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Topic: Losing it (Read 380 times) |
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Markaf
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Today I was cut off by a wreckless driver. I turned right to avoid the collision, slid off the road just missing one tree then coming to an abrupt stop when I hit another one. Only crushed my bumper, I drive an SUV, but it scared the hell out of me. I wonder if I wasn't on so much medication if I could have avoided the whole thing by having faster reactions. This was my first attempt to go back to work in two weeks. Which brings me to another problem. I am a chemist. I perform a lot of wet-bench analysis which needs my full concentration. I am scared that my lack of sleep mixed with the medications I am taking will cause me to make a mistake or hurt myself or others. A few years ago, durring a cycle, I burnt my hands with 12N Nitric Acid.
I can sense my cordination is way off, I am having trouble with simple tasks around the house. Writting this letter has taken me about an hour to this point. I feel isolated, knowing my co-workers do not understand. What is the trade off, take the meds don't get the headaches or stop the meds and ???
And how did these things ever get the name "Headache". It's more like a seizure of the Trigeminal nerve!! We all know the pain, I am just having a really hard time coping with this cycle.
Mark
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Redd
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Re: Losing it
« Reply #1 on: May 22nd, 2006, 7:21pm » |
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First, let us know exactly what meds you are on, and your dosages. Are you chronic or episodic? How much longer do you think your cycle is going to last?
Can try to help but we need more info
Pegg
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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Linda_Howell
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Hearing is one thing. Listening is another.
  
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Re: Losing it
« Reply #2 on: May 22nd, 2006, 7:23pm » |
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Mark,
I agree with the assessment about the word headache. What a understatement.
I cannot address your particular problem as I am not a Doctor but I do empathize with you.
I would say your near-miss on the road was due to GOOD RELFLEX actions however.
If you need someone to talk to, go here...http://www.ouch-us.org/familysvs/familysvs1.shtml
I will call you on my dime. 
Linda
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Kindness, is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us.
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Jasmyn
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Each day will be a new trick in life's journey
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Re: Losing it
« Reply #3 on: May 22nd, 2006, 7:26pm » |
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Mark, I'm so sorry that you are going through such a bad time. I'm not a good person to give advise as to what you must do but here you are not alone.
Sometimes I don't think it is just the meds that cause the lack of concentration, slurring of words and coordination problems we occasionally (in my case regularly) have with this condition. My personal opinion is that some of the electrical wiring to our brains gets a bit confused.
You hang in there, hope should never cease that a cure will be found one of these days. 
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Jazz 
Madness is proclaimed by society’s inability to accept its own infallibility
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E-Double
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Are we ourselves?
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Re: Losing it
« Reply #4 on: May 22nd, 2006, 7:48pm » |
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One of the reasons I have completely detoxed.
I amd a behavior analyst now working in the school consultation department of an autism center. I lecture and train constantly.
Previously I ran Early intervention programs.
I needed my wits and was sick of not being myself.
Though not chemistry I have people's lives in my hands in another way.
Good luck!!!
Eric
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I can't believe that I have to bang my
Head against this wall again
But the blows they have just a little more
Space in-between them
Gonna take a breath and try again.
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unsolved1
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I'm sorry for your situation Mark. I've also been there too.
I just wanted to add one peice of advice that I hope you'll take:
Take some time off work if theres any way possible ( a medical leave of absence ) and see a doctor asap to try and determine a way to get this under control before you do get hurt or someone else. plz
Goodluck
UNsolved
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sailpappy
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Re: Losing it
« Reply #6 on: May 22nd, 2006, 11:18pm » |
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Really sounds like a no brainer! If your asking yourself these questions by redirecting them at the board, you already know the answer!
I agree with E-Double, I completely detoxed or quit all meds for similar resons. They weren't helping the Clusters anyhow and I allowed them to osterasize me from most of the people that were important here!
You have to take the action thats right for you! It only goes without saying that your the most important person in the equasion to begin with!
listen to your inner voice before it becomes a self fullfilling prophesy! Pappy
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MJ
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Re: Losing it
« Reply #7 on: May 23rd, 2006, 12:24am » |
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Mark
Sounds like reasonable thinking to me. Been there too.
I chose med free for the reasons you wonder. However I never untill RC seeds had found a med to help me anyways.
I also work in dangerous situations at times and made stupid mistakes a time or two.
However med free or not the other normal effects of CH be it stress, lack of sleep, inward thinking, all contribute to a slowed or diminished capacity and I think anyone who is in a position to cause harm to self or others through potential carelessness once recognized should maybe sideline themselves a bit.
We gotta work but safety first.
Med free much better though. less cloudiness in your views. And for me easier to handle the pain, and much faster recovery times.
EE glad to see your still hanging in there med free too.
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MJ
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Katherinecm
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Re: Losing it
« Reply #8 on: May 23rd, 2006, 9:25pm » |
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I think my driving & reflexes are adversely affected by medications, and yet when the choice is between suicidal pain and driving OR feeling drugged and needing to depend on family for rides, I choose the pain control. On the other hand I'm chronic and get 5-8 hits a day without meds. How severe your hits are without medication will probably make a huge difference in what decision you make.
Obviously it's unethical to risk either your health or a coworker's. If your pain is under control and the hits have stopped completely you could try weaning off the meds or using a lower dose until you are capable of working while on meds.
Let us know how it works out for you.
Katy
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http://www.squidoo.com/clusterheadaches/
"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings that have a human experience." Teilhard de Chardin
"It is not death or pain that is to be dreaded, but the fear of pain or death." Epictetus
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sailpappy
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Re: Losing it
« Reply #9 on: May 23rd, 2006, 11:11pm » |
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 My hits are never less than a strong 8 to 9++++ just depends on how close I am to the cold water or Ice bag!
I would rather be alive and in pain, than take the kinds of meds I had to take to effectuate any pain relief at all. its always very short lived and the detramental affects on my health from the meds is not.
I'm looking back from the "Have used every known med' I have suicidal thoughts from the pain. but the drugs would make that a more easier step than I care to think! Straight and in control is for me. Maybe only me?? Its nice to back on this side of the syndrome!
Painfull at times but nice still! Pappy
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MJ
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Re: Losing it
« Reply #10 on: May 24th, 2006, 2:06am » |
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I'm with you Sailpappy your not alone.
I am not chronic but can cycle without breaks for a few years.
I only get 8-12 level 10 hits a day but some days I got no pain for a couple hours and love every minute of it.
More so I think med free let me break some multi year cycles. Was 10+ years med free. last year took the RC seeds and got control at last after only 30 years.
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MJ
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sandie99
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Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
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Re: Losing it
« Reply #11 on: May 24th, 2006, 5:08am » |
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Mark,
thank you for telling us. You are NOT alone.
I don't know what meds you're on, but your story reminded me of me when I was on topomax (= dopeymax...). Made my reflexes very slow indeed! And I coudn't recall a thing... 
This is just a silly suggestion, but would it help if you would do everything very slowly at work? Most of us have co-workers and family members, who do not get what ch is and what kind of impact it has. I have lots of sympathy for your situation... I'm a student, so when I get hit/side effects from meds, my essays and dissertation work is just postponed, but nothing really bad can happen.
I wish you PF days and nights.
Best wishes,
Sanna
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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