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Topic: Dilbert Quotes (Read 234 times) |
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Dape
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WHY BOTHER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!
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Dilbert Quotes
« on: Sep 9th, 2006, 9:07pm » |
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A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-type managers. These were voted the top ten quotes in corporate America:
"As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks."
(This was the winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA)
"What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter."
(Lykes Lines Shipping)
"E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used
only for company business."
(Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)
"This project is so important we can't let things that are more important interfere with it."
(Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)
"Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule."
(Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)
"No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them."
(R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)
Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say."
(Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)
My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me."
(Shipping executive, FTD Florists)
"We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees."
(Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)
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D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F ???
Well i used to 
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Katherinecm
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Re: Dilbert Quotes
« Reply #1 on: Sep 11th, 2006, 5:19pm » |
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LOL 
Thanks for that!
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http://www.squidoo.com/clusterheadaches/
"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings that have a human experience." Teilhard de Chardin
"It is not death or pain that is to be dreaded, but the fear of pain or death." Epictetus
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