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Topic: 10 Husbands (Read 544 times) |
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JeffB
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10 Husbands
« on: Jan 19th, 2007, 4:46pm » |
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A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin.
What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?
"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative;
he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in Software Services;
he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from Field Services;
he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in Telemarketing;
even though he knew he had the order, didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an Engineer;
he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from Finance and Administration;
he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in Marketing;
although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychiatrist;
all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist;
all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector;
all he ever did was ... God, I miss him!
"But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the husband, "but, why?"
"Duh; you're a LAWYER. This time I KNOW I'm gonna get screwed!"
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" It's been my experience that people who have no vices have very little virtues."
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LeLimey
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Re: 10 Husbands
« Reply #1 on: Jan 19th, 2007, 5:03pm » |
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You're an Admin guy right Jefferooni?! 
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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JeffB
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Re: 10 Husbands
« Reply #2 on: Jan 19th, 2007, 5:16pm » |
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 Yeah, But I really wanna be a lumberjack if thats o.k. ...........................And hang around in bars! 
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" It's been my experience that people who have no vices have very little virtues."
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LeLimey
CH.com Alumnus
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OUCH-US - Less "ME" and more "WE"
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Re: 10 Husbands
« Reply #3 on: Jan 19th, 2007, 5:24pm » |
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Don't tell me.. you've got your "splinter" in your hand as you type huh?! You've got the bar bit sorted anyhow 
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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JeffB
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Re: 10 Husbands
« Reply #4 on: Jan 19th, 2007, 6:00pm » |
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Let all sing along
I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay.
I sleep all night and I work all day.
MOUNTIES:
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
BARBER:
I cut down trees. I eat my lunch.
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.
MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He eats his lunch.
He goes to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he goes shopping
And has buttered scones for tea.
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
BARBER:
I cut down trees. I skip and jump.
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars.
MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He skips and jumps.
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around in bars?!
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
BARBER:
I cut down trees. I wear high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie,
Just like my dear Papa.
MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He wears high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra?!
[talking]
What's this? Wants to be a girlie?! Oh, My!
And I thought you were so rugged! Poofter!...
[singing]
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
He's a lumberjack, and he's okaaaaay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
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" It's been my experience that people who have no vices have very little virtues."
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andrewjb
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when the love of power becomes the power of love !
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Re: 10 Husbands
« Reply #6 on: Jan 19th, 2007, 8:59pm » |
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alienspacebabe
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yup. i am. i do. uh huh. you know it hon.
 
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Re: 10 Husbands
« Reply #7 on: Jan 20th, 2007, 12:42am » |
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on Jan 19th, 2007, 4:46pm, JeffB wrote:
Husband #8 was a psychiatrist;
all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist;
all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector;
all he ever did was ... God, I miss him!
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How about a psychiatrist/stamp collector? Lots of talking about it, then.........
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Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.
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sandie99
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Re: 10 Husbands
« Reply #8 on: Jan 22nd, 2007, 11:55am » |
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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MR_FLOOR
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Go Cubbies / even though they suck
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Re: 10 Husbands
« Reply #9 on: Jun 7th, 2007, 1:16am » |
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