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Topic: What Do you Say!!!!!! (Read 1503 times) |
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j_erickson85
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What Do you Say!!!!!!
« on: Mar 11th, 2006, 2:51am » |
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i wasat work tonite. I am a nurse and thought that other nurses would understand pain and sympathy..I was wrong  She told me that she would rather have a cluster than a Migraine headache. She told me how bad it sucks when you LAY DOWN AND TRY TO SLEEP IT OFF AND CAN'T. I told her yes your are right i would rather have clusters than migraines. What do you say to a person who just doesn't get it. Do i dare take a nail gun and shoot it through her head  I know thats mean but right now in the middle of a cycle knowing in four hours i'm going to be "dancing" it really pisses me off.
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| « Last Edit: Mar 11th, 2006, 2:53am by j_erickson85 » |
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A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent in doing nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Kevin_M
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Re: What Do you Say!!!!!!
« Reply #1 on: Mar 11th, 2006, 7:01am » |
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More people might be able to identify with the long and painful debilatating bouts of migraine experiences and all the time lost having them. It may be harder to imagine a much more intense and unbearable pain and how scary it can seem reacting to a high Kip for the first time; and then to learn how often it occurs. I'm sure it might be a memorable experience to compare then.
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| « Last Edit: Mar 11th, 2006, 7:25am by Kevin_M » |
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Melissa
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Re: What Do you Say!!!!!!
« Reply #2 on: Mar 11th, 2006, 7:35am » |
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Honestly I've had both, and I wouldn't want either. Hey, at least I can function (somewhat, LOL) inbetween hits. Either way, they both suck.
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| « Last Edit: Mar 11th, 2006, 7:36am by Melissa » |
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rapunzel
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Re: What Do you Say!!!!!!
« Reply #3 on: Mar 11th, 2006, 8:19am » |
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One of the girls at my work laughed when I told her what I was going through! She laughed and said "I would be so happy if my migraines only last fortyfive minutes". Then she walked away- I too had to resist the urge to push a drill through her temple....and also to spray the air freshener that is a known trigger for her migraines.
If everyone had tact, the world would be pretty predictable.
Thats what makes this board so wonderful- everyone here understands, and also has had people who don't understand.
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chewy
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Re: What Do you Say!!!!!!
« Reply #4 on: Mar 11th, 2006, 9:02am » |
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Quote:| "I would be so happy if my migraines only last fortyfive minutes". |
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Tell her to take all of her migraine pain from the last two years and cram it all into 45 minutes and multiply by 5.
See how happy you are then?
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The mad viking
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Re: What Do you Say!!!!!!
« Reply #5 on: Mar 11th, 2006, 9:10am » |
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Cant do other then laugh even so tragic this cluster is.
My mominlaw was a registered nurse before retiering and have a lifetime with experience.
This is what she said to me and infact still believe
"ITS JUST ANOTHER HEADACHE AND NO NEED FOR PAINKILLERS,SICKLEAVE OR MEDICAL DISABILITY
Im laughing of it now but was hard to believe when she was active nurse and trow that in my face
Hopefully not many with that attidude in the business
Svenn
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pattik
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Re: What Do you Say!!!!!!
« Reply #6 on: Mar 11th, 2006, 9:52am » |
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I have all but given up trying to get people to relate. Pain is such a relative thing from one person to the next anyway, and there is nothing to really compare to CH that most people could understand. So I just think to myself that "they" are fortunate to not be able to relate, and when I need some understanding, I have my friends right here.
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mynm156
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Re: What Do you Say!!!!!!
« Reply #7 on: Mar 11th, 2006, 1:54pm » |
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Oh YEs dont even get me started on that. I am an RT and have gone threw the same. I hate it when people say oh I get those too and have no Fing clue what the hell they are talking about. I just move on because they are too ignorant to live much less take care of patients. I had one Nurse who on our great 1-10 pain scale did not believe in 10. I always wince when she asks someone about it.
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Richr8
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Re: What Do you Say!!!!!!
« Reply #8 on: Mar 11th, 2006, 2:22pm » |
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I don't bother even trying any more. People just don't get it, and never will. I come here for comfort where I know people understand and quit trying to convince the rest of the world how bad they are.
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pf wishes,
Rich
...because yesterday is history and you never know what tomorrow will bring.
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Gator
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Re: What Do you Say!!!!!!
« Reply #9 on: Mar 11th, 2006, 9:25pm » |
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on Mar 11th, 2006, 2:51am, j_erickson85 wrote:| Do i dare take a nail gun and shoot it through her head I know thats mean but right now in the middle of a cycle knowing in four hours i'm going to be "dancing" it really pisses me off. |
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If you decide to do this, make sure she is tied down and sees you heating the nail up to glowing red hot as she wouldn't get the full effect otherwise. You know - the anticipation of it coming, the dread at not being able to do anything to stop it and the burning pain once it hits...
Okay, Okay...just kidding. yeah, right
A lot of people can't comprehend past their own experiences. The worst pain that exists is the worst they have ever felt. It is sad that this came from a nurse, but whatcha gonna do? It's not worth getting into a pissing match over.
Maybe you could print off some information and just leave it laying where dipstick will be sure to find it?
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j_erickson85
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Re: What Do you Say!!!!!!
« Reply #10 on: Mar 12th, 2006, 12:01am » |
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I went back to work today and again were on the topic of pain. I said that i know pain and she responded with "are you talking about those weak ass headaches you get again" I just about lost my mind when she said that. I remembered what i had read on this here message board and politely got out of the conversation. and had a smoke..............................
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A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent in doing nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Melissa
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Re: What Do you Say!!!!!!
« Reply #11 on: Mar 12th, 2006, 5:44pm » |
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on Mar 11th, 2006, 9:25pm, Gator wrote:
A lot of people can't comprehend past their own experiences. The worst pain that exists is the worst they have ever felt. |
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This should be ingrained into every human beings psyche.
Great one Gator. 
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Melissa
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Re: What Do you Say!!!!!!
« Reply #12 on: Mar 12th, 2006, 5:47pm » |
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on Mar 12th, 2006, 12:01am, j_erickson85 wrote:| "are you talking about those weak ass headaches you get again" |
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Sounds like either you work at a really rough company, or she's just really a bitch. 
Good for you to know when to let it go.
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sandie99
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Re: What Do you Say!!!!!!
« Reply #13 on: Mar 13th, 2006, 2:39am » |
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I've stopped counting how many times I've heard people tell me "it's just headaches"...  Luckily for me, in those times when it truly mattered, those people understood it.
I know that mum likes to tell people that I have "ch, which is one kind of migraine", because she thinks that people will understand it better like that... I can understand that she does that because migraines are more known, but still I correct her every time and tell things like they are. I know that each time I do that mum is upset... But ch is less known than it should be here in Finland, too, so it's my resposibility as a clusterhead to do my part in sharing the right kind of information about it.
Part of the problem is that our pain tolerance is different. I actually know a person who stayed at home for three days after she accidentally hit her finger to a table...
Sanna
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BarbaraD
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Re: What Do you Say!!!!!!
« Reply #14 on: Mar 13th, 2006, 8:18am » |
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I use the analogy that comparing a migraine to a CH is like comparing a goldfish to a shark -- go put that in your pipe and smoke it witch!!! And YES, I have both migraines and CH! "Weak ass headaches" My aunt Fanny!!!
We've got to come up with a NEW name for these things!!! We get no respect at all.... 
Hugs BD
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seasonalboomer
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Re: What Do you Say!!!!!!
« Reply #15 on: Mar 13th, 2006, 10:24am » |
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on Mar 12th, 2006, 12:01am, j_erickson85 wrote:| I went back to work today and again were on the topic of pain. I said that i know pain and she responded with "are you talking about those weak ass headaches you get again" I just about lost my mind when she said that. I remembered what i had read on this here message board and politely got out of the conversation. and had a smoke.............................. |
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This one is a piece of work. usually I say ignore folks like this. But, this one sounds like the kind that could be a problem. Please print some of the data you can link ot from here and have a serious conversation with this person and tell them that it is important to you that this person understand, and that you are not looking for sympathy, but as a co-worker it is important to you that you make others that you work with aware of this condition, should you ever be at work and get a CH. This person needs de-fusing (even if they think they are being funny). Time for a chit-chat.
SCott
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Gator
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Re: What Do you Say!!!!!!
« Reply #16 on: Mar 13th, 2006, 1:32pm » |
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on Mar 13th, 2006, 8:18am, BarbaraD wrote:
We've got to come up with a NEW name for these things!!! We get no respect at all....
Hugs BD |
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I absolutely agree with you Barb. The name of the disorder minimizes the severity of it. It's like calling an amputation a boo boo.
I have come to hate the term cluster headache. This is not a headache in any sense of the word, except that pain is in my head. Depending on who I am talking to and why, I don't even use the term "cluster headaches" at first. I tell them I have a neuro-vascular disorder which causes excruciatingly severe pain in and around my right eye.
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Sandy_C
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Re: What Do you Say!!!!!!
« Reply #17 on: Mar 13th, 2006, 4:53pm » |
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The people who are dear to me know all I can teach them about my CH. Several of them have seen me with a full blown hit. This was at the very beginning of my first cycle ever, and they were frightened out of their minds for me, thinking I was having some sort of stroke or something (which was nothing compared to what I was thinking was wrong with me). Since then, I've learned, and other than my husband, nobody has seen a hit any higher than a 5, because I just disappear for awhile. I got hit with a 4 during my daughter's wedding reception, but I had it set up with the banquet manager of the club we were at who had a small room unlocked, only for me. I missed about 25 minutes of the reception, but was able to come back as soon as I thought I could function as the mother of the bride.
Those of my friends who have never seen a hit, ask questions, and I try to answer them. If one starts out with the "Oh yeah, I get those too" scenarios, I very quietly and politely tell them "No, you don't - you never have. If you had, you wouldn't be talking so stupidly". I then tell them to go home and google "cluster headaches", and then give me a call and tell me again that you get what I get. Now they understand.
Sandy
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thebbz
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Re: What Do you Say!!!!!!
« Reply #18 on: Mar 13th, 2006, 9:59pm » |
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I posted this a few years ago.l was returning to work from an ER visit and a coworker asked snydly," Hows your headache?" I replied snydly,,,"How about I rip your arm off at the shoulder, pat you on the back and ask, Hows your arm?"
That unfeeling woman you work with...Start with her,I know you want to rip her arm off and hit her with it.  Someone that hasn't felt it could never get it. My wife has observed over and over kip 9,s relentless, has watched as I flopped to unconsiousness,
still she feels and understands, but admits, "I just cant imagine."
Acute cranial pain dysfunction.
ow,ow,ow,ow,ow,ow,ow,ow
jb 
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j_erickson85
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Re: What Do you Say!!!!!!
« Reply #19 on: Mar 14th, 2006, 12:25am » |
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Currently it is March 13, 11:18pm.. Three hours ago she did not understand two and a half hours ago she did.......I had my first ever attack at work and was a Kip 9........She walked in and saw me walking down the back hallway crying and cursing. She asked what's wrong. I'm not one for swearing but in the middle of an attack if someone asks the question "are you ok" i snap. i told her i'm having one of those weak ass f***ing headaches.. She watched me as i jumped up and down and rolled my head and do my whole dance recital DURING A KIP 9!!!!. As I went back up to the nurses station there they were looking up clusters on the web. I got an apology from the nurse who gave me so much grief about something so serious...At least she knows what i go through......... I like how you worded this gator
A lot of people can't comprehend past their own experiences. The worst pain that exists is the worst they have ever felt.[b][/b]
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A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent in doing nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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j_erickson85
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Re: What Do you Say!!!!!!
« Reply #20 on: Mar 14th, 2006, 12:25am » |
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on Mar 14th, 2006, 12:25am, j_erickson85 wrote:Currently it is March 13, 11:18pm.. Three hours ago she did not understand two and a half hours ago she did.......I had my first ever attack at work and was a Kip 9........She walked in and saw me walking down the back hallway crying and cursing. She asked what's wrong. I'm not one for swearing but in the middle of an attack if someone asks the question "are you ok" i snap. i told her i'm having one of those weak ass f***ing headaches.. She watched me as i jumped up and down and rolled my head and do my whole dance recital DURING A KIP 9!!!!. As I went back up to the nurses station there they were looking up clusters on the web. I got an apology from the nurse who gave me so much grief about something so serious...At least she knows what i go through......... I like how you worded this gator
A lot of people can't comprehend past their own experiences. The worst pain that exists is the worst they have ever felt.[b][/b] |
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A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent in doing nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Gator
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Re: What Do you Say!!!!!!
« Reply #21 on: Mar 14th, 2006, 1:02pm » |
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Well, I am sorry you had to have an attack in front of her to get your message across, but I am happy that she has come around and apologized for her insensitivity and remedied her lack of knowledge. Future cluster patients will now get the respect they deserve from her because of this.
Just another small step on the road. Thanks for taking it.
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Charlotte
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Re: What Do you Say!!!!!!
« Reply #22 on: Mar 14th, 2006, 1:45pm » |
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What we think is a good day would have a lot of people hiding under the covers.
Gator had a good illustration in reply #9.
I'm still too illiterate to get a quote so go up & read it again for me.
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| « Last Edit: Mar 14th, 2006, 3:47pm by Charlotte » |
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unsolved1
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Re: What Do you Say!!!!!!
« Reply #23 on: Mar 15th, 2006, 10:17pm » |
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I just heard that $hit today from the visiting nurse. (She had to come and flush my picc line) She said she used to have clusters to. I gave her a graphic, 'over-the-top' description of pain that left her speechless. She admitted that she never had a cluster attack before. LOL !!
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Lizzie2
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Re: What Do you Say!!!!!!
« Reply #24 on: Mar 16th, 2006, 12:24am » |
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When I did my research project for the honors program in nursing school, I met with quite a lot of surprising adversity. The project was designed to create a new curriculum for nursing students and other health care professionals on migraine and other headaches. I had to do a pre and post survey. You wouldn't BELIEVE the comments people wrote on these things. I felt degraded every single night. I cried myself to sleep sometimes because I was so frustrated that people going into a caring profession could be so cruel and heartless. I showed the surveys to a friend, and she was shocked...she said, "And these are our future nurses?" If I'd wanted the easy way out, I would have just shut up and quit talking about my experiences and quit educating them. But I persisted on. I have no idea what kind of impact I made....some people thanked me, but those harsh and mean responses will never ever go away. I've met with mean, nasty comments even from nursing professors! I continue to meet with adversity among nurses on the unit where I work. Yet I'm very sympathetic to them when they tell me they're having a bad headache.
It's so frustrating. It seems people who work in health care are less understanding than anyone else - which is really just mind boggling. Is it just ignorance? I wrote something about it once for an online journal.
Gator - glad you wrote what you said about people being unable to see past their own experiences. This is the whole point behind the JCAHO assessment of pain as the 5th vital sign. So many times, a nurse or doctor would ask a patient what their pain was, and the patient would say it's a 10, and the doc or nurse would say, "no way it can't be....it's really a 5." I still hear things similar to this from time to time in various locations. The JCAHO standard says that the pain is whatever the patient says the pain is.
Sometimes I got frustrated by people losing their minds over a hangnail and coming to the ER about it. But overtime I learned tolerance. These people who came in with what appeared to be 'trivial' things, would say it was a 10. To them, it really was. That's why we can't judge other people's pain. To me, a hangnail might be a 2, but to that person, it's a 10. It's equal to them as a CH is to me...even though we know a CH is much more painful than a hangnail. And ultimately, the world functions better if we respect people for whatever they experience as their worst pain ever. I'm glad for that person with the hangnail that they've never had to experience worse. Yes, I may be annoyed by their whining about it and carrying on, but at the same time, if that's the worst they've ever had happen to them....then carry on!
j_erickson85, good for you for being the better person and walking away when you could have very easily gotten into a fight with the person being so ignorant towards you. That was very smart. We all have to recognize when our own teaching, ranting, and raving isn't going to change the way the other person believes. And I'm sorry that you had to get hit at work for her to believe you. That's not an easy experience... I'm glad she got to see though - for some people, they need something to hit them in the face before they "get it." Hope the nurses are kinder to you now that they know better. I'm still working on that - but I'm also new on the unit, so I figure I can't go too crazy all at once...
Hugz,
Carrie
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