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Topic: St. Peter??? (Read 252 times) |
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JeffB
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Wide open till you see God, then brake
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St. Peter???
« on: Mar 13th, 2007, 1:07pm » |
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After a night of drinking, Brian crept into bed beside his wife who was
already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.
When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed
wearing a long flowing white robe.
"Who the hell are you?" demanded Brian, "and what are you doing in my
bedroom?"
The mysterious Man answered, "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St. Peter".
Brian was stunned, "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so
much too live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family.... you've got to
send me back right away".
St Peter replied, "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a
catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen."
Brian was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his
house,he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later, he was
covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. "This ain't so
bad," he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said, "So you're the new
hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?"
"It's not so bad," replies Brian, "but I have this strange feeling
inside like I'm about to explode".
"You're ovulating," explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've
never laid an egg before."
"Never," replies Brian.
"Well just relax and let it happen."
And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg
pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him
and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the
first time.
When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was
overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best
thing that had
happened to him..ever!!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg
he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife
shouting,
"Brian,wake up you drunken
bastard, you're shittin' in the bed!"
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" It's been my experience that people who have no vices have very little virtues."
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LeLimey
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OUCH-US - Less "ME" and more "WE"
 
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Re: St. Peter???
« Reply #1 on: Mar 13th, 2007, 5:14pm » |
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EWWWWWWWW!!!!!
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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andrewjb
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when the love of power becomes the power of love !
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Re: St. Peter???
« Reply #2 on: Mar 14th, 2007, 8:54am » |
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Barry_T_Coles
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Re: St. Peter???
« Reply #3 on: Mar 14th, 2007, 7:58pm » |
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Worry is like a rocking chair it gives you something to do but gets you nowhere.
http://mushys.com/kiwi
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Rosybabe
CH.com Alumnus
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"Too much of a good thing can be wonderful!!
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Re: St. Peter???
« Reply #4 on: Mar 15th, 2007, 8:04pm » |
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que cochino!!!! 
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 Believing is just the beginning!
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