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Saint John Kerry
« on: Jun 24th, 2006, 2:31pm » |
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Cardinal Sermon for John Kerry
On a Saturday afternoon, in Washington, D.C., Senator John Kerry's campaign manager visited the Cardinal of the Catholic cathedral. He told the Cardinal that John Kerry would be attending the next day's sermon, and he asked if the Cardinal would kindly point out Kerry to the congregation and say a few words that would include calling Kerry a saint.
The Cardinal replied, "No, I don't really like the man, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over certain of Kerry's views.
Kerry's manager then said, "Look, I'll write a check here and
now for a donation of $100,000 to your church if you'll just tell the congregation you see Kerry as a saint"
The Cardinal thought about it and said, "Well, the church can use the money, so I'll work your request into tomorrow's sermon."
As Kerry's manager promised, Senator Kerry appeared for the Sunday sermon and seated himself prominently at the edge of the main aisle. And, during the sermon, as promised, the Cardinal pointed out that Senator Kerry was present.
Then the Cardinal went on to explain to the congregation, "While Senator Kerry's
presence is probably an honor to some, he is not my favorite person. Some of his views are contrary to those of the church, and he tends to flip-flop on many other views. John Kerry is a petty, self absorbed hypocrite and a nit-wit. John Kerry is a liar, a cheat, and a thief. John Kerry is the worst example of a Catholic I've ever personally witnessed. He turned on his buddies in Viet Nam. He wrote a book and portrayed himself in the best light when he was a traitor to his fellow servicemen. He has lied about his military record and had the gall to put himself in for a medal. He married for money and is using it to lie to the American people. He also has a reputation for shirking his senatorial obligations both here, in Washington, and in Massachusetts. He simply isn't to be trusted."
The Cardinal completed his view of Kerry with, "But, when compared to Senator Ted Kennedy, Senator Kerry is a saint."
... now I want you all to know that I was going to post this to the General Board when I first recieved it so that more people would see it. My wife being the good person that she is told me that would be mean! I recieved it as a joke and that is the only way I should pass it along so she has probably saved me from some major flaming 
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I AM THE MASTER OF MY MIND, MY BODY, AND MY EMOTIONS...
it's just my head that sucks...http://www.centerforlit.com/
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Jonny
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Re: Saint John Kerry
« Reply #1 on: Jun 25th, 2006, 12:58pm » |
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
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JeffB
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Re: Saint John Kerry
« Reply #2 on: Jun 26th, 2006, 12:30pm » |
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Err a, Kerry is no saint err a. He never drove off a bridge errr a,
Just ask my son Patrick, I should be a saint since my head is three times bigger than Barry Bonds....errr a ....Some one get me a drink and some wh..res to drown err a.
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" It's been my experience that people who have no vices have very little virtues."
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zwibbs/Scott
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Re: Saint John Kerry
« Reply #3 on: Jun 26th, 2006, 12:55pm » |
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on Jun 26th, 2006, 12:30pm, JeffB wrote:Err a, Kerry is no saint err a. He never drove off a bridge errr a,
Just ask my son Patrick, I should be a saint since my head is three times bigger than Barry Bonds....errr a ....Some one get me a drink and some wh..res to drown err a. |
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Wait a minute here----Are you telling me that the good senator from Massachusetts is on steroids ?!?!?!
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JeffB
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Re: Saint John Kerry
« Reply #4 on: Jun 26th, 2006, 1:57pm » |
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on Jun 26th, 2006, 12:55pm, zwibbs/Scott wrote:
Wait a minute here----Are you telling me that the good senator from Massachusetts is on steroids ?!?!?! |
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Err a, my liver has it's own zip code. Err a I thought that woman was a better swimmer.....err a I haven't seen my penis in 40 years...errr a can I please get some sleepers to eat, err a why do the people of this great state keep electing me?? Err Aa I banged Hillary in a drunken haze eer a she haas the biggest penis I ever saw! Errr a I can't wipe my own aass, I also pee vodka!
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" It's been my experience that people who have no vices have very little virtues."
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zwibbs/Scott
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Stay Strong !!!
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Re: Saint John Kerry
« Reply #5 on: Jun 26th, 2006, 4:17pm » |
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on Jun 26th, 2006, 1:57pm, JeffB wrote:
Err a, my liver has it's own zip code. Err a I thought that woman was a better swimmer.....err a I haven't seen my penis in 40 years...errr a can I please get some sleepers to eat, err a why do the people of this great state keep electing me?? Err Aa I banged Hillary in a drunken haze eer a she haas the biggest penis I ever saw! Errr a I can't wipe my own aass, I also pee vodka! |
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LOL !!!! I think he MUST have been drinking Chivas Regal !!!! Not Vodka !!!!
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There's always light at the end of the Tunnel.
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