |
Quote Modify
|
i suggest we ALL promise to be nice to you from now on.
Turts
|
|
IP Logged |
'I'm very brave generally,' he went on in a low voice: 'only today I happen to have a headache.' (Lewis Carroll)
|
|
|
Yorky
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
learn to meditate (or just sit & do nowt)
Gender:
Posts: 1280
|
|
Re: Anger Management...funny...
« Reply #2 on: Apr 2nd, 2007, 11:27pm » |
Quote Modify
|
vegas....you are my kind of person..
thanks for the laugh.ha,ha,ha...
call the beast tell him hes not a very nice person
|
|
IP Logged |
today is a gift.....thats why it is called the
present.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Home
Help
Search
Members
Member Map
Login
Register
Reply
Notify of replies
Send Topic
Print
test rss