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Topic: Why I do EVERYTHING !!!& art at publix & d (Read 316 times) |
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minnie
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my greatest joys are my daughters April & Beth
 
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Why I do EVERYTHING !!!& art at publix & d
« on: Mar 17th, 2007, 11:47am » |
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Why I do everything.........  
The population of this country is 300 million.
160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 55 million to do the work.
Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 15 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces
Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city governments.
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me
And there you are,
sitting on your ass,
at your computer, reading jokes.
Nice, Real Nice!!
----___________---------____________---------________
Art at Publix
A little old guy named "Art", is walking around in a supermarket calling out,
Crisco, Crisssssssco
Soon an assistant manager approaches and says, "Sir, the Crisco is in aisle 3.
Art the old guy replies, "Oh, I'm not looking for the cooking stuff.
I'm calling my wife. She's in here somewhere."
The clerk is astonished. "Your wife's name is Crisco?"
The old guy answers, "Oh no, no, no. I only call her that when we're out in public."
The Clerk- "I see". "What do you call her at home?"
Art, -"Lard ass."
-------_________--------___________----------______-----
ART GOES TO THE DOC
They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there,
and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing.
There's nothing worse than a Doctor's receptionist who insists you tell her
what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this,
and I love the way this old guy handled it.
"Art an 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.
The receptionist asked, "Yes, sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?"
"Art"replies;- "There's something wrong with my dick".
The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that."
"Art" sez, "Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you."
The receptionist replied; "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people.
You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further
with the doctor in private."
Art replied, "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone."
Art walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.
The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"
Art sez, There's something wrong with my ear."
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.
"And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?"
Art sez, "I can't piss out of it."
The waiting room erupted in laughter.
***modified to add art **** LOL
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| « Last Edit: Mar 17th, 2007, 11:58am by minnie » |
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Friends are Angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly
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You may only be one person to the world
but you may also be the world to one person.
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Callico
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Proud Dad of a US Marine!
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Re: Why I do EVERYTHING !!!& art at publix &am
« Reply #1 on: Mar 18th, 2007, 4:29pm » |
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I've got the same prob with my ears too! Too funny! 
jc
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"When He acts on the left, I cannot behold Him; He turns on the right I cannot see Him. But He knows the way that I take; when He has tried me I shall come forth as gold." Job23:9,10
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Barry_T_Coles
CH.com Alumnus
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Posts: 1348
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Re: Why I do EVERYTHING !!!& art at publix &am
« Reply #2 on: Mar 22nd, 2007, 8:25pm » |
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And people look amazed when I say I am listening to the porcelain.
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Worry is like a rocking chair it gives you something to do but gets you nowhere.
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