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   Author  Topic: Sayings not found on Hallmark Cards  (Read 286 times)
zwibbs/Scott
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Sayings not found on Hallmark Cards
« on: Jun 30th, 2006, 4:25pm »
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THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY!!!!
 
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// ///////////////////////////////////////////////  
M y tire was thumping.  
 
I thought it was flat  
 
When I looked at the tire...  
 
I noticed your cat.  
 
Sorry!  
 
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
 
H eard your wife left you,  
How upset you must be.  
 
But don't fret about it...  
 
She moved in with me.  
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
 
L ooking back over the years  
 
that we've been together,  
 
I can't help but wonder...  
 
"What the hell was I thinking?"  
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
 
C ongratulations on your wedding day!  
 
Too bad no one likes your husband.  
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
 
H ow could two people as beautiful as you  
 
Have such an ugly baby?  
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
 
I 've always wanted to have  
 
someone to hold,  
 
someone to love  
 
After having met you ..  
 
I've changed my mind.  
 
-------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------  
 
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.  
 
I never believed in Hell until I met you.  
 
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// //////////////////////////////////////////////  
 
A s the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...  
 
That you're not here to ruin it for me.  
 
####################################################  
 
C ongratulations on your promotion.  
 
Before you go...  
 
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?  
 
You'll probably need it again.  
 
************************************************************************ ********  
 
H appy Birthday, Uncle Dad!  
 
(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & North Carolina)  
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
 
H appy birthday! You look great for your age.  
 
Almost Lifelike!  
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
 
W hen we were together,  
 
you always said you'd die for me.  
 
Now that we've broken up,  
 
I think it's time you kept your promise.  
 
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// //////////////////////////////////////////////  
 
W e have been friends for a very long time ..  
 
let's say we stop?  
 
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
 
I 'm so miserable without you  
 
it's almost like you're here.  
 
=====================================================  
 
C ongratulations on your new bundle of joy.  
 
Did you ever find out who the father was?  
 
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%  
 
Y our  
 
friends and I wanted to do  
 
something special for your birthday  
 
So we're having you put to sleep.  
 
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))))))))))  
 
S o your daughter's a hooker,  
and it spoiled your day.  
 
 
Look at the bright side,  
 
it's really good pay  
 
 
IP Logged

There's always light at the end of the Tunnel.
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