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Topic: Dear Abby (Read 238 times) |
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Mr_Miller
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Posts: 3
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Dear Abby
I'm writing to ask you if you think there's some sort of funny business going on. I'll tell you why, because all my adult life I've enjoyed a drink. I've spent years and years, all over the world, standing up and drinking beer and then falling down again. Well, of course, with these clusters I can't do that anymore. I don't drink alcohol at all now. Nothing. Ever.
Then there's bacon. Breakfast was always bacon and eggs and in my book you can't beat a bacon sandwich. But, same thing there. I can't eat bacon at all anymore - not with all those nitrates - so that's out too.
Now, keep it quiet, but are you beginning to smell a bit of a rat here? I mean, who else in this world turns their back on bacon and booze? Do you see what I'm saying?
And another thing. More and more these days I find myself lolling about with a sort of towel tied round my head. What's that then? Chance? Coincidence? I'm beginning to think not, especially as five times a day now, regular as clockwork, I have to go off and bang my head somewhere.
So, what do you think Abby? Is there some sort of tampering going on? Are we being nobbled?
Yours Urgently
'Bewildered'
P.S. Please respond soon as I'm frightened I'll wake up one day and discover I've issued a fatwa.
P.P.S. Could you please send me your leaflet on circumcision for the elderly?
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