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neiselee
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The problem that I'm dealing with more and more with each of my severe cycles is depression.
First I would have just increased irritability.
Then I had a severe wave of depression when the pain would let up.
Now I'm in this like horrible pit of despair and I'm having so many problems.
Does anybody else have this or are you dealing with this or taking medications. I'm starting to think that maybe I should change my anti-depressant but when I'm not in the severe cycles I'm happy with it.
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Ray
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Re: Depression
« Reply #1 on: Oct 28th, 2007, 4:53pm » |
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Dear Neiselee:
I deal with the depression rollercoaster and CH. The worse the season of CH are, the worse the depression is. I would talk with your doctor about the medications. Beware that some interract with cluster medications and the meds are not the answer in themselves.
I hope you have a good therapist and support system.
PF and depression free wishes,
Ray
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You have my prayers and compassion-I'm right there with you.
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Jonny
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Re: Depression
« Reply #2 on: Oct 28th, 2007, 5:03pm » |
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on Oct 28th, 2007, 4:03pm, neiselee wrote:
Then I had a severe wave of depression when the pain would let up. |
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Thats about the time im doing the happy dance.
Sorry, I must be wierd.
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
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phil_h
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Re: Depression
« Reply #3 on: Oct 28th, 2007, 6:31pm » |
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Neiselee, I hear that ........ I did change my antidepressant which seems to help . I post on this board to keep from isolating and get and give support . This helps with my feeling state , not necessarily CH's...... phil h 
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gore2424
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Re: Depression
« Reply #4 on: Oct 28th, 2007, 6:39pm » |
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Yes have been taking anti panic and anti depression meds right after becoming chronic in Nov. 1999
both helps me on a day to day life
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Karla
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Re: Depression
« Reply #5 on: Oct 29th, 2007, 10:33am » |
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I have battled depression for a long time related to ch. I can relate to what you are going through. Please talk to your dr about adjusting your antidepressant dose or switching meds. It is actually quite common for antidepressants to stop working at some time and point and to need an increase in dosage or switch of meds. I think the key here is getting a good control of your ch. then you wouldn't be so down correct? If so, are you using oxygen? If not you should try it. Many use it sucessfully. There are links to the left that describe in detail how to use it and at what dosage levels. Also check into maby a predison taper or using verapamil and lithium combo if they don't work seperatly. If that doesn't work maybe elavil, zyprexa, topamax, or neurontin. Good luck!
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Karla
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birdman
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Re: Depression
« Reply #6 on: Oct 29th, 2007, 10:39am » |
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I swear that depression/anxiety and CH go hand in hand. One feeds of the other and so on. Just keep up the fight and come here everyday and write, write, write.
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jackieg
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Re: Depression
« Reply #7 on: Oct 29th, 2007, 11:00am » |
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I start to lose it with my family about 6 weeks in to the cycle because they just don't get it. Even after 20 years! My husband still asks stupid questions and gives useless advice. I just want them to be extra sensitive during this time but they are not. I don't know if they are frustrated or annoyed or both. I will tell you that I have learned to get through the depression by focusing on the non-cycle times and looking ahead to them. Also, I seem to take greater notice of those around me suffering from other illnesses. My 30 year old neighbor has MS and a new baby. I watch him limping to work smiling as he goes. I just attenmded a funeral for a 48 year old woman who died of brain cancer and another friend who is also near death. I see children in wheel chairs and people with disabilities and thank God that my children are healthy and my problem is temporary (hopefully).
YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU ARE STRONG. I know you are suffering a great deal, as I am. I am tired of waking up every 2 hours to run to a stupid tank. I am tired of being a slave to my house, afraid to wander too far in case I have a hit. But I will tell you after 20 years that I feel the best I have during a cycle for several reasons I believe to be true. NO MORE MEDS!!! I drink water, massage my neck and shoulders a lot, drink the coffee as needed, relax the best I can, I am experimenting with the seeds, taking 4 in the morning and 6-8 at night. I plan on doing this for a few weeks. I'm not sure it is the best way, but I feel in control of the headcahes and natural has to be better thatn all those bottles of pills. They made the depression in other cycles worse, if not causing it!!!. I am waking less and the hits are not as strong and are easily aborted with O2. I am preying for an early ending. I will pray for you too! STAY STRONG. DON"T GIVE IN AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!
Jackie
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sandie99
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Re: Depression
« Reply #8 on: Oct 29th, 2007, 11:31am » |
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Neiselee,
I've been through more "clusterblues" bouts than I want to remember.  I dealed with mine without medication (probably foolish during few points), but I tend to react to all meds strongly so I avoid them if I possibly can.
I do hope that you let us know what's going on in your life and how the ch and the depression are behaving.
Wishing you lots of PF days,
Sanna
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Barry_T_Coles
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Re: Depression
« Reply #9 on: Oct 29th, 2007, 5:52pm » |
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Depression’s only anger without enthusiasm.
If you can beat off the beast ya can beat off his cousin “depression”.
PFDs
Cheers
Barry
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neiselee
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Re: Depression
« Reply #10 on: Oct 29th, 2007, 7:27pm » |
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Thanks for all the advice. One problem that I have is that I'm afraid I'm in an area where I don't think the physicians are really too familiar with CH. I used to work for a neurologist and I asked him what the difference was between cluster headaches and migraines were when I first got diagnosed and he said that they were just a type of migraine and I know that I never saw him or any of his partners diagnose O2 to anybody and they cover a very large part of northern Ohio. I used to use prednisone and it worked very well but then it was discovered that I had such a sensitivity to it that I was going into psychosis from it. I have more recently been put on Topomax and that has helped greatly and with this cycle I have started caffeine which I usually try to avoid and today I started trying to rub my neck and shoulders regularly and I'm taking an insane amount of motrin to help with the inflammation in my neck and shoulders. That seems to be helping today. We'll just have to see what tomorrow brings though because I'm doing a job where we're not allowed to drink anything, not coffee or water, or anything while on the job so we'll see.
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Emily
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Re: Depression
« Reply #11 on: Oct 30th, 2007, 7:37am » |
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Hello,
One of my first posts was about exactly the same thing. Since finding this board, I have felt better. You will also realise that those pain free days are precious and you can't stay in bed feeling sorry for yourself (I save that for in between hits!).
Also, when you know that other people feel the same, it seems to make things better. It certainly did for me anyway.
Keep reading and posting here. It is an invaluable tool in the fight against the Beast.
Em
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barry_sword
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Re: Depression
« Reply #12 on: Oct 30th, 2007, 7:48am » |
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I find when I am about half way through a cycle I fall into a stage of depression. My last cycles were about 2 years long each and I am about half way through this one.
Another factor is that my half way point is late fall and sometimes the changing seasons have some negative ways. It could be also after a year of fighting the beast one just simply get's wore out fighting this thing.
Just my experience with depression and the beast.
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kcopelin
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Re: Depression
« Reply #13 on: Oct 30th, 2007, 1:33pm » |
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Depression and anxiety are also associated with brain chemistry. Obviously, we have dicey hypothalumoose (plural of hypo thingy) which controls many neurochemicals. Depression and anxiety can have a purely physical basis and there's no shame in treating it with chemicals.
On the other hand, we have decisions to make every moment. Decisions to be angry or forgive. Decisions to think about tomorrow or yesterday instead of right now.
Decisions to live captive to pain, or to "take arms against a sea of foes and by opposing, end them" (apologies to Hamlet/bill shakespear)
The decisions seem like no-brainers but the most destructive or negative are often the easiest to make.
I didn't realize I was depressed until I took a test, and answered Yes to almost every question. I talked to my doctor, explained that I wasn't weepy and pouting and all sad but that I did have the symptoms of clinical depression. And anxiety.
I took issue with that because I believe that I don't need to be anxious about anything, I can take it all to God and "the peace that passes understanding will be mine in Christ Jesus". That same God gave us brains capable of learning about the fantastic bodies we are given, and the ability to discover ways to keep it in balance.
I cannot believe how long this post is....sorry.
To summarize, depression and anxiety could very well be natural chemical symptoms of CH. Treat them seriously because they'll mess ya up. Be kind to yourself, sort out what you can control from what you can't. Pray to the God of your understanding, meditate,
dance, play, laugh, love everyday. We are not our headaches.
LYG
PFDAN y'all
kathy
P.S. the views expressed in this post may not reflect the views of anyone else. Not intended to stir dissension or conflict or push any religious agenda on anyone.
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Jobette
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Re: Depression
« Reply #14 on: Oct 30th, 2007, 8:55pm » |
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Don't worry Kathy, you are just telling the truth about it.  This depression thing can be a booger. After years of dealing with it while in a cycle, I have just found out or the doctors told me that I had it (depression) in this cycle. Having to deal with chronic pain and a job and family can be and most times is hard, but you can make it through. Sometimes just knowing that the pain will end, if only for a few minutes can be enough. You have to focus on the good, and I KNOW that this is sometimes very hard, but I too have found myself looking at others with bigger issues only to find that I have it good in spite of this CH condition. Try not to dwell on each HA and enjoy you painfree time, even if it is minute by minute 
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sldrswyfe
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Re: Depression
« Reply #15 on: Nov 1st, 2007, 7:45pm » |
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I get VERY teary after pain stops....just cry while Im talking about something else, etc.
To me, I believe it is relief, sadness over the whole damned thing....and face it, you go through alot of emotional energy while fighting pain.
Seems to me, many get "down" when the pain stops...and going through a particulary difficult bout. Just an observation...plus personal experience.
**"holding it together" while fighting is neccessary...and when you don't have to anymore...you realize what you've been through....
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| « Last Edit: Nov 1st, 2007, 7:46pm by sldrswyfe » |
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Lizzie2
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Re: Depression
« Reply #16 on: Nov 2nd, 2007, 1:50am » |
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I have depression - been suffering from on and off bouts of clinical depression and generalized anxiety for the last 10 years or so - well before I had the headaches, actually. Sometimes after bad attacks are over, I feel more depressed as well - and I think that must have some chemical connection - our body just went through some change with this huge painful event and then we're just wiped after it. I dunno.... Maybe that's just me!
I recently started on a med for anxiety, even though I had initially asked my psychiatrist about an antidepressant. He felt that if we could get the anxiety under control with a relatively benign med, then maybe the depression would ease up a bit. I've been going to him for therapy about 2x a week for around 3 years now, and I truly feel that the combo of meds and therapy (it's been mostly therapy for me) seems to help the best!
Either way, just know you're not alone in this. Battling the emotional beast is just as rough as battling the physical beast some days.... Hang in there!!
Hugz and PF wishes,
Carrie 
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sldrswyfe
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Re: Depression
« Reply #17 on: Nov 2nd, 2007, 3:57am » |
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Im so sorry Carrie....
I battle panic disorder...long before CH's as well....don't know what to do for them really. I just "dealt" with them until a few yrs. ago...seems nothing I've tried has helped.
It seems depression comes with it....add stressful life events going on...and I feel very sad alot.
I know, to some, feeling depressed AFTER the pain sounds odd...but it really is how it happens...reflecting on what just happened, accepting that this is the hand you've been dealt...is not easy at times.
I agree, knowing we are NOT ALONE...helps so much...and maintaining a hopeful, positive outlook. Also, surrounding yourself with others that are upbeat, positive, etc, to me, is vital. Sherri
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slacker032
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Re: Depression
« Reply #18 on: Nov 2nd, 2007, 5:05am » |
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Strange...I've battled some anxiety issues as well but I've never sought treatment or medication for it. There probably is some connection with CH's.
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| « Last Edit: Nov 2nd, 2007, 5:08am by slacker032 » |
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sldrswyfe
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Re: Depression
« Reply #19 on: Nov 2nd, 2007, 5:52am » |
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Slacker...you really should mention your anxiety to your doctor...it can't hurt.
I kind of just thought "this is the way I am"...this is "how it is", as if it was normal. It's not. So for many years, I hid it...didn't feel it was worth mentioning, which is part of the whole thing...feeling helpless/hopeless.
Something really may help you...I do know others that have benefitted greatlty from different treatments.
Whatever you decide, I hope you find something to help.
Sherri
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"Great spirits have always found violent
opposition from the mediocrities." -Einstein
"I'll DIE on MY FEET, before I LIVE on MY KNEES"...thanks Jonny...that meant alot
"Oh, say does that star spangled banner yet wave?"....Your damn right it does.
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seasonalboomer
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Re: Depression
« Reply #20 on: Nov 2nd, 2007, 5:57am » |
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on Nov 2nd, 2007, 5:05am, slacker032 wrote:| Strange...I've battled some anxiety issues as well but I've never sought treatment or medication for it. There probably is some connection with CH's. |
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Ya think?
Anxiety and depression are pretty natural step-sisters of this condition. Maybe not the deepest levels but they certainly become part of everyone's lexicon in this deal eventualy.
I've had cycles where I felt deep despair, others where I was so damn jumpy my reaction to every stimuli was, "what now!?!". Not knowing whether you are going to have grueling night of pain, or actually knowing that in an hour or two you will be tossed into the CH grinder every night when you go to bed is ample enough stressor to eventually realize some level of unhealthy anxiety or depression. Throw in a life event; divorce, uncertain job, financial problems, death in family,whatever ; and the reserves are already low and you'll suddenly realize you got it bad.
Seemingly my perfect storm was at the end of this summer. I'm still working on it now. Feeling a lot better -- having to work it hard to put it all back where it belongs.
Scott
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swimchica623
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Re: Depression
« Reply #21 on: Nov 2nd, 2007, 8:22am » |
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For me, figuring out WHY I felt sad after a particularly bad time helped a lot. Talking to a good family member or friend or psychologist might help? It just didn't make sense to me that I could go on during a high cycle and feel emotionally okay, but then when I reached a well-controlled low cycle, I would feel pretty crappy. I think what was happening was I that everything was finally catching up...when things are so bad you just can't really process just how bad things are and then all your feelings come crashing down on you. And then you add the sleep deprivation, and the fact that you've missed so much of your life for so long...its completely understandable. So after I figured it out I realized the best thing was to try as hard as I could to get back to the things I loved to do, even if they were a little hard at first. They made me happier and pulled me out of my slump, had me spending more energy which helped get my sleep back to normal so I got well-rested quicker, etc. With all the other medicines, and the sadness/depression being caused by completely natural, understandable things, I did't see medicating it as an option. Just understanding it and battling it each time it came around.
I hope you feel better soon!
Lisa
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Lizzie2
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Re: Depression
« Reply #22 on: Nov 2nd, 2007, 1:56pm » |
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on Nov 2nd, 2007, 3:57am, sldrswyfe wrote:Im so sorry Carrie....
I battle panic disorder...long before CH's as well....don't know what to do for them really. I just "dealt" with them until a few yrs. ago...seems nothing I've tried has helped.
It seems depression comes with it....add stressful life events going on...and I feel very sad alot.
I know, to some, feeling depressed AFTER the pain sounds odd...but it really is how it happens...reflecting on what just happened, accepting that this is the hand you've been dealt...is not easy at times.
I agree, knowing we are NOT ALONE...helps so much...and maintaining a hopeful, positive outlook. Also, surrounding yourself with others that are upbeat, positive, etc, to me, is vital. Sherri |
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{{{{{{{{Sherri}}}}}}}} Sorry to you as well... You know, when I first read your post, it is so automatic for my mind to jump to, "sorry for what?" And I dont' mean that in any sarcastic way. What I mean is that depression and anxiety are now such fixtures in my life that it feels like my entire existance some days, and not just 2 diseases I have been stuck with. One does tend to forget that these things are not normal....
My dad has panic disorder, and he takes paxil for it as a preventative. He actually gets atypical panic attacks with changes in his heart and everything - one was so bad he ended up on the cardiac floor for 2 days, ruling out heart attack or stroke. I think he does pretty well with the paxil - he also has xanax for attacks, but that is a slippery slope to go down. Xanax can be so addicting! I don't really think he takes it very much, if at all, though.
My mom has anxiety, but it is completely unmedicated, untreated, etc. I think she believes it is just the way she is and that there is nothing that needs to be or should be done about it. Sometimes I want to tell her that it doesn't have to be that way - life doesn't have to be so controlled by these things, even though it feels like there is no other way to exist.
I struggle with depression so much lately.....it's difficult to get out of bed and just live some days. I just got home from a psychiatry appt, actually, and he said that he'll be going away for about 2 weeks after my next appt. That, to me, is stressful, even though I HATE depending on another person like that. It's just that since we never did start a formal antidepressant and only recently started a low dose med for anxiety, my 2x/week therapy appts are often the only thing that keeps me going, as sad as that sounds.
Anyway - ya know I'm always here for you and for anyone going through this other "beast"! While I think for many it is entwined as part of the situation of having cluster headaches, for others of us still it is a living breathing true beast of its own that is often difficult to control and live with!
Hugz,
Carrie
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Guiseppi
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Re: Depression
« Reply #23 on: Nov 2nd, 2007, 2:14pm » |
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Swimchica makes a great point. When you're up to your ass in alligators, getting mutliple CH hits, struggling just to get enough rest that you don't collapse, it's hard to "dwell" on how you feel.
But read kathy's post too. If I step on a nail, I have no problem taking a medication, penicillin, so I don't die from lockjaw. If you find yourself battling a depression that feels like it's overwhelming you, there is certainly no shame in taking a medication that may save your life. If anyone has a legitimate reason to get a whisker depressed now and then it's the CH club!
Guiseppi
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outlaw67_11
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Re: Depression
« Reply #24 on: Nov 3rd, 2007, 6:04pm » |
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hello
i do deal with depression during my cycles
it starts to set in about in the middle of my cycles
because thats when i dont go anywhere or do anything except work and home im short with my family
etc...
the worst is unable to explain what ch is to ppl who do not know what they are and dont understand.
its frustarting.
most of the ppl that have been around a long time know now.
but there are new bosses at work and ive tried to explain and they dont seem to care or dont want to understand.i mean theyre like well its just a headache
or a migraine they dont understand the pain with ch
maybe someday they will listen and understand
i even tell them of this site so maybe they can read the info and understand.
ah well such is life i guess
thanks
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Brian D. Walker
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