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Topic: Memo to Beast (Read 289 times) |
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AlienSpaceBabe
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Memorandum
TO: The Beast
FROM: Lizzie etal
RE: Our appointments
Due to circumstances beyond my control, I will no longer be able to accommodate our six daily appointments. While I appreciate you arriving promptly at 6:45pm every evening, since the other appointments are unscheduled we will no longer be able to continue our sordid and disturbing relationship.
I wish to thank you for making me a stronger person during our daily appointments, but must admit that I will not miss those appointments as I will be able to fill that time with useful activities including sleeping.
Should you have any problem with the cancellation of our daily appointments, please respond by memo within the next 1.26798 minutes as failure to do so will cause our relationship to cease forever.
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ClusterChuck
CH.com Alumnus
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The BEAST rises again, and again, and again, and .
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Re: Memo to Beast
« Reply #1 on: Oct 2nd, 2003, 2:40pm » |
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So well written !!! If only the SOB would listen to it! He seems to be imune to sublety or directness. A real obstinate bastard!
But, if perchance, he listens, let us know! This board will be inundated with other letters!!!
Chuck
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"No man can be happy without a friend, nor be sure of his friend till he is unhappy."
Thomas Fuller
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vig
CH.com Alumnus
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CHit Happens
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Re: Memo to Beast
« Reply #2 on: Oct 2nd, 2003, 2:47pm » |
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ASB,
did it work?
-p
(I tried that too, but later I found the note crumpled in his trash bin.)
prick.
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never, Never, NEVER quit. -Winston Churchill
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AlienSpaceBabe
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The Beast has failed to reply.... therefore our relationship has concluded.
Having given sufficient notice, I assume I can sue for harassment if THE BEAST continues to attempt to enter my life. Isn't there some new stalker law that can be applied here?
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cathy
CH.com Alumnus
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Not all those that wander are lost......
 
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Re: Memo to Beast
« Reply #4 on: Oct 2nd, 2003, 2:53pm » |
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ROFLMAO....that is soooo good thanks for the laughs... ;D
PF vibes to you..
Cathy
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My own tears would mean nothing to me, if I could stop you from just shedding one....
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SFChris
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Elizabeth,
How the $%^# are you? Long time - no talk. Sorry to hear that you are getting hit so often...stay in touch.
Chris
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Margi
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Re: Memo to Beast
« Reply #6 on: Oct 2nd, 2003, 3:33pm » |
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Way to go, Lizzie! 
Now....if we could only find the right address for the Beast (he keeps moving and not leaving forwarding instructions). Maybe you should send that Registered Mail instead of relying on the postal system.
Keep that kick ass 'tude, gal. It will get you through.
Cheers
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http://askusaboutourgrandkids.photosite.com/
And, on the Eighth Day...God created Beer (to stop the Canadians from taking over the world)
source unknown
IMHO (which in my universe is correct)
kathy copelin, ch.com 8/8/06
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Ree
New Board Hall of Famer
2008's my year to shine~SUN IS OUT!!!YAY
  
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Re: Memo to Beast
« Reply #7 on: Oct 2nd, 2003, 6:40pm » |
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Awwwwwwwww Lizzie sorry you're hurting better days are coming... believe (he hates people that believe... )that it will end.........love ree
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Proud Mom to US ARMY Kiowa OH58 PILOT~CWO2 SCOTT Hawaii, & USMC Vet~Now POLICE OFFICER SEAN, Citizen of the Month~ Breezy~ Nana 4 Matt/Mike&Aya, MIL To Shino Wife to Dave HI BILL!http://www.myspace.com/dungareespocket http://www.prohawaiian.com
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AlienSpaceBabe
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Memorandum
TO: The Beast
FROM: Lizzie etal
Your failure to cease and desist from entering any part of my life, as shown last evening and this morning by your blatant disregard to stay the fuck away, has brought this issue to a head (pun intended).
I see that I will have to follow other avenues to remove you from my life permanently, using Beast deterrents of oxygen and imitrex until I am successful in eradicating you from my life forever.
A restraining order, mandating that you remain at least 100 feet away from me at all times, has been filed with the court. Should you decide to visit me again, I will prosecute using that restraining order to the fullest extent of the law.
Be warned, Beast, that I am onto your cruel tricks. You will not succeed. I will win.
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Turts
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Ever danced with the devil by the pale moonlight
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Re: Memo to Beast
« Reply #9 on: Oct 3rd, 2003, 7:55am » |
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Maybe you should send an audio tape, just in case the beast is illiterate.
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'I'm very brave generally,' he went on in a low voice: 'only today I happen to have a headache.' (Lewis Carroll)
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AlienSpaceBabe
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To the Beast:
Fine. You win. You have all my money... all my imitrex is gone... What the FUCK else do you want from me? At the rate you're going, you ass hole, I will have no job and no place to live by the end of the year! How the hell will you visit me then? Yeah, you'll find a way. You always do. I sneak away to New York or Costa Rica... there you are, waiting for me.... waiting to pounce/stab/rip into my head.
NOW GET THIS THROUGH YOUR THICK HEAD, YOU FUCKER:
If you keep attacking me, soon there'll be nothing left to attack.
If you keep coming to me at work, I lose my job. I lose my job--> I lose my house. I lose my house-->I'm out on the streets. I'm on the streets-->I die. I die-->you can't visit me ever again. DUH!!! Why not give me a fucking break? Then there'll be a bit of Lizzie left for you to torture for years and years to come.
If you keep coming to me in public, people will think I'm nuts. People think I'm nuts-->I end up in the psych hospital. End up in the hospital-->Can't pay my bills. Can't pay my bills-->lose my house, etc...... DUH!!!
Oh, you're enjoying attacking when I'm down, aren't you? No imitrex to fight back, so you swoop in for the kill.... well you're not gonna kill me you fuckhead. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. So my social life is dead... you killed it - getting hit in public is humiliating, people either fear the CHer or pity her.
Damn it! Why doesn't logic work on you, you filthy beast? Hello? Are you even listening to me? Duh to me - of course not, you're getting ready to strike again.
I'm whiny. I'm bitchy. I'm low. I'm blue, and black-and-blue. I'm tired. I'm sore. I'm hurting. GRIPE, GRIPE, GRIPE. BITCH, BITCH, BITCH.
note: Lizzie is NOT suicidal (just royally pissed off and in pain, of course) nor has she lost her mind, despite all evidence to the contrary, but rather has regained a sense of humor
Oddly, I don't feel the least bit better after writing all this. Usually I do.....
So, Beast, get out of my life. Leave me alone or I'll come after you with a MEAT CLEAVER drenched in acid. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED BEAST....
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| « Last Edit: Oct 8th, 2003, 1:45pm by AlienSpaceBabe » |
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miCHel
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Re: Memo to Beast
« Reply #11 on: Oct 8th, 2003, 5:38pm » |
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Just read your post Lizzie...
You had me scared for a minute. Glad to see you are just totally pissed off. But I am so sorry you are having it so rough right now 
Too bad writing this didn't make you feel better because you expressed beautifully the relation a lot of us have with this god damn beast. I for one could certainly relate.
Hopefully by the time I write this you will already be feeling much better. That's what I hope for you!
Hang in there. It will pass. It always does...
miCHel
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Good one Scotty! Now beam down my clothes...
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suzy617
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Love is friendship set on fire
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Re: Memo to Beast
« Reply #12 on: Oct 9th, 2003, 3:11am » |
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Lizzie,
Just popped in to wish you well my friend. In a rush right now to go to work but will send you my phone number. Please call when you need to talk.
Hang in there,
Suzy
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When God measures men, He puts the tape around the heart, not the head.
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Charlie
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Happy to be here
 
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Re: Memo to Beast
« Reply #13 on: Oct 9th, 2003, 4:28am » |
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Wow Cuddlepumpkin.
Hope you never get mad at me. 
Nice sentiments but you need to really get nasty 
What makes you think he can read by the way? The dumber these bottom feeders are the more time they have for you.
Pisses me off too.
Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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Tara Ann
CH.com Alumnus
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It's always darkest before the dawn.
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Re: Memo to Beast
« Reply #14 on: Oct 9th, 2003, 6:24am » |
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Oh Lizzie I'm so sorry to hear you are in so much pain right now....Hang in there Hun....Lotsa Vibes from me to you!
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http://www.myspace.com/taraann77
 
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